Results of Morgen’s 100-word competition: December 2020

January 18, 2021January 18, 2021Leave a comment

Hello everyone and welcome to the sixty-fourth month of this competition. There were 51 entries from 25 authors for the theme of ‘the winter summer holiday’. NB You can all send in three stories for a better chance of being picked.

One was disqualified for being way over the 100 words (the author did leave a comment to admit to getting carried away). 🙂 Another was 98 words because four words should have been connected (get / together – as a noun, and ‘grand child’). Ditto another story for ‘grand kids’ and ‘Coke a Cola’ (instead of Coca-Cola, which is one word instead of three). And another because there were two sets of detached ellipses. Punctuation alone doesn’t count as a word. Fortunately the author submitted two other stories so they went through.

One of another author’s stories was disqualified for having ‘a snow’. Like money, snow is a collective noun so it should have been ‘snow’ on its own, making the story 99 words, or ‘a snowfall’ which would have been fine. Sadly it was my favourite story of the three so my second favourite went through to judging. Another story had ‘trees are laden with fruit hang upon branches’ – the same (collective noun) applies here and in the context ‘hanging’ (or hung) would have been the preferred (imho) choice, although my editor’s head would have chopped the ‘hang upon branches’ because we have the context (sorry, author!). There was also an apostrophe missing from ‘keeping ones spirit’ (one’s) alive. A lovely story though.

One story had a non-hyphenated title but this isn’t included in the word count so it was fine. Another had ‘it was really was’ so removing one of the ‘was’s took it down to 99. Fortunately the author had sent two other stories so they went through. Another lost a brownie point for having ‘whist’ instead of ‘whilst’. A spell checker wouldn’t pick it out because ‘whist’ is a word in itself but when I listened to the stories, on my Kindle Fire’s text-to-speech function, I spotted the error.

Other story missed out on a top-three slot by switching, in error, between past then present then back to past tense. Another from present tense to past tense (when it’s all one scene with no reflection). It’s easily done but it’s a shame.

Some stories that missed out on a place were the only entries by their authors. It’s always worth sending the maximum of three. It can’t guarantee a place but one of the stories would likely have a better chance than the other two.

Other observations:

like compass points (north, south, east, west), seasons (spring, summer, autumn, winter/fall) aren’t capitalised unless part of a name, e.g. The Winter House bar. That said, the story that concentrated on these, used them as names so it’s fine. Although it was a strong story, the author’s second story made me chuckle – always a good sign – so that went through.
adverbs (and nouns) should be used after the verb, e.g. ‘to go boldly’ rather than ‘to boldly go’ but there are exceptions such as a connected object: Tom put the pen down on the table. If something sounds better with the verb split (a split infinitive) then go with the more natural sounding.
where the dialogue tag (he said) follows on from what is said there should be a comma before the speech marks / inverted commas then small ‘h’ for ‘he said’ or ‘s’ for ‘she said’ or equivalent. There still wouldn’t be capitals, unless for a name, after a question or exclamation mark. And it’s fine to use exclamation marks when someone’s yelling / shouting (then you’d often not need the ‘he / she yelled / shouted’), but just one ! 🙂
where the speech has an unrelated dialogue tag, e.g. someone laughing, moving, smiling, waving etc. (with it capitalised: He laughed. She picked up the mug.’ etc.) the punctuation should be a full stop rather than a comma. Had it been related description, it would be a comma.
when talking to someone, we don’t often say each other’s names (and avoid too many endearments). Although dialogue doesn’t strictly reflect real speech, it should feel realistic and especially where you only have two characters in a scene and it’s been established who’s saying what, you can cut down on (or out) the name calling. Also rather than ‘Tom said’, have Tom pick up a mug or equivalent so the description, in the same paragraph as what he says, tells us it’s him speaking.
‘all’, ‘now’, ‘very’ and ‘just’ are often overused so I recommend, especially in a longer piece, seeing how many you have and chopping where possible. One story had two ‘just’s in consecutive sentences. They stand out to me more than most readers but less is more, especially in something this short.
titles (and headings) don’t have full stops unless there’s more than one sentence.
although grammatically correct, I recommend you don’t put commas between adjectives, and certainly not immediately before the noun / object. It slows the pace… really slows it where there are several and anything that slows what should be a fast-paced page-turning read is best avoided.
where an action has ‘starts to’ / ‘started to’ or ‘begins to’ / ‘began to’ before it, most of the time they’re not needed because unless the action is interrupted, the verb alone works better / is stronger. An example would be ‘the phone began to ring’. If it stops without being answered then that’s fine (although it still rang!) but if not then have ‘the phone rang’.
I’m a stickler for unintended repetition. One story had a ‘rushing’ then ‘rush’. Another had four ‘all’s. I spot some early but other repetition leaps out when I listen to the document, alongside reading it on the screen. I recommend having some way of having something (or someone) else reading your story as you may well spot something you’d not picked up on the first (or second… third) time round.
numbers under 100 are best written in full so they blend with the rest of the text (especially where they are 1^st and the likes, as eReaders tend not to like superscript) so I’ve amended the ones that are. That said, I think all numbers unless titles (BMW Series 5) etc. are best written in full. For info., decades are plural so no apostrophe required.
where something is plural (a family name in this case) rather than possessive, e.g. the Smiths rather than something belonging to the Smith family, no apostrophe is required.
it’s is a shortening for ‘it is’ – often used before a verb or description (e.g. it’s happening whether you like it or not / it’s brown not black) whereas ‘its’ is possessive – something belonging to something or someone, so usually before a noun (e.g. the dog was curled in its basket). Note: I’ve said ‘curled’ rather than ‘curled up’ because we know what curled means. You can often lose the ‘up’ or ‘down’ with a motion, e.g. he stood up, she sat down It’s only trimming a word but they add up(!) over the length of a novel.
when writing past tense narration, ago is present tense so ‘two years ago’ wouldn’t be two years ago but two years earlier / before. Ditto tomorrow isn’t tomorrow (today isn’t today etc.). Tomorrow is the next day / the day after, today is that day, yesterday is the day before / a day earlier, tonight is that evening / night etc. Dialogue is present tense so they’re fine in speech. This is present-tense narration so it’s fine as it is but worth mentioning.

The winning stories are ones that I reacted most favourably to (especially this month as ‘Richard’ was a long-deceased cat in one and non-deceased husband in another). They were clever, surprising, eek-making (in a good way), or gave me a warm fuzzy feeling (without being sickly). Sometimes a story beats another because it has a stronger link to the theme so it’s worth writing a story to the theme rather than tweaking a story you already have to loosely fit it. Alternatively there may have been several stories on with same topic so I chose my favourite of those. With any competition, much rests upon the judge’s preference and it’s usually ones than garner a stronger (positive) reaction that do the best.

You may have chosen a different order or indeed not placed one or more of them so if you entered and didn’t find your story / stories here, don’t lose heart. You probably only just missed out so do enter new stories this month*, next month, whenever you like (but not in advance!). It’s an ongoing competition and free, so you could win at any time. There were new and familiar names this month so anyone could win… it’s all dependent upon whether your story grabs me, for whatever reason (whether it be clever, funny, unusual, quirky, or sweet).

