Anesthesiology – Morgen 'with an E' Bailey

Welcome to Flash Fiction Friday and the sixty-fifth piece in this series. This week’s is a 572-worder by multi-genre author Dr Margaret Aranda.

Glistening in the Moonlight

Sheriff John was a Sheriff. He wore a shiny badge and shiny boots, and wore a brown cowboy hat with a Sherrifs golden buckle that covered up all his hair. I never saw his hair.

Every week on television in Los Angeles, California, he would sing, “Put another candle on my birthday cake”, as a yummy carousel cake spun around and the camera went in for a close up. There were lions and tigers and bears on the carousel. Roar! They spun around and around, as if dancing in their own world, oblivious to the rest of us. They were only focused on going up and down, down and up, chasing one another around and around. They were simply Royal. Majestic.

I was six. I closed my eyes really, really tight and I thought that if I closed them hard enough and “thought” extra hard, I could turn into one of these gorgeous animals. And so I did it.

I closed my eyes and I blinked just like that Genie in TV that has a cute little home in a bottle with red draperies and black bedsheets, golden tassles all about. I closed my brown eyes and I thought so hard that I expected to open my eyes and literally be in the body of a great lion. My eyes crinkled. At first, I could feel nothing. After a time, I could definitely feel my tail growing, and I thought. “It must be almost time to open my eyes.”

I scrunched my eyes more now, as I wanted to make sure that nothing would be missing. I wanted to be sure as ever that my teeth would be long and sharp, and that my claws would glisten in the moonlight. “There has to be nothing better than glistening in the moonlight,” I thought, momentarily forgetting that I was still a girl. My mouth cracked a gentle smile as again, my tail was starting to come out. I waited for it to grow fully, still crunching my eyes tightly.

Now I thought I was ready to open my eyes now, without getting it wrong. Certainly I was on the right track. Ever so painfully slowly, I opened my eyes. At first, they ached from squinting so hard in my fervent prayer. I saw the light of day as they opened, and there he was again! I glared closer, disbelief covering my entire body. Sheriff John was reading from a piece of paper.

“Wait!”, I thought, “I’m not supposed to know what a piece of paper is!” My eyes began to blur as the first tears started forming. “I must not be a lion!” He wouldn’t stop to care about my plight. “Linda, Joanne, Sarah, Tom, Edward, and Brian! Wishing you all a Happy Birthday!” said Sheriff John, happy as could be.

I was disappointed, hurt, and well, I was sad. I was shocked. “How come it didn’t work?” “I can’t believe it didn’t work!” I was already six years old, the smartest one in my class, and I got Gold Stars on my tests! What did I do wrong?

I sunk in the living room sofa. I cried big tears of reality and disappointment. And I learned, as we all do, that I couldn’t just change into a lion whenever I wanted to.

I kept it to myself until just now. I’m only telling you because I know you won’t tell anyone else.

***

I asked Margaret what prompted this piece and she said…

I entered a Blog Challenge about every age from 1-25 for the month of May. This has a lot of hits and several Google+ Shares, so I thought you might like it.

I did very much. Thank you, Margaret.

Dr. Margaret Aranda and her daughter were in a car accident in 2006. She was unable to walk or talk for several years, was bedridden for six years, and lived on an iv for three years. She is a Stanford-trained doctor in Anesthesiology, Critical Care, and is American Board Certified in both. She is trained in Age Management Medicine by Cenegenics Medical Institute, and spends her time keeping patients well in Preventive Medicine, writing, blogging, touching bases with 7,000 FB Friends, and petting her two dogs. Her first book, No More Tears: A Physician Turned Patient Inspires Recovery, is by Tate Publishing and comes out in December, 2012. Additional works include Stepping from the Edge, Little Missy Two-Shoes Likes a Ladybug, and her WIP is From Menarche through Menopause: A Journey through Time. She is tucked away in a horse community in Los Angeles, CA.

You can find out more about Margaret and her writing via…

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If you’d like to submit your 1,000-word max. stories for consideration for Flash Fiction Friday take a look here, or a longer piece (1001 – 3,000 words) for Short Story Saturdays click here.

The blog interviews will return as normal tomorrow with multi-genre author Kenneth Weene – the five hundred and eighty-second of my blog interviews with novelists, poets, short story authors, bloggers, biographers, agents, publishers and more. A list of interviewees (blogged and scheduled) can be found here. If you like what you read, please do go and investigate further. And I enjoy hearing from readers of my blog; do either leave a comment on the relevant interview (the interviewees love to hear from you too!) and / or email me.

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Welcome to Flash Fiction Friday and the fifty-seventh piece in this series. This week’s is a 621-worder by multi-genre author Dr Margaret Aranda.

Know that You are Loved

The sound stayed with me day and night and night and day. Nothing could take it away, nor did I want it to cease. It was like the sound of breathing, like the beating of the heart or the ticking of a clock. In its serenity, it calmed me to know that it was still alive. But after a while, the sound echoed inside my room and my head, too. It beat at me as if the wind twisted into a storm, beating its rain upon a windy and loud window pane like Dorothy was befuddled with in The Wizard of Oz.

