David Giles – Morgen 'with an E' Bailey

Hello everyone and welcome to the forty-ninth month of this competition. There were 34 entries from 19 authors for the theme of ‘conservatory’. NB You can all send in three stories for a better chance of being picked.

Two were disqualified for being 98 and 99 words. Fortunately both authors had submitted other stories… yay. I offer a maximum of three because I enjoy reading stories but also in case one or more is disqualified. Oh yes, always half glass full. 🙂 One was 101 because there was no space between sentences so ‘it.Mum’ had counted as one word but obviously aren’t. Fortunately the author had submitted two other stories of exactly 100 words so they were fine.

Three others, sadly all from the same author, were 99 (two words should have been one), 97 (don’t know why) and 101 (because there was a word missing). The author was a regular entrant so there’s always next month. Another ended up being 98 because mother in law hadn’t been hyphenated (https://www.lexico.com/en/definition/mother-in-law).

One missed out because, however hard I tried, it had nothing to do with this month’s theme.

The winning stories are ones that I reacted most favourably to. They were clever, surprising, eek-making (in a good way),or gave me a warm fuzzy feeling (without being sickly). Sometimes a story beats another because it has a stronger link to the theme so it’s worth writing a story to the theme rather than tweaking a story you already have to loosely fit it. There are often stories similar in plot so some may have missed out being placed purely because there was another story that beat them purely for that reason.

You may have chosen a different order or indeed not placed one or more of them so if you entered and didn’t find your story / stories here, don’t lose heart. You probably only just missed out so do enter new stories this month*, next month, whenever you like (but not in advance!). It’s an ongoing competition and free, so you could win at any time. There were new and familiar names this month so anyone could win… it’s all dependent upon whether your story grabs me, for whatever reason (whether it be clever, funny, unusual, quirky, or sweet).

Apart from the top three and highly commended, there are some ‘Honourable Mentions’. They don’t win anything but they were so close to being Highly Commended that I wanted them to know how close they came. It’s still something for them to put on their CVs.

*The theme for October is ‘praise’ and you can submit your entries (and do send three) at any time up to midnight (UK time) on Thursday 31st October. Details and entry forms on https://morgenbailey.wordpress.com/100-word-free-monthly-competition. So without further ado, below are the successful entries this month.

First place (winning free access to three of my online creative writing courses (currently worth £60 / $60) or a free edit and critique of up to 2,000 words (worth £14 / $18):

David Giles with ‘Keeping Quiet’ – partly because I love inanimate objects being the main character

The conservatory is the place where things are kept, maintained.
It remembers things. Things that were meant to remain secret. It remembers the shouts, the kicks, the slaps, the curses, the mutterings, the shot, the slump, the sawing, the digging, the wake, the comings and goings, and the purposeful plod of Detective Inspector Sparks.
And, just as Mr Sparks is about to give up his investigation, it will reveal its secrets: the creak and warp of a carelessly replaced floorboard, the steady release of a suspiciously putrid tang, the previously unnoticed stray hair.
And then the search team will arrive.

Second place (winning free access to two of my online creative writing courses (currently worth £40 / $40) or a free edit and critique of up to 1,500 words (worth £11 / $14):

Chris Tattersall with ‘So Close Yet So Far’

He sat looking through the glass of the conservatory, admiring the flowers beyond. The colours were vibrant, the smells he imagined would be a sensual bombardment. He craved to pass through the doors into Eden but alas his condition wouldn’t allow it.
He placed a gentle hand against the pane where millimetres away a lily rested its petal.
She didn’t see a man that cared, she saw a vagrant, dirty palm on the glass and peering into the conservatory of her lonely isolated existence.
She screamed, he ran.
Their mutual passion could save them both, if only they knew it.

Third place (winning free access to one of my online creative writing courses (currently worth £20 / $20) or a free edit and critique of up to 1,000 words (worth £7 / $9):

Sophie Toovey with ‘Ruby’

He looked up at the clear panels of glass, held together by an iron web.
The stars were visible, though faint glimmers of light in the velvet sky.
The air was cold.
He brushed his hand against the rough carpet and felt the sharp pain sear his finger.
Sitting up, he retrieved the shard and pressed the wound.
There would be blood.
He looked down at the broken picture.
Ruby drops to mourn forty years he lost. He smiled at the grim irony.
Picking up a smooth stone, he raised his arm and watched the stars blink. Then he threw.

Highly commended (winning my Entering Writing Competitionscourse worth £20 / $20) or a free edit and critique of up to 1,000 words (worth £7 / $9) – in alphabetical order:

Alan Barker with ‘Touch and Go’
Anne-Marie Latter with ‘Home Improvements’
Carol Allison with ‘Afternoon Tea’
Laura Besley with ‘When the Muse Refuses’
Valerie Fish with ‘Rotten Tomatoes’

Honourable mentions (not winning anything but only narrowly missing out and still looking good on their CV) – in alphabetical order:

Darren York with ‘Cold Caller’
Isabel Flynn with ‘Those Who Live In Glass Houses Cannot Throw Stones’
Katie Jones with ‘Top Secret’
Paul Mastaglio with ‘Who Did It?’
Rebecca Price with ‘In the Conservatory’

Congratulations, everyone. The entries for this month are already drifting in. Remember, you can send up to three per month so rather than miss out on a chance by sending one story, do submit more.