Apart from the top three and highly commended, there are some ‘Honourable Mentions’. They don’t win anything but they were so close to being Highly Commended that I wanted them to know how close they came. It’s still something for them to put on their CVs.

*The theme for January is ‘Before the shot was fired… (as a sentence start)’ and you can submit your entries (and do send three) at any time up to midnight (UK time) on Sunday 31st January. Details and entry forms on https://morgenbailey.wordpress.com/100-word-free-monthly-competition. So without further ado, below are the successful entries this month.

Join first place (each winning free access to three of my online creative writing courses (currently worth £60 / $60) or a free edit and critique of up to 2,000 words (worth £30 / $42):

Christopher Tattersall with ‘Season’s Greetings’

Behind the glass it was cold enough for snow, yet outside the sun shone bright.

He wore his warm coat with white fur lapels as he watched her outside enjoying the summer vacation.

He revelled in her joy, watching her splash in the paddling pool. As she played and her family made the most of summer, he travelled the globe, killing time until he was required again.

As the year progressed, their ambient temperatures slowly converged. Soon snow would fall from their skies again.

She replaced the ornament, watching in awe as the snow settled in his dome of glass.

Darren York with ‘Who Stole the Summer?’

I took it as it was poking its head above the horizon, bright orange beginning to fill every living thing. The previous year had been a miserable one, rain taking the place of the sun’s rays. Winter followed, giving us another season without the sun. So, in desperation, I’d bundled it into the back of my car, driven home and locked it in my garden shed. I waited until Christmas day to release its golden rays, making it the hottest Christmas in my house ever recorded. To this very day the sun’s still missing, but I know where it is.

Joint second place (each winning free access to two of my online creative writing courses (currently worth £40 / $40) or a free edit and critique of up to 1,500 words (worth £22.50 / $31.50):

E. E. Rhodes with ‘The Dream Trip’

Let’s pretend we went on our summer holiday and you got to wear your brand new dress.

Let’s pretend there was unremitting sunshine and we paddled happily in a welcoming sea.

Let’s pretend we got sand in all our creases when we rolled together on the salt-stretched beach.

Let’s pretend the weather was delightful and we remembered to send all our busy postcards.

Let’s pretend we had the most amazing time and there were no tiers.

Let’s pretend I didn’t cry all through December, aching for the warmth of you.

Let’s pretend we could still go.

Let’s pretend we went.

Jane Brown with ‘A Full House’

“Beach!” the Queen of Hearts demanded. “I want to show off my new bikini.”

“Come on, Queenie,” both the black Jacks said. “We all agreed our next holiday would be to the snow.”

The Queen pouted. “I refuse to go. All that cold air does nothing for my pores.”

The King of Diamonds groaned and put his head in his hands.

That night, all the cards (minus one) got together for a secret meeting.

The next day, they frolicked in a winter wonderland after one card took an unexpected trip down a pipe.

It’s hard to beat a straight flush.

Third place (winning free access to one of my online creative writing courses (currently worth £20 / $20) or a free edit and critique of up to 1,000 words (worth £15 / $21):

Sue Massey with ‘Winter Sunshine’

The volume of work makes it impossible to take a holiday in summer. Green Team sorts mail. Red Team builds bespoke creations. EffCee is in charge. Parcels and packages loaded sky high, he harnesses Pulling Team. They fly into the cold night sky full of twinkling constellations and bright planets. “Phew, last drop,” EffCee mutters. Thomas pops his sleepy head over the duvet. “Thank you, Father Christmas. See you next year.”

Exhausted, EffCee smiles. He steers Pulling Team back to base to pick up the others. They head off in search of winter sunshine for a well-earned and long-overdue holiday.

Highly commended (winning my Entering Writing Competitions course worth £20 / $20) or a free edit and critique of up to 1,000 words (worth £15 / $21) – in alphabetical order:

Bob Cairns with ‘Santa’s Sudden Summer’
Kirtan Savith Kumar with ‘A Seaside Picnic’
Kyle Barratt with ‘What’s in a Name’
Linda Hibbin with ‘Heart-warming Memories’
Sarah Robin with ‘The Escape’

Honourable mentions (not winning anything but only narrowly missing out and still looking good on their CV) – in alphabetical order:

CJ Nicol with ‘Christmas Day, 2120’
Laura Besley with ‘Dream Holiday’
Stef Smulders with ‘Sloth’
Yvonne Mastaglio with ‘Back on the Mountain’

Congratulations, everyone. The entries for this month are already drifting in. Remember, you can send up to three per month so rather than miss out on a chance by sending one story, do submit more.

If you’ve enjoyed these stories and / or just want to leave a comment, please do so below and / or you can email me at morgen@morgenbailey.com., although I won’t (can’t) discuss forthcoming entries unless it’s a general query.

Results of Morgen’s 100-word competition: November 2020

December 13, 2020Leave a comment

Hello everyone and welcome to the sixty-third month of this competition. There were 47 entries from 24 authors for the theme of ‘silence isn’t quite golden’.

And boy, a really strong month this time. There were several stories of loss so in another month they may well have been placed differently had there not been so many. The ones I chose were, to me, the more powerful ones. For me to read a story and go ‘wow’, that’s a very good sign.

When I receive the stories I copy/paste them into a Word document then read them in batches, placing them roughly where I think they may end up. It’s rare for me to have less than two winners, seconds, thirds, several highly commended and honourable mentions. I’m writing this at the point of my final whittling and I have three firsts, three seconds, four thirds, four highly commended and four honourable mentions. The latter, sadly, will have to go and the others staggered. I email them to my Kindle more than once as I rejig the order until I’m happy with the selection. It invariably means that some great stories are cut that may have been placed in other months and it’s especially true this time.

These are the ones that didn’t make even the first round…

One was disqualified for only being 98 words. The title was three words so even if included would have been 101.
A story lost a point for ‘creaked opened’ rather than ‘creaked open’ – a simple error. This sometimes happen with last-minute entries but it wasn’t the case this time. It didn’t affect the word count so it went through but was placed lower than it would have been without the error, and dropped off the list, which is a shame, especially as it was that author’s only entry – why it’s always worth sending three.
Another lost a brownie point for ‘laying’ (placing something) instead of ‘lying’ (being horizontal). To lie is ‘I lay’ in simple past tense but in present tense, people lie, chickens lay. If you are putting down an object, you lay it down. If you are having a rest, you lie on the sofa. In past perfect, it would be ‘lain’ (people), ‘laid’ (object). http://www.quickanddirtytips.com/education/grammar/lay-versus-lie.
A great story had an ‘of’ missing (little bit plain fun) so would have been 101 and therefore had to be disqualified, another shame as it was a solo entry and a great story. Another, again a solo entry, was disqualified for having a word too many (before they were commanded them to stop) – the ‘were’ or ‘them’ should have been removed, making it 99 words. 😦
One was disqualified for incorrect word count for having unhyphenated ‘eight month old dogs’. Where an age precedes a noun, it should be hyphenated. When we have someone’s age following, e.g. ‘Tom was ten’, we wouldn’t need the ‘years old’ or ‘years of age’ because the number – within the right context – is sufficient. There would also only be a hyphen if preceding an implied noun, e.g. the fourteen-year-old (shortened from ‘the fourteen-year-old girl’). Had there been a non-exact name using ‘something’ (or similar), The ‘something’ represents an unknown number so it would all still be hyphenated as the likes of ‘twenty-two-year-old nurse’ would have been.
Another, unfortunately from the same author, was disqualified for having two ‘to’s together, reducing the story to 99 words by removing one.

