Today’s book review of a self-help guide (for a change) is brought to you by yours truly, Morgen Bailey.
‘From Invisible to Irresistible’ by Peter Jones
Synopsis: From Invisible to Irresistible is the shorter, quirkier, but none-the-less completely gorgeous companion guide to How To Start Dating And Stop Waiting. Through a series of twelve anecdotes Peter Jones highlights (and fixes) those underlying problems, that make otherwise attractive charming people invisible to those they’d like to date. Chapters include: Changing Your Mind – How you can think yourself more attractive, and why a little back-to-front logic might work wonders; Changing Your Image – Why it might be a good idea to cut off your hair (or grow it back), how to shed pounds without spending a fortune, and why hiring a professional image consultant could be a waste of money; and Changing Your Environment – Why sitting at home in front of the TV isn’t a dating strategy, why some of your friends are holding you back, and why it’s vitally important to have the right sofa.
This book is available via http://www.amazon.co.uk/From-Invisible-To-Irresistible-Attracting/dp/1494784130, http://www.amazon.com/From-Invisible-To-Irresistible-Attracting/dp/1494784130 etc. Peter’s website is http://peterjonesauthor.com.
In fiction, we make a big deal about title; how they have to represent the contents. In non-fiction, it’s even more important, and this one certainly caught my attention. I was invited to review the book and I know the author (which doesn’t affect my reviews, by the way – I’m just as tough an editor with them too!).
Via the front index, we’re invited to change our mind, image and environment (Peter then explains that he did the second and got the girl).
The ‘Change Your Mind’ section encourages us to lose ‘toxic’ friends – those only too eager to bring us down. I have two close friends who have had a lot of bad luck (mostly economic) over the past few months and rather than sapping my energy, I love helping them. Most people love to be needed, wanted, but I know what Peter’s getting at; there are those who just love misery and enjoy bringing others down to their level. I have asked myself over the years whether someone is a 3a.m. friend? Would they be there if I needed them in the early hours? If the answer’s ‘no’, then it’s likely you can cut loose.
Peter has a wonderfully simple equation: We think that Me + a girl* = happiness (or ‘boy’ in my case) but really Me + happiness = a girl (boy). The old saying that we have to love ourselves before we can love anyone else really is true. This is then followed by the first of several action points (laced with humour).
There are generally three levels of single people: single and happy (with being single); single and looking (that’s me, or rather somewhere in between); single and desperate (definitely not me) and the next section covers the latter.
The book continues with various themes of self-worth and, as Peter says, it’s very easy to think negative self-talk.
Each section ends with Peter’s bullet points that, although the sections are short, sum up what’s been said.
We then move on to ‘Changing Your Image’. On the whole, we humans are shallow creatures and looks are important, as are first impressions. Like other aspects of this book, the section re. Peter’s hair resonated with me. I’d been told for years to dye it but I loved my different shades of blonde but it took yet another person to point out my greys for me to take the plunge. I went for a honey blonde which had a reddish tint, and I love it. Like dieting (I’ve lost three and a half stone – 22kgs in ‘real’ money – since June 2013), I think, “Why didn’t I do it years ago?”
As a writer, ‘Releasing your inner thespian’ had me intrigued and this catalogued Peter’s not-inexpensive trials and tribulations on the road to becoming a fashion icon. I’ve learned over the years not to wear clothes that I don’t feel 90-100% in. I slob around the house, but I still have standards. Anything with unintended holes is reserved for the ‘wear only when doing DIY’ bag.
We then move on to environment – the people and places that surround us.
I’ve received the same advice as Peter when it comes to finding a soulmate, including “stop looking and he’ll come along”. I stopped looking for about three years and he didn’t. Once we’ve dispensed with the aforementioned negative friends, we look at our surroundings. Are they couple-friendly? My current set-up sounds very similar to Peter’s ‘before’ (small couch, single chairs), although my budget is more BHF (British Heart Foundation) than DFS (a leading furniture store, here in the UK).
Finally, as Peter rightly points out, we have to get out. I walk my dog two or three times a day but go at times when it’s quiet because I like the quiet (it means I get to write, edit, read while I’m walking) but doh… not the right thing to do. I should be going when everyone else goes. Just because I work from home, it doesn’t mean that others do. I should be going before / after the 9-5, although it’s barely light after 5pm at the moment but that shouldn’t stop me in a few weeks’ time. I have a sociable dog, we should be sociable.
Peter finalises the book with a 5-point summary of everything covered so far. A lot of it is common sense but how often do we need a nudge in the right direction? Yes, most of the time.
Rating: 4 out of 5
Based in Northamptonshire, England, Morgen Bailey (“Morgen with an E”) is a prolific blogger, podcaster, editor / critiquer, Chair of NWG (which runs the annual H.E. Bates Short Story Competition), Head Judge for the NLG Flash Fiction Competition and creative writing tutor for her local county council. She is also a freelance author of numerous ‘dark and light’ short stories, novels, articles, and very occasional dabbler of poetry. Like her, her blog, https://morgenbailey.wordpress.com, is consumed by all things literary. She is also active on Twitter, Facebook along with many others (listed on her blog’s Contact page). She also recently created five online writing groups and an interview-only blog.
Her debut novel is the chick lit eBook The Serial Dater’s Shopping List ($0.99 / £0.77) and she has six others (mostly crime) in the works. She also has eight collections of short stories available (also $0.99 / £0.77 each) – detailed on https://morgenbailey.wordpress.com/books-mine/short-stories.
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