Drip drop. Hum drum. How many ml are left? Let me climb up my intravenous line and check to see. Hmmm. Only 11:30 pm and yet I know morning will be here soon. 500 ml left at 7 ml/hr = about 7 hr of fluid. Calculating. Yes. Then I need to wake up at 6:30 am to change the iv fluid to a new 1000 ml bag. So, do I want to wake up at 6:30 am? Well, actually, no. I do not.

So I look around my perimeter. I see the dark wooden wardrobe next to my bed, just like the one Aunt Nancy used to have. Except mine was full of iv tubing, and alcohol pads that could smell if I scrunched my nose just so. Hers was full of Beswick Bone China from England, hardly a comparison. I check the iv fluid and but of course all the new bags are downstairs, cold in the refrigerator. No one took out a bag at 11 at night, because no one has to live on an iv and wonder how long the thing will last into the night. If it runs out while I am sleeping, the iv line could clot. Then I could lose my PICC line completely, and that would be sad.

I decide to change it now, because I do not wish to awaken early. Drip drop. Hum drum. I change the bag. I do my duty. I have to, needless to say, no one else will do it for me.

I look in the mirror and ask myself if I am loved. It is a hand-held mirror, blackened silver that needs shining. Of course it is next to me to ensure that I don’t have pepper in my teeth after a meal. This is a little thing that gives me grace and stature. I have to be able to smile, knowing that I do not have black pepper between my teeth. I know it is not important, but then again, I know that it is important to me. So I have to live my life forward, not backward.

I have to keep my eyes not on the race, but on the distance. If I pace myself, I know I can do this. I can take one day at a time. I can know that I am loved. This gives me meaning, purpose, and drive. I look at the iv and hear the hum drum and the drip drop once again. I look at the tear-shaped drop of fluid…the same drops I gave to my patients when I was their anesthesiologist. And I know without a doubt that the drop brings life. Before, the drops brought life to my patients. Now, they bring life to me. Tear-shaped drops, falling one by one, onto the meniscus housing a well of life to come.

But instead of being bitter about it, I just rise up on the inside. I tell myself that I can do it. I tell myself that not only can I do it, but I will do it. I will do it. I will.

***

I asked Margaret what prompted this piece and she said…

My daughter and I were in a car accident in 2006. I was a patient for several years, and required an iv at home. I’ve since recovered from the iv, but will never forget what it was like.

Which makes the piece all the more powerful. Thank you, Margaret.

Dr. Margaret Aranda is American Board Certified Anesthesiology, Critical Care, and Forensic Medicine. A graduate of the Keck USC School of Medicine, she completed her studies at Stanford University School of Medicine, both as an Anesthesiology Resident and a Critical Care Fellow. She spends her time writing, seeing patients, and caring for her daughter. She loves to enter forums with her 7,700 FaceBook and You Tube friends, and can be caught riding a stationary bike every so often. Her first book, ‘No More Tears: A Physician Turned Patient Inspires Recovery’, is scheduled for production by Tate Publishing in December 2012. Additional works include ‘Stepping from the Edge’ and her Children’s Book, ‘Little Missy Two-Shoes Likes a Ladybug’; both of these are scheduled for 2013 production. Tucked away on horse property in Los Angeles, California, Dr. Aranda’s lifetime motto is: “Live to Serve”.

You can find out more about Margaret and her writing via…

***

If you’d like to submit your 1,000-word max. stories for consideration for Flash Fiction Friday take a look here.

The blog interviews will return as normal tomorrow with debut literary novelist J.R. Crook – the five hundred and twenty-sixth of my blog interviews with novelists, poets, short story authors, bloggers, biographers, agents, publishers and more. A list of interviewees (blogged and scheduled) can be found here. If you like what you read, please do go and investigate further. And I enjoy hearing from readers of my blog; do either leave a comment on the relevant interview (the interviewees love to hear from you too!) and / or email me.

You can sign up to receive these blog posts daily or weekly so you don’t miss anything… and follow me on Twitter where each new posting is automatically announced. You can also read / download my eBooks and free eShorts at Smashwords, Sony Reader Store, Barnes & Noble, iTunes Bookstore, Kobo and Amazon, with more to follow. I have a new forum, friend me on Facebook, like me on Facebook, connect with me on LinkedIn, find me on Tumblr, complete my website’s Contact me page or plain and simple, email me. I also now have a new blog creation service especially for, but not limited to, writers.

Unfortunately, as I post an interview a day (amongst other things) I can’t review books but I have a feature called ‘Short Story Saturdays’ where I review stories of up to 2,500 words. Alternatively if you have a short story or self-contained novel extract / short chapter (ideally up to 1000 words) that you’d like critiqued and don’t mind me reading it / talking about and critiquing it (I send you the transcription afterwards so you can use the comments or ignore them) 🙂 on my ‘Bailey’s Writing Tips’ p o dcast, then do email me. They are fortnightly episodes, usually released on Sundays, interweaving the recordings between the red pen sessions with the hints & tips episodes. I am now also looking for poetry for Post-weekend Poetry.