Other observations:

where a word is a generic noun rather than a name (e.g. ‘the doctor’ vs Doctor Smith – ‘a goddess’ in this case) there should be a small first letter.
when referring to family, mum/mom and dad should be capitalised when used as a name, e.g. “I know, Mum/Mom.” When used as a ‘job’, e.g. my mum/mom, my dad, my doctor etc. then it should be a small m, d etc. NB. There’s a comma before ‘Mum/Mom’ here because when you’re writing someone’s name – and a nickname or term of endearment counts as a name – when another character is speaking to them, you’d need a comma before the name, i.e. ‘Do you know John?’ is asking if the person knows someone called John. ‘Do you know, John?’ means that the character is speaking to someone called John but asking them if they know something. A subtle difference but you want to avoid confusing the reader so they jump out of the story.
in my writing I add commas where a reader would breathe if reading the piece aloud, which I always recommend the author do too, especially where a scene feels flat or you think it doesn’t work for whatever reason. Tip: although grammatically correct, I recommend that you don’t put commas between adjectives, and certainly not immediately before the noun / object. It slows the pace… really slows it where there are several and anything that slows what should be a fast-paced page-turning read is best avoided.
careful of too many adverbs, especially in short pieces like these (one had four). Where dialogue shows us how something’s said then we don’t need an adverb with the verb, or replace the whole thing with a stronger verb (e.g. ‘Get out!’ he snapped… rather than …he said angrily).
there weren’t too many clichés this time. Even something as simple as sitting ‘bolt upright’ is a bit of a cliché so best avoided. No points lost but definitely worth choosing something original.

The winning stories are ones that I reacted most favourably to (despite the two ‘was’s in the first sentence of one of them). They were clever, surprising, eek-making (in a good way), or gave me a warm fuzzy feeling (without being sickly). Sometimes a story beats another because it has a stronger link to the theme so it’s worth writing a story to the theme rather than tweaking a story you already have to loosely fit it. Alternatively there may have been several stories on with same topic so I chose my favourite of those. With any competition, much rests upon the judge’s preference and it’s usually ones than garner a stronger (positive) reaction that do the best.

*The theme for December is ‘the winter summer holiday’ and you can submit your entries (and do send three) at any time up to midnight (UK time) on Thursday 31st December. Details and entry forms on https://morgenbailey.wordpress.com/100-word-free-monthly-competition. So without further ado, below are the successful entries this month.

Joint first place (each winning free access to three of my online creative writing courses (currently worth £60 / $60) or a free edit and critique of up to 2,000 words (worth £30 / $42):

Douglas Goodrich with ‘The Lost Oscar’

She always sits in the same seat every day, looking out at the large oak tree, outside the recreation room’s bay window. Gorgeous in her old age.

Margarette Felton is how she was known in Hollywood. Daisy Hinkler is how she grew up in Paris, Texas. Before the spoken words on screen, she was a goddess. Commanding a thousand dollars a week when others worked in sweatshops for a quarter of the salary.

But the elusive Oscar is what haunts her still today. She never won the gold. If only she’d have transitioned to the talkies, but silently she mourns.

Stef Smulders with ‘Animal Love’

When I bought the house, I hadn’t noticed next door’s dogs, five ferocious Rottweilers locked up in a tiny back garden.

Now their fights and endless waves of roars keep me awake at night.

“I’m afraid to approach them myself,” my neighbor said with a weird smile. Two sleeve tattoos covered his arms.

Then, one night, all is silent. A miracle! I go outside, curious to know why. Near the fence, I hear smacking noises. The dogs are eating.

The ‘I Love Dogs’ tattoo lighting up in the beam of my lantern tells me more than I want to know.

Joint second place (each winning free access to two of my online creative writing courses (currently worth £40 / $40) or a free edit and critique of up to 1,500 words (worth £22.50 / $31.50):

Anne Maguire with ‘New Start’

Jean was my new neighbour and was very chatty. “It’s lovely and quiet here, you’ll not be bothered by noisy kids or music.”

I wanted to tell her how I missed the sound of kids, of Sally playing her flute – really badly – and me smiling proudly. How I missed her incessant chatter about life at eight and all its intricacies. How I missed her shouting about how awful a mum I was.

Alex says I’ve not to keep bringing it up. This is a new start, he says. They don’t need to keep hearing about a dead child, he says.

Paul Mastaglio with ‘A Christmas Break’

Captain Ben Johnson made his way carefully along the trench. Where was everybody? Carelessly discarded mess tins littered the dusty floor while a helmet sat abandoned next to sandbags. There were no hushed conversations as cigarettes were rolled. No scraping sounds as weapons were cleaned. Nothing moved.

His reverie was broken by the sound of loud cheering coming from above. Ben hastily climbed a ladder and looked across no man’s land. British and German soldiers were chasing each other as they competed for possession of an old leather football. A smile creased his lips. Why couldn’t Christmas Day last forever?

Joint third place (each winning free access to one of my online creative writing courses (currently worth £20 / $20) or a free edit and critique of up to 1,000 words (worth £15 / $21):

Jane Brown with ‘To Boldly Go’

‘Why did you become an astronaut?’ the reporter asked.

‘To explore new places and stick flags on planets,’ I replied grinning.

I lied. I wanted to get away from Mother. The constant phone calls and visits had become unbearable. Even moving to a different country hadn’t helped. Funnily enough, she had been silent recently, ever since I’d told her I was leaving Earth.

I gazed into the blackness as an unexpected rocket approached my ship.

‘Surprise!’ Mother’s voice crackled over the comms. ‘I become an astronaut too! Isn’t it going to be fun up here? Just the two of us.’

Julian Cadman with ‘Silence Speaks Volumes’

Silence isn’t quite golden, when awaiting her call after giving out your number.

Silence isn’t quite golden, after you’ve told her parents what you do for a living.

Silence isn’t quite golden, when you’ve just proposed.

Silence isn’t quite golden, after your best man’s told what he thought was an acceptable anecdote during his speech.

Silence isn’t quite golden, when you wake up and realise you’ve forgotten to switch on the baby monitor.

Silence isn’t quite golden, after you’ve asked the consultant if it’s curable.

Silence isn’t quite golden, when stepping through the front door alone for the first time.

