Tonight’s guest blog post is brought to you by Sarah Clare.
Secrets to Writing Good Sex Scenes
A well-written sex scene can make your story sizzle. Several steamy sex scenes can make your novel an international bestseller (ahem, 50 Shades of Grey). Depending on how they’re written, sex scenes can either be the downfall of your novel, relegating it to the dime-novel romance bin, or they can help to propel your story forward, keep your reader engaged, or even tell something about your character. In some cases, sex scenes can be pivotal to the plot and theme of the story, like in the short story (and movie adapted from it) Brokeback Mountain.
Sex doesn’t have to be smut. Learning how to write good sex scenes can help you use them to your advantage without risking them weakening your story. Here are a few tips for you can write better sex scenes:
Avoid Cliché
How many times have you read about a character’s “throbbing member” or “heaving breasts?” And how many times have one of those characters been “hot with desire” or “raging with passion?” Clichés like these can weaken a sex scene and make it seem silly and tawdry. Avoid clichés when writing about sex and you will instantly improve the quality of the writing in the scene. (A good rule of thumb for any writing.)
Less is More
What we don’t say can tell us so much more than what we do. Focus on the power of suggestion rather than overt descriptions of what is happening. You can do this by describing the senses, such as the scent of the nape of a neck, or the sight of a bare thigh, or feel of the small of the back. Avoid direct descriptions of genitalia, as these can sounds too pornographic or too gynecological.
Use Metaphor
When you can’t say what you want to say directly without sounding clumsy, use metaphor. By using metaphor, you can create a much more powerful image through imagery and suggestion. You can also add more depth to the scene by creating emotional weight and greater meaning.
Focus on Emotion
Sex is about much more than the physical act. Make your sex scenes more meaningful by focusing on the emotion behind them. Obviously, there is lust, but this is so basic as to be almost not worth mentioning. What is more interesting is if there is anger, or fear, or trepidation, or manipulation. What is it that your characters are thinking and feeling as they move through the act? This is what will bring your scene to life.
Make the Scene Do Double Duty
Everything in your story should happen for a reason — even when your characters are having sex. What does the scene do for the story? Does it reveal something about your character? Does it move the plot forward? Always make sure that your sex scenes are doing more than just showing your characters having sex. Maybe the scene triggers a flashback about a pivotal event. Or maybe it provides the impetus for your character to do something bold and unexpected. Explore how the scene can help you to do more for your story.
Sex scenes can be the spice your story needs, or they can be the clunky weight that brings it down. Follow these tips and you can write better sex scenes that work for your story and help to engage readers.
What are your tips for writing better sex scenes? Share them in the comments!
Morgen: Less is more – absolutely. I’ve just started reading ‘Fifty Shades Darker’ out of curiosity (and because the British Red Cross shop had a buy one get one free sale and I needed a second book!) and I’ve got to page 80-something (nothing happens until page 66) and if I read ‘my inner goddess’ once more it’ll fly across the room. 
Thank you, Sarah!
Sarah Clare is a writer and oversees the site
http://projectmanagementsoftware.com
, where she has recently been researching online project management. In her spare time, Sarah enjoys cooking and scrapbooking.
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We look forward to hearing your comments.
Pete Rogan
January 14, 2013 at 7:12 pm
To this list I would add: Continuity of story. A sex scene does indeed (if done well, and not added gratuitiously) develop character and increase character interest, between the participants and between the characters and the reader. But coming out of the scene, the resumption of daily life needs to reflect the results of the intimacy.
This can be a deepening of the bond between the characters, the revelation of a vulnerability that now becomes a stumbling-block or a challenge (and of course the participants very likely think of it very differently!), or even the discovery of a facet of personality, of personal need, that becomes an issue of itself. This is part of the charm of “50 Shades,” but it need not be a mutual need, or even a mutual discovery. A sex scene can thus become a turning point that goes in different directions for the characters involved.
I cite Kathe Koja’s “Under the Poppy” for the way sex can complicate an already heartbreakingly complex relationship. Sex can be a great device for plot and character development, used wisely. Its power should never be underestimated.
Jane Risdon
January 14, 2013 at 8:36 pm
Enjoyed reading this Sarah, thanks for your words of wisdom and to you too Pete. I have always avoided sex scenes, out of cowardice, but unexpectedly found my characters in a situation which led to sex and I was stumped….the story wrote itself to this point. Then I decided to not get ‘down and dirty’ or drench it in metaphors, but as they were old lovers, meeting again after years and some trouble between them, I hinted at it and made it fun…a reunion of kindred spirits and renewed intimacy….phew, got me off the hook nicely. I shall watch where my characters take me next time. Enjoyed everything as usual Morgen, thanks for tackling such a difficult subject…and thanks to Sarah and to Pete for his comments too.
Yvonne Hertzberger
January 14, 2013 at 9:59 pm
Excellent article. I’m with Pete, too. If it doesn’t move the story forward in some way it shouldn’t be there.