If you’ve enjoyed these stories and / or just want to leave a comment, please do so below and / or you can email me at morgen@morgenbailey.com., although I won’t (can’t) discuss forthcoming entries unless it’s a general query.

Hello everyone and welcome to the forty-eighth month of this competition. There were 44 entries from 21 authors for the theme of ‘escalator’. NB You can all send in three stories for a better chance of being picked.

A record (I think) ten stories were disqualified this month. Two for only being 99 words – one had the same word written twice the other had an ‘a’ missing before a noun (t-shirt in this case) which was a real shame because it was the only submission from a new entrant. Another had a word missing (don’t come to grief) so would have been 101. And another had ‘rude’ instead of ‘ride’ so lost points. Please read your submissions carefully before pressing ‘submit’.

One for 98 words because a describing adjective (soon to be) was not hyphenated when it should have been. Sadly the only entry from its (regular) participant. Another was 98 words for no apparent reason but did include ‘five-year-old’ (correctly) which could have been manually counted as three words. Fortunately the (new to this competition) author submitted two other stories although sadly one of those was also short: 99 originally but had ‘the the’ incorrectly so actually 98. Another was 99 because a word had been split when it should have been one (mismanagement). It’s a shame because it was a great story but the author had submitted two others (both 100) so my favourite of those went through. Another 99-worder was downgraded from 100 words because an adjective (dark haired) should have been hyphenated. It’s only fair to all entrants to have the same rules apply to everyone.

If you’re not using Word, please copy/paste your stories into the likes of http://wordcounter.net to ensure your story is exactly 100 words.

Another (one of three from a new entrant) lost points because it referred to an elevator (lift) as an escalator, which was a shame as it was my favourite story up to that point. Another piece had ‘stories’ for levels of a building, which is correct in US English (which it was) but we say ‘storeys’ here in Britain so not an error but it happens a fair amount in the UK novels I edit so worth a mention here.

*The theme for September is ‘conservatory’ and you can submit your entries (and do send three) at any time up to midnight (UK time) on Monday 30th September. Details and entry forms on https://morgenbailey.wordpress.com/100-word-free-monthly-competition. So without further ado, below are the successful entries this month.

First place (winning free access to three of my online creative writing courses (currently worth £60 / $60) or a free edit and critique of up to 2,000 words (worth £14 / $18):

Laura Besley with ‘Ships Passing’

Ascending: a girl, eyes bright and blue.
Descending: a boy, tired brown eyes.
Ascending: she checks her phone for work emails.
Descending: he plays a game on his phone.
Ascending: she looks up from her phone, sees brown eyes. Smiles.
Descending: he looks up from his phone, sees blue eyes. Smiles.
Ascending: she gets to the top, turns and looks down.
Descending: he gets to the bottom, turns and looks up.
On terra firma…
Briefly she hesitates, but then her phone pings and reclaims her attention.
He contemplates going back up, but he’s worried he won’t know what to say.

Second place (winning free access to two of my online creative writing courses (currently worth £40 / $40) or a free edit and critique of up to 1,500 words (worth £11 / $14):

Anne-Marie Latter with ‘Success’

Roll up! Roll up! Take a trip on the escalator of life!
That’s it, madam, step on at the bottom and hold hands with Davie, your perfect partner. Well, maybe not perfect, but you’re almost thirty and he will have to do.
Keep moving upwards because you have a wedding to organise and children to produce!
Now it’s time to sign these mortgage papers, don’t be shy! That house is all yours, as long as you keep paying the bank every month.
Throw your acting dreams over the side! You won’t be needing those anymore; dreams don’t pay the bills.

Third place (winning free access to one of my online creative writing courses (currently worth £20 / $20) or a free edit and critique of up to 1,000 words (worth £7 / $9):

David Giles with ‘Harsh Lesson in Mortality’

Escalators used to terrify me. I was convinced that, should I make the slightest false move, I was liable to be sucked into the mechanism, dragged into some sinister underworld, and I would never get out again. One day I fashioned a little man out of a drinking straw and stuck him between the grooves, watching him disappear into nothingness. Where has he gone? I asked Mum.
To heaven, I expect, she replied.
When we went back down later, I saw him on the floor, all dirty and twisted, being swept into a dustpan. So much for salvation, thought I.

Highly commended (winning my Entering Writing Competitionscourse worth £20 / $20) or a free edit and critique of up to 1,000 words (worth £7 / $9) – in alphabetical order:

Alan Barker with ‘Down the Up Escalator’
Ez Baril with ‘A Swift Kill’
Lesley McLean with ‘The Mean Machine’
Paul Mastaglio with ‘Read Between The Lines’

Honourable mentions (not winning anything but only narrowly missing out and still looking good on their CV) – in alphabetical order:

Darren York with ‘The Chicken and the Fox Paradox’
Valerie Fish with ‘Passing Strangers?’

Congratulations, everyone. The entries for this month are already drifting in. Remember, you can send up to three per month so rather than miss out on a chance by sending one story, do submit more.