Highly commended (winning my Entering Writing Competitions course worth £20 / $20) or a free edit and critique of up to 1,000 words (worth £15 / $21) – in alphabetical order:

Bob Cairns with‘A Prayer Falls on Deaf Ears’
Cath Barton with‘The Angelic Glow’
Joyce Bingham with‘When Will You Leave, When Will You Tell?’
Katie Jones with‘The Silent Partner’

Honourable mentions (not winning anything but only narrowly missing out and still looking good on their CV) – in alphabetical order:

Alan Barker with‘Oh Dear, What Can The Matter Be?’
Carol Allison with‘The Commuters’
Darren York with‘Noose’
Michael Harries with‘Cwtch’

Congratulations, everyone. The entries for this month are already drifting in. Remember, you can send up to three per month so rather than miss out on a chance by sending one story, do submit more.

Results of Morgen’s 100-word competition: October 2020

November 1, 2020Leave a comment

Hello everyone and welcome to the sixty-second month of this competition. There were 52 entries from 25 authors for the theme of ‘creep’. NB You can all send in three stories for a better chance of being picked. Not an easy month to whittle down to the successful stories.

One was disqualified for only being 99 words. Another, from the same entrant, started as 99 but had ‘over turned’ as two words rather than one so it went down to 98 words. Fortunately the author’s third story was 100 words so that went through. A similar thing happened for another author (‘work load’ instead of ‘workload’ https://www.lexico.com/definition/workload) but one of the other stories was my favourite of the three so it wasn’t a problem.

Another ended being 99 words as there was an adjective (now-former) before a noun so it ‘lost’ a word. Another, from a regular entrant, was disqualified as there was a hyphenated word (battle-cry) that, sadly, shouldn’t have been hyphenated: https://www.lexico.com/definition/battle_cry. So separating them made it 101 words. It’s a shame as it was a great story but I have to be fair to everyone to amend any ‘errors’. Another of the same author’s stories had a word (‘her’) too many so removing that made it 99 words, so also disqualified. A different author had a story disqualified for ‘entry way’ which is (https://www.lexico.com/en/definition/entryway). Both of these examples are the same in UK and US English so no allowance for nationality unfortunately.

One 99-word story (from a regular entrant) had a hyphenated word so perhaps it was counted as two.

One story had a title that should have been hyphenated (One-way) but the title’s not included in the word count so it’s fine. Another (different author) had an adjective (‘white knuckle’ ride) that should have been hyphenated (because it’s not a white ride) so the 100-word story dropped down to 99 and was therefore, sadly, disqualified.

Another author submitted four entries but the third and fourth appeared to be the same. The first version of the story is the one accepted so I ignored the second.

One story had two standalone hyphens in the story which (and it’s in the rules) don’t count as words. As – hyphens, rather than (correctly) – dashes, Word does actually count them as words so sadly it only came to 98 words. Fortunately the author had submitted the maximum of three so the other two went through.

I was torn between two stories from an author and marginally preferred the one I deferred (more polite than ‘shelved’) but the title gave away the ending so an easy choice in the end.

Other observations:

when speaking to someone and using a name, nickname or term of endearment (which counts as a name), you’d need a comma before the name, i.e. ‘Do you know John?’ is asking if the person knows someone called John. ‘Do you know, John?’ means that the character is speaking to someone called John but asking them if they know something. A subtle difference but you want to avoid confusing the reader so they jump out of the story.
we mumble / mutter / whisper under our breath so wouldn’t need ‘under my / his / her breath’.
although grammatically correct, I recommend you don’t put commas between adjectives, and certainly not immediately before the noun / object. It slows the pace… really slows it where there are several and anything that slows what should be a fast-paced page-turning read is best avoided.
like ‘erm’, we do say ‘well’ as a dialogue pause but it’s best not to include it in our writing, or at the most have it as a characteristic for one of the characters. Ditto ‘look’.
there were the occasional ‘creep slowly’ (and ‘slowly creep’ which is a split infinitive’). By default, ‘creep’ implies a slowness so the adverb can go. 🙂
there was a story with two characters whose names started with the same letter. They were different in gender and length (Amy/Andrew) and it’s such a short story that there couldn’t be any confusion but I recommend using as few duplicated letters as possible. I use a table to keep track and you can find one for novels at https://morgenbailey.files.wordpress.com/2020/10/1c-names-table-novels.doc and short stories at https://morgenbailey.files.wordpress.com/2020/10/1c-names-table-stories.doc. Whether you’re editing something you’ve already written or starting a new piece, it’s worth using something like this to ensure originality, even for instance if it’s avoiding having a character called Katherine when you’ve got a church called St Katherine. (Note: no full stop after the ‘St’. The same goes with Mr, Mrs, Dr etc. They’re more common in the US but I recommend not having full stops after these shortenings to avoid any readers thinking they’ve come to the end of the sentence.)
where an action has ‘starts to’ / ‘started to’ or ‘begins to’ / ‘began to’ before it, most of the time they’re not needed because unless the action is interrupted, the verb alone works better / is stronger. An example would be ‘the phone began to ring’. If it stops without being answered then that’s fine (although it still rang!) but if not then just have ‘the phone rang’.
although ‘rooted to the spot’, ‘frozen on the spot’ (or similar) is a cliché it won’t count against you but clichés are best avoided. http://www.be-a-better-writer.com/cliches.html is a great list of 681 clichés to avoid.
there were some stories with some fabulous onomatopoeic words and ‘active’ verbs (crash, plunge, rumble, races, howls, shrieks). Look at your verbs and see how they can be more vivid.
‘police’ is a generic noun unless forming part of a title, e.g. ‘West Midlands Police’. Like group, money, company, couple, family etc., is a single entity should be a single verb (e.g. ‘was’ rather than ‘were’). That said, it depends on how natural it sounds.
it’s always best to ‘show’ us how a character is feeling rather than telling us. Instead of saying s/he’s infuriated, have her/him do something like growl or say something that ‘shows’ us.
numbers under 100 are best written in full so they blend with the rest of the text (especially where they are 1^st, and the likes, as eReaders tend not to like ^superscript) so I’ve amended the ones that are. That said, I think all numbers unless titles (BMW Series 5) etc. are best written in full.

The winning stories are ones that I reacted most favourably to. They were clever, surprising, eek-making (in a good way), or gave me a warm fuzzy feeling (without being sickly). Sometimes a story beats another because it has a stronger link to the theme so it’s worth writing a story to the theme rather than tweaking a story you already have to loosely fit it. Alternatively there may have been several stories on with same topic so I chose my favourite of those. With any competition, much rests upon the judge’s preference and it’s usually ones than garner a stronger (positive) reaction that do the best.

*The theme for November is ‘silence isn’t quite golden’ and you can submit your entries (and do send three) at any time up to midnight (UK time) on Monday 30th November. Details and entry forms on https://morgenbailey.wordpress.com/100-word-free-monthly-competition. So without further ado, below are the successful entries this month.

