Today’s book review of a single short story / collection / writing guide is brought to you by yours truly, Morgen Bailey.
The Book on Killing Zombies by G Wright MD
Have you ever wondered if a Zombie Apocalypse could actually occur?
Well now you finally have these answers.
You will learn how to kill zombies during an apocalypse using knowledge now bestowed upon you by an actual medical doctor. Learn how to neutralize a zombie and learn indirect ways to ultimately annihilate its brain by way of:
- Zombie Hydration
- Zombie Blood Loss
- Zombie Immunology & Infections
- The Zombie Cardiovascular System
- Zombie Lung Function and Oxygenation
- Zombie Orthopedics
- Zombie Digestion & Metabolism
- Thermal Conditions & Injuries
- Zombie Neurology
Finally, a brilliant work written by a medical doctor who, unlike most authors of this popular zombie genre, has the ability to get down to the root the anatomy, physiology, and biochemistry of any would-be zombies and incorporates that knowledge to give his audience a fascinating read that can be satirically macabre in a way that can only be best captured by a physician. Even if you aren’t a zombie fan, this conversation starter is a must read that should be on everyone’s coffee table, or in their Kindle or other ebook reading device.
Dr Wright spotted me offering reviews on Twitter and emailed me this book. I used to be a horror fan and blame Stephen King for me wearing glasses (I’d read Christine, Firestarter etc. under the duvet with a torch when I should be sleeping) but have since ‘softened’ to crime. I’m a big fan of quirky titles so when Dr Wright asked, and I realised it was only 34 pages (according to Amazon), I couldn’t say “no”. Well, I could have done but I didn’t want to.
As usual with my busy life, I ended up reading it the morning the review was due to go up. I was going to start the night before but had forgotten to charge my Kindle so had enough power for two games of Solitaire and that was it. Of course I could have started the book but then I didn’t want to get hooked then not be able to read more. So here I am at 6.30am embarking on The Book on Killing Zombies.
Although the chapter headings had a clinical feel to them, I knew I was in for a fun ride. I smiled at the Preface’s “my mother would have been so proud”. Being British, I didn’t know what the CDC stood for, although I guessed it was a medical organisation. Good old Google (other search engines are available) told me it was the ‘Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’ so having it in full in the first instance would have been useful. We first get a taste (pardon the pun!) for the potential of zombies in the Preface with true reports of humans feeding on other humans. We know it exists, but the Preface ends assuring us that “Zombies can’t exist, but if they could, I now present to you the methods to get’m good!”. I can sleep easy.
Chapter 1 is Zombie Hydration and as the title suggests, is all about water. Again we’re reassured that as long as zombies don’t have access to anything containing water (animals, human etc.) then they’d “dry out like shoe leather”. At the end of each chapter we have ‘How you could use this information to your advantage’ so more reassurance that everything will be OK and tips on how to ensure that.
Next up is Zombie Blood Loss. A very short but vital chapter on other reasons why zombies wouldn’t last long (especially if bumped off by their still-human counterparts). Patience and determination are definitely themes to this book.