First place (winning free access to three of my online creative writing courses (currently worth £60 / $60) or a free edit and critique of up to 2,000 words (worth £30 / $42):

Stef Smulders with ‘Attic’

There’s a madman in the attic. At night, his shuffling keeps me awake. I wait for the stairs to creak but nobody descends.

By day I sit at my desk and rock my body, fighting the anxiety that’s creeping up on me.

One night, I listen behind the bedroom door. Silence. I exit and climb the stairs. At the top, my head at floor level, I stop to look around. Minutes pass.

There’s nobody there.

Feeling safe, I enter and crawl into a corner.

There’s a madman in the attic. At night he shuffles around.

But there’s nobody listening downstairs.

Joint second place (each winning free access to two of my online creative writing courses (currently worth £40 / $40) or a free edit and critique of up to 1,500 words (worth £22.50 / $31.50):

Anne Maguire with ‘Project Creep’

I’d heard the term several times in the meeting.

At a break I asked Andy and he said “project creep” was when a project got out of control via lots of little blips rather than a big mistake.

He said, like when your rug creeps four inches nearer the telly rather than moving into the dining room.

I thought about life. I’d expected to be married to a man and with kids by the time I was thirty but here I was less than that, married to a woman who was pregnant – my rug was definitely in the dining room.

Jane Broughton with ‘The Name of the Game’

I’m a creeper. I creep up walls and around windows. I’m tenacious and can adapt to any surface. I use the smallest chinks in mortar to anchor myself to a building. I dig in and then up I go, steadily and stealthily. I probe as I ascend; seeking out open windows, loose frames, gaps in roof tiles, any opportunity for access. Once I spot my chance I exploit it mercilessly. You won’t know your house has been cracked by the creeper. Not until you remark on the small absences, a wallet here, a necklace there. The name is my game.

Third place (winning free access to one of my online creative writing courses (currently worth £20 / $20) or a free edit and critique of up to 1,000 words (worth £15 / $21):

Joyce Bingham with ‘The Dead are Watching’

As she approaches, the smell of the cemetery, damp soil, leaf mould, and worm casts is replaced with the iron hint of blood, the stench of rotten soul.

Her transparent dull aura reveals her vices, her nature.

I can feel my fellow residents moan and writhe, some in pain, others in pleasure. She is a creep, a troll, carrying, with delight and glee, photographs which will destroy a life.

She cuts across my plot, I will the ivy to trip her, the device cracks as it hits my headstone. I send a pestiferous breath across its surface, the electronics fry.

Highly commended (winning my Entering Writing Competitions course worth £20 / $20) or a free edit and critique of up to 1,000 words (worth £15 / $21) – in alphabetical order:

Lesley McLean with ‘Annelida’
Sarah Robin with ‘Another Stormy Sunday Afternoon’
Scott Rhodie with ‘Not the Life of Riley’
Sue Massey with ‘The Hole’
Valerie Fish with ‘Douglas’

Honourable mentions (not winning anything but only narrowly missing out and still looking good on their CV) – in alphabetical order:

Anne-Marie Chaplin with ‘In The Wild’
Douglas Goodrich with ‘Cheers!’
Liz Aiken with ‘The Dance of Life’
Patricia Cooksley with ‘Cowboys and Indians’
Paul Mastaglio with ‘The Perfect Shot’

Congratulations, everyone. The entries for this month are already drifting in. Remember, you can send up to three per month so rather than miss out on a chance by sending one story, do submit more.

Sunday short short story: Not The Wisest Of Actions by Morgen Bailey

November 1, 2020October 27, 2020Leave a comment

Posted every Sunday up to today (this will be the last one for a while), the following piece of flash fiction is from Morgen’s shorter short story collection, FLASHES. We hope you enjoy this final story…

Not The Wisest Of Actions

You had no way of knowing that the toothbrush was going to find you a husband. You used it to clean your dog’s teeth but when the doctor asked how it got stuck in your ear, you had no real explanation. You’d had an itch.

It was Doug’s eyes that you noticed first; deep brown, almost black, with long, dark eyelashes and a smile… such a contrast, teeth like a photograph model’s. You would have liked him to be taller but an inch was better than same height. Your high heels could languish at the back of the wardrobe in favour of kitten, they were back in fashion anyway.

By the end of the appointment you’d arranged a date – him too shy to ask, so you had… after checking his office for family photos and his hand for a wedding ring.

A year after you were married, you’d started feeling sick, put it down to a summer cold but he recognised the symptoms and brought home a test kit. You swelled like a balloon and missed your horse, but Doug had been cautious, insisted that you take a break, so you’d agreed, on the condition that he took lessons.

And as you watched him trot round the field on Bracken, you’d fallen in love with him all over again, seen the look he’d given you that first meeting, and knew that whilst sticking a toothbrush in your ear may not have been the wisest of actions, you’d do it all over again.

###

Sunday short short story: Rumbled by Morgen Bailey

October 25, 2020July 5, 2020Leave a comment

Posted every Sunday, the following piece of flash fiction is from Morgen’s shorter short story collection, FLASHES, available in e-book from Morgen’s online store where you not only get the best price but can either instantly download the collection or purchase the paperback dedicated to you or as a present! We hope you enjoy this story…

Rumbled

“Frankie!”

“What?”

“There’s someone downstairs.”

“Mmm?”

“Frankie, downstairs! I heard something.”

“Are you sure?”

“Of course I’m sure. I heard a loud noise, like a window breaking.”

“OK, stay there. I’ll go and have a look.”

“Shall I call the police?”

“Wait until we know for sure.”

“But what if…”

“It’s probably nothing.”

“Anyone…? Hello? Who’s there?”

“Hello Frankie. Sorry, did I startle you.”

“Gran? What you are doing down here?”

“I was thirsty.”

“Then why are you…? What’s that noise? Is there someone else here?”

“Er, it’s…”

“Gran, spill.”

“OK. Ernest. You can come out now. We’ve been rumbled.”

###

Sunday short short story: Doing A Job I Love by Morgen Bailey

October 18, 2020July 5, 2020Leave a comment

Posted every Sunday, the following piece of flash fiction is from Morgen’s shorter short story collection, SHORTS, available in e-book from Morgen’s online store where you not only get the best price but can either instantly download the collection or purchase the paperback dedicated to you or as a present! We hope you enjoy this story…

Doing A Job I Love

It had felt a little odd. Being given something like this for doing a job I love. And you couldn’t really call it that. Playing in a band a job? To receive an award for playing the drums was an added bonus. I’d been given a single drum, just a cheap thing, when I was very young, my mum says two, but I think I was younger than that because I don’t remember getting it, just it being there.

When my name was announced I hadn’t been expecting it so it took Bondie digging me in the ribs for me to realise that they’d said my name. He’s stronger than he thinks. I was rubbing my ribs for weeks after that.

I think he’d been on something; weed, blow, or some such. He was always more rock ‘n’ roll than me. It hadn’t been an issue until that night, when he’d insisted on joining me on the stage. He could play the drums and had never received an award so I thought, “What’s the harm?”

If only he’d stuck to the rules; walked up the aisle, to the podium, said ‘thank you’ to the celebrity who hands you the statue (in our case it was the teen pop sensation Jimmy Penn) but his brain just couldn’t compute that. I don’t think it computes anything these days.

He had to go up there didn’t he and dig, dig, dig. OK, so we’re not a fan of the weak pop music that climbs the charts faster than we ever did in our heyday, but he’s still sore that Jimmy beat us to the top of the album chart when we released our Greatest Hits. A term I use loosely as the record company in their limited wisdom to make it a double CD when we’d only had half a dozen ‘hits’ (top forty) so the rest were more fillers than a tub of sandwich spread. That’s one thing I hadn’t noticed; that he’d not been eating, Bondie, just drinking, picking at his food, fork never reaching his mouth, although it’s big enough.

So there I was, mouth open to say a few unrehearsed words and ended up goldfish-like while Bondie spouted.

Bondie’s real name’s James… Bond, but he hates that. His mum was a real fan and we all reckon that she married a Bond just so she could have a son with the right name. Had the boy straight away, stroke of luck really, then the two of them left when he was still young. Probably why he is the way he is. Needed a father figure to straighten him out.

Anyway. He’d said his bit and I thought we were going to leave… he’d said plenty for both of us, what was I going to do, apologise? Pretend it didn’t happen? But then Jimmy called him by his real name, don’t know how he knew, Wikipedia I suppose, and well, Bondie flipped and went for the jugular, Jimmy’s jugular. Did enough so the damage was done. Only temporary, thankfully, but he had to cancel his tour. Bondie received so many “thank you” letters after we could have wallpapered our bus… the one we toured on not long after the awards ceremony.

###

Results of Morgen’s 100-word competition: September 2020

October 11, 20201 Comment

Hello everyone and welcome to the sixty-first month of this competition. There were 53 entries from 22 authors for the theme of ‘the swimming pool’, a popular one this month. And as you’ll see more successful entries. (You’d think I’m feeling particularly generous but actually just less able to lose some great stories!)

One was disqualified for having an ‘any more’ (quantity) where it should have been ‘anymore’ (time). I have to be fair to everyone… sorry! It was the only entry from that author so they were disqualified*. What a shame. Another was disqualified for having ‘into’ twice which, removing one would have made it 99 words. Fortunately the author had submitted two other stories. NB You can all send in three stories for a better chance of being picked.

All three stories from one (regular) author were disqualified for being 97, 98 and only 81 words which was a shame. Another story, the only one by that author, was only 95 words. I can’t stress how important it is to ensure your story is the correct word count. They’re only 100 words long so you can do it manually or copy/paste onto something like www.wordcounter.net.

One story had full stops as ellipses (i.e. . . . instead of …) but fortunately the author hadn’t counted these as words and the story was 100 spot on. Another also had an ‘any more’ that should have been ‘anymore’ affected the word count (thankfully it wasn’t my favourite of the three submitted). ‘anymore’ is time whereas ‘any more’ is quantity so the latter is correct here. The easy(ish) way to remember is that quantity is usually followed by a noun, e.g. ‘Do you have any more cake?’ And anymore often appears at the end of a sentence, e.g. ‘I don’t want this anymore.’

One solo entry was unfortunately disqualified for having a hyphenated word that shouldn’t have been. Had the words been before the noun then it should have been. An example is: ‘the doctor on call’ vs ‘the on-call doctor’. https://www.lexico.com/definition/on_callprovides other examples. Tricky but again I have to be fair to everyone.

A new entrant had, on first view, sent four stories. The maximum is three so I was going to submit the first three only for judging until I saw the third was a resend of the first story with the title’s incorrect spelling corrected. Another entrant had sent two versions of the same story (with very minor alterations). The first version of a story goes through and a spelling error won’t see a story disqualified (that’s usually only for non-100 words – for no reason other than too short or long, or if a word is missing so would go over if added, or if a piece has not been written to the theme) but it’s always worth creating your story in another format first and reading and rereading it before you copy/paste it into my page’s form. If it’s a good enough story it won’t make a difference but does lose a brownie point. Another had ‘Mum’ (the name) as ‘mum’ (my/a mum) rather than capitalised. Again not disqualified for that but worth mentioning.

One story had a title that should have been hyphenated (A Girls-only Holiday). Titles aren’t included in the word count so that’s okay. The same author though had a word within a different story (cold induced) that should have been hyphenated so when it was corrected, it dropped the story to 99 words. The easiest way to know if a word should be hyphenated is whether either word can stand alone as an adjective. In this case it was ‘cold induced heart attack’. ‘cold heart attack’ wouldn’t make sense. Ditto ‘induced heart attack’. Although the latter is better, we need to know what the induction was. In this case it’s ‘cold’ so needs to be ‘cold-induced’.

Although one of an entrant’s three stories appealed to me the most, I chose a different story because it focussed more on the swimming pool rather than a brief mention. I’m sure (like to think) the stories were written for this competition but the closer to the theme a story is, the more likely it is to succeed over those who may have already existed but be tweaked for the relevant theme. Also, try not to make your story too cryptic. There were a couple this month where I read them and went “Huh?” Still the same reaction the second time so they sadly didn’t go through to the final judging.

Another story (one of two submitted) had ‘sole’ instead of ‘soul’. Again, not something that would disqualify a story but more losing a brownie point. I preferred the other story anyway so that went through. Another had ‘dove’ which https://www.lexico.com/definition/doveconfirms is the North American spelling of the past tense ‘dived’ so no error, although I always recommend having the spelling correct for wherever the story is set (if we know). Other observations:

Where the speech has an unrelated dialogue tag, e.g. someone laughing, moving, smiling etc. (with it capitalised: “That one?” He laughed as she picked up the mug.) the punctuation should be a full stop rather than a comma. Had it been related description, it would be a comma (“That one?” he asked as she picked up the mug.). Note: that the ‘he asked’ would always be small ‘h’ even after a question mark, exclamation mark etc.
Although grammatically correct, I recommend you don’t put commas between adjectives, and certainly not immediately before the noun / object. It slows the pace… really slows it where there are several and anything that slows what should be a fast-paced page-turning read is best avoided.
I also recommend not inverting dialogue tags (and there were some), e.g. ‘said Simon’ instead of ‘Simon said’. ‘said’ tends to blend so also better than more flowery expostulated, cried* etc. https://www.proofreadingservices.com/pages/said is a list of 272 (reasonable) alternatives, although it includes coughed, laughed and chortled where they aren’t directly speech verbs. *this is very much a personal preference but I do think ‘cried’ should only be when someone’s shedding tears.
Where you have two characters of the same gender in the scene, it can be confusing with just ‘he, she, him, her’ etc. They should always refer to the last character mentioned, e.g. Emma and Tim went to visit her grandfather. He thought the man looked tired. = Tim thought…
‘feet’ should be foot when preceding a noun, i.e. a ten-foot pillar vs the pillar was ten feet tall.
Where an action has ‘starts to’ / ‘started to’ or ‘begins to’ / ‘began to’ before it, most of the time they’re not needed because unless the action is interrupted, the verb alone works better / is stronger. An example would be ‘the phone began to ring’. If it stops without being answered then that’s fine (although it still rang!) but if not then just have ‘the phone rang’.
Technically, ‘now’ (‘by now’, ‘just now’ and ‘right now’) is present tense, which is fine in dialogue but not in past tense narration. Had the narration been present tense, we still don’t need the ‘now’ because it’s technically happening now. All, now, very and just are often overused so I recommend, especially in a longer piece, seeing how many you have in a piece and chopping where possible.

*The theme for October is ‘creep’ and you can submit your entries (and do send three) at any time up to midnight (UK time) on Saturday 31st October. Details and entry forms on https://morgenbailey.wordpress.com/100-word-free-monthly-competition. So without further ado, below are the successful entries this month.

Joint first place (each winning free access to three of my online creative writing courses (currently worth £60 / $60) or a free edit and critique of up to 2,000 words (worth £30 / $42):

Darren York with ‘A Dead Cool Pool Party’

“My glass is empty man, fill her up now,” barked an inebriated Sinatra, irking Bogart and Monroe canoodling together on a sunlounger.

“Over here, waiter, without delay,” bawled an impatient Noel Coward, causing me to spill his martini.

Stan Laurel calmed him with a joke and he dived into the pool to cool off, watched by Kennedy, suspecting anyone and everyone. “Relax, John,” I said handing him a cocktail, “you’re dead now.”

Liberace plonked himself down at the piano and, ignoring a cacophony of groans, let rip with eager fingers.

Vera sang her song. We’ll meet again? I hope not.

Oliver Barton with ‘Left Behind’

Behind the Methodist chapel is the swimming pool. Was. There is only the chapel in the village (now a holiday cottage), the Post Office (closed last lifetime), the pub (the Last Resort). And this ex-pool, an insolent donation to the villagers by the self-appointed squire of yesterday. Now it is full of stuff: a shopping trolley, aspirations, dreams, abandoned hope. From a crack in the middle, springs a tree. Sycamore? Yggdrasil? Into its boughs, local youths have flung pairs of trainers that hang dangling, votive offerings to Lastbus, the God of Getting Away From Here. Alas, he went, aeons ago.

Second place (winning free access to two of my online creative writing courses (currently worth £40 / $40) or a free edit and critique of up to 1,500 words (worth £22.50 / $31.50):

Sue Massey with ‘Fantasy Swimming’ (a tough choice between this and ‘Bikinis and Boys’)

Carrie dangled her feet over the edge. Cool water lapped at her calves. Through blue-tinted goggles the swimming pool became the Mediterranean Sea. She plopped into the water, took a gentle breath, and submerged. Little bubbles escaped from her nose and mouth. She was a submarine. Carrie loved that first gentle length. Tight muscles released, aching joints creaked into life, and her body tingled. After a thirty-minute swim, she took off for the Bahamas to soak up the heat of the sauna, then showered in the monsoons of India, dressed, and cycled off to work. Tomorrow she’d swim with dolphins.

Joint third place (each winning free access to one of my online creative writing courses (currently worth £20 / $20) or a free edit and critique of up to 1,000 words (worth £15 / $21):

Liz Aiken with ‘Who Defines What A Swimming Pool Is?’

It is the two-legged ones, the ‘hoomans’, I call them.

They like this game. I play to please. Finding, retrieving, and returning the ball. He tells Jo she will never be a bowler with her erratic throwing.

Exhausted by running, chasing the red ball. Panting with the heat instinct takes me towards…

NO! – resonates loudly through the air. With deaf ears, my four legs ignore the command. Water’s allure is irresistible – jumping into the pool I swim. They see a stagnate water, I see a cooling paradise.

Wagging my tail joyfully as they tell me I am a filthy dog.

Valerie Fish with ‘My Water Baby’

Living on the coast, we’d be in the water all year round, whatever the weather. We knew the tides, the dangers; you would have thought we’d be safe in a public swimming pool…

If only swimming caps hadn’t gone out of fashion. If only she’d tied her hair back…

The coroner concluded there was a fault with one of the filters; the council was heavily fined, and we were awarded compensation, but no amount of money could bring my precious girl back.

Now my little water baby is swimming with the angels.

I will never go in the water again.

Highly commended (winning my Entering Writing Competitions course worth £20 / $20) or a free edit and critique of up to 1,000 words (worth £15 / $21) – in alphabetical order:

Anne Maguire with ‘Drained’
Bailey Winters with ‘Endless’
Dhananjay Bapat with ‘Primal Rage’
Jane Brown with ‘Changing Colours’
Jennie Cordner with ‘In at the Deep End’
Joyce Bingham with ‘Be Careful What You Wish For’
Julian Cadman with ‘The Ripple Effect’

Honourable mentions (not winning anything but only narrowly missing out and still looking good on their CV) – in alphabetical order:

Cath Barton with ‘Moonlight Serenade’
Clare Law with ‘The Pool in the House on the Island’
Flissie with ‘Solly O’Sullivan’s Last Words’
Laura Besley with ‘Chatter on the Sidelines’
Lesley McLean with ‘The Drowning’
Paul Mastaglio with ‘Horror by the Sea’
Stef Smulders with ‘Cupcakes’

Congratulations, everyone. The entries for this month are already drifting in. Remember, you can send up to three per month so rather than miss out on a chance by sending one story, do submit more.

Sunday short short story: Stupid Is by Morgen Bailey

October 11, 2020July 5, 2020Leave a comment

Stupid Is

Billy trudged down the stairs.

“What’s the matter with you?” Emily asked.

“If only I could turn the clock back.”

“Why, what’s happened?”

“Sgt Chambers, that’s what’s happened.”

“Oh, Billy. You’ve not been smoking grass in your car again, have you?”

“No! Gave that up months ago, you know that.”

Emily gave him that ‘look’.

“OK, weeks.”

“So what happened?”

“Said I was speeding.”

“Oh, Billy.”

“I wasn’t.”

“Really?”

“OK. Thirty-eight in a thirty but everyone else does it… was doing it.”

“Just because everyone else-”

“I know.”

“I suppose if he was in an unmarked… Billy? Don’t you ever look in your mirror?”

“Yeah. Mirror, signal, brake.”

“So you only look when you’re turning?”

“Don’t need it just driving. It’s stupid.”

“Stupid is doing thirty-eight in a thirty with a police car following you.”

“I know that now.”

“You knew that the first two times. One more and-”

“I know. My licence.”

“And probably have to take your test again. You’ll be seventy next year.”

“OK, mum. I’ll behave.”

###

Sunday short short story: Red Velvet Caress by Morgen Bailey

October 4, 2020July 5, 2020Leave a comment

Red Velvet Caress

Tempted as he was, Franz was no thief. He knew no one would see, he was the only one there, but he’d never stolen anything and at 72, he wasn’t going to start.

The diamond glistened, taunted. It would have made a lovely necklace for Doris but she was no longer around to wear it.

He knew with the door already open there’d be no alarm. He could just hold it, he’d gloves on so there’d be no fingerprints, hold it for a minute or two, look for imperfections he knew wouldn’t exist.

He opened the door further, watched for any sign of life, electronic or otherwise, but no lights flashed, no alarm or shouting. He reached inside, leather glove touching gem, and picked it up, out of its red velvet caress and held it as if a newborn, just for a few seconds, then placed it back.

Hovering his hand to one side of the stone, he rested the tip of his index finger into the fleshy mound of his thumb and flicked the diamond off its perch as if it were a Subbuteo figure, and watched it drop on to the velvet floor of the bulletproof glass case. Again he waited for a reaction, someone to witness his mischievousness, but there never was.

He picked the locations carefully, entered at the weakest point, entering but never breaking. Meticulous research, years of experience, at least a dozen visits beforehand, mill amongst the hundreds of patrons. To the guards, the staff, he was just a little old man walking stiffly with a smart black cane. No one would notice him pressing down on the handle, taking photographs of his possible routes, items of interest.

He’d come to the Van Lief Museum for a Winkel painting, turn it round, just for fun, prove to yet another ‘great institution’ that their security was a joke, but then he’d seen the open door to the diamond and that had been an added bonus. Would it be enough? He wasn’t sure, so on his way out went to the Winkel and didn’t turn it round, but tilted it slightly so the river painted on it would ripple, the people on the boat feel the shift, and as he closed the window behind him, he smiled and went out into the night.

###

Results of Morgen’s 100-word competition: August 2020 (finally!)

September 27, 2020September 28, 2020Leave a comment

Hello everyone and welcome to the sixtieth! month of this competition. My apologies for it being so late this month… it’s been a manic one.

There were 41 entries from 22 authors for the theme of ‘update’, with the complication of not being able to start a sentence with a pronoun (the characters’ names, I, You, He or She, A/The (thing or person)).

Three, unfortunately all from the same entrant, were disqualified for being 98, 99 and 101 words. The lower two had punctuation separated from words so when reconnected, they brought down the word count. Another was disqualified for having a word missing (‘what they WERE talking about’) which would have made it 101. It’s a simple error and should have been detected before submission. Fortunately the entrant submitted another story which went through to the judging. This wasn’t the case however for another entrant who was disqualified for the same reason (cruel as TO take) and it was their only story. This is why it’s always worth submitting three.

Another entry had a word (https://www.lexico.com/definition/spaceship) as two words so when conjoined made the story 99 words. I have to be fair to everyone so it’s always worth checking sites like lexico.com if you’re in doubt. And another story had a ‘that’ missing. I’m all for chopping ‘that’s but not when the rest of it is incorrect or doesn’t make sense. 😦

I noticed that a few stories had inverted dialogue tags, some where the verb isn’t a dialogue verb, e.g. smiled, laughed, coughed… basically any action that’s directly connected with the speaking. While a publisher is unlikely to reject a story for that reason, I highly recommend

*The theme for September is ‘the swimming pool’ and you can submit your entries (and do send three for a better chance) at any time up to midnight (UK time) on Wednesday 30th September. Details and entry forms on https://morgenbailey.wordpress.com/100-word-free-monthly-competition. So without further ado, below are the successful entries this month.

Joint first place (each winning free access to three of my online creative writing courses (currently worth £60 / $60) or a free edit and critique of up to 2,000 words (worth £14 / $18):

Carmina McConnell with ‘Befriended’
Thank you for your purchase of the update for household robot ‘Dreamer’. Model 2023 has a host of new features surpassing any other on the market. Let me talk you through these. First: a flying control so your ‘Dreamer’ can now keep your ceilings spotless alongside the former floors and upholstery cleaning facilities. Next: the new culture button ensures you will never again venture outdoors into unhealthy arts venues. Finally: the ‘companionship’ mode is now so sophisticated that all former friendships become obsolete. Don’t worry about the update payment: ‘Dreamer’ Model 2023 has already taken control of all your finances.

Stef Smulders with ‘Mail Order’
When she first presented Robbie to her friends, they were thrilled.
“Wow, Carrie, you found the ideal man! Where? How?”
“Through mail order,” Carrie answered.
All burst into laughter.
It hadn’t been all that easy. Searching the dark web for hours, days, weeks on end. Copy-pasting Chinese texts to Google Translate. But it had been worth the effort.
Although the instructions clearly stated that the robot was not programmed for sex, Carrie couldn’t resist the perfection of Robbie’s body, his muscles, the smooth skin.
“What are we doing?” Robbie asked, Carrie on top of him.
“Just updating your software, Rob.”

Second place (winning free access to two of my online creative writing courses (currently worth £40 / $40) or a free edit and critique of up to 1,500 words (worth £11 / $14):

Darren York with ‘A Job Worth Doing’
Blue jeans; red top; blond hair, glasses and slight limp. Shops every morning after dropping his wife off at work. Quick hello, before one slice across the throat does the job. Step back before a crimson fountain stains the shoes. Escape in car.

Message update: do not kill. Abort job.

Return to scene stemming bleed with scarf. Target still breathing; still alive. Call ambulance; he’ll live.

Message update: good to go again.

Follow ambulance to the hospital. Wait around posing as doctor; turning off life support. Get out. Another bloody update… drop my phone into river… updating my curriculum vitae.

Third place (winning free access to one of my online creative writing courses (currently worth £20 / $20) or a free edit and critique of up to 1,000 words (worth £7 / $9):

Cath Barton with ‘My Sister, Former Masterchef Contestant, Announces Her Intention to Visit’

‘Just a flying visit,’ she’d texted, ‘on our way to the coast. Be with you for coffee at eleven. Don’t go to any trouble.’
Knowing how particular my sister was, I went to considerable trouble and baked biscuits, iced them too.
At 10.45 on the day she sent a message: ‘Delayed setting off. With you by lunchtime.’
Panic stations! Shop-bought was never good enough for Yvonne. More baking, with me getting hotter than the oven.
At 12.45 another update pinged in: ‘Sorry, no time to stop, children mad for the beach.’
Mad didn’t begin to cover the way I felt.

Highly commended (winning my Entering Writing Competitions course worth £20 / $20) or a free edit and critique of up to 1,000 words (worth £7 / $9) – in alphabetical order:

Carol Allison with ‘The Home Office’
Joyce Bingham with ‘The Hit Man’
Laura Besley with ‘Awakening’
Lestie Mulholland with ‘Incommunicado’
Wendy Hayko with ‘After Life’

Honourable mentions (not winning anything but only narrowly missing out and still looking good on their CV) – in alphabetical order:

CJ Nicol with ‘King of the Castle’
Elena Canty with ‘A Different Kind of Virus’
Patricia Cooksley with ‘Introducing Eric’
Yvonne Mastaglio with ‘Waste of Time’

Congratulations, everyone. The entries for this month are already drifting in. Remember, you can send up to three per month so rather than miss out on a chance by sending one story, do submit more.