Results of Morgen’s 100-word competition: November 2020

December 13, 2020Leave a comment

Hello everyone and welcome to the sixty-third month of this competition. There were 47 entries from 24 authors for the theme of ‘silence isn’t quite golden’.

And boy, a really strong month this time. There were several stories of loss so in another month they may well have been placed differently had there not been so many. The ones I chose were, to me, the more powerful ones. For me to read a story and go ‘wow’, that’s a very good sign.

When I receive the stories I copy/paste them into a Word document then read them in batches, placing them roughly where I think they may end up. It’s rare for me to have less than two winners, seconds, thirds, several highly commended and honourable mentions. I’m writing this at the point of my final whittling and I have three firsts, three seconds, four thirds, four highly commended and four honourable mentions. The latter, sadly, will have to go and the others staggered. I email them to my Kindle more than once as I rejig the order until I’m happy with the selection. It invariably means that some great stories are cut that may have been placed in other months and it’s especially true this time.

These are the ones that didn’t make even the first round…

One was disqualified for only being 98 words. The title was three words so even if included would have been 101.
A story lost a point for ‘creaked opened’ rather than ‘creaked open’ – a simple error. This sometimes happen with last-minute entries but it wasn’t the case this time. It didn’t affect the word count so it went through but was placed lower than it would have been without the error, and dropped off the list, which is a shame, especially as it was that author’s only entry – why it’s always worth sending three.
Another lost a brownie point for ‘laying’ (placing something) instead of ‘lying’ (being horizontal). To lie is ‘I lay’ in simple past tense but in present tense, people lie, chickens lay. If you are putting down an object, you lay it down. If you are having a rest, you lie on the sofa. In past perfect, it would be ‘lain’ (people), ‘laid’ (object). http://www.quickanddirtytips.com/education/grammar/lay-versus-lie.
A great story had an ‘of’ missing (little bit plain fun) so would have been 101 and therefore had to be disqualified, another shame as it was a solo entry and a great story. Another, again a solo entry, was disqualified for having a word too many (before they were commanded them to stop) – the ‘were’ or ‘them’ should have been removed, making it 99 words. 😦
One was disqualified for incorrect word count for having unhyphenated ‘eight month old dogs’. Where an age precedes a noun, it should be hyphenated. When we have someone’s age following, e.g. ‘Tom was ten’, we wouldn’t need the ‘years old’ or ‘years of age’ because the number – within the right context – is sufficient. There would also only be a hyphen if preceding an implied noun, e.g. the fourteen-year-old (shortened from ‘the fourteen-year-old girl’). Had there been a non-exact name using ‘something’ (or similar), The ‘something’ represents an unknown number so it would all still be hyphenated as the likes of ‘twenty-two-year-old nurse’ would have been.
Another, unfortunately from the same author, was disqualified for having two ‘to’s together, reducing the story to 99 words by removing one.

Other observations:

where a word is a generic noun rather than a name (e.g. ‘the doctor’ vs Doctor Smith – ‘a goddess’ in this case) there should be a small first letter.
when referring to family, mum/mom and dad should be capitalised when used as a name, e.g. “I know, Mum/Mom.” When used as a ‘job’, e.g. my mum/mom, my dad, my doctor etc. then it should be a small m, d etc. NB. There’s a comma before ‘Mum/Mom’ here because when you’re writing someone’s name – and a nickname or term of endearment counts as a name – when another character is speaking to them, you’d need a comma before the name, i.e. ‘Do you know John?’ is asking if the person knows someone called John. ‘Do you know, John?’ means that the character is speaking to someone called John but asking them if they know something. A subtle difference but you want to avoid confusing the reader so they jump out of the story.
in my writing I add commas where a reader would breathe if reading the piece aloud, which I always recommend the author do too, especially where a scene feels flat or you think it doesn’t work for whatever reason. Tip: although grammatically correct, I recommend that you don’t put commas between adjectives, and certainly not immediately before the noun / object. It slows the pace… really slows it where there are several and anything that slows what should be a fast-paced page-turning read is best avoided.
careful of too many adverbs, especially in short pieces like these (one had four). Where dialogue shows us how something’s said then we don’t need an adverb with the verb, or replace the whole thing with a stronger verb (e.g. ‘Get out!’ he snapped… rather than …he said angrily).
there weren’t too many clichés this time. Even something as simple as sitting ‘bolt upright’ is a bit of a cliché so best avoided. No points lost but definitely worth choosing something original.

The winning stories are ones that I reacted most favourably to (despite the two ‘was’s in the first sentence of one of them). They were clever, surprising, eek-making (in a good way), or gave me a warm fuzzy feeling (without being sickly). Sometimes a story beats another because it has a stronger link to the theme so it’s worth writing a story to the theme rather than tweaking a story you already have to loosely fit it. Alternatively there may have been several stories on with same topic so I chose my favourite of those. With any competition, much rests upon the judge’s preference and it’s usually ones than garner a stronger (positive) reaction that do the best.

You may have chosen a different order or indeed not placed one or more of them so if you entered and didn’t find your story / stories here, don’t lose heart. You probably only just missed out so do enter new stories this month*, next month, whenever you like (but not in advance!). It’s an ongoing competition and free, so you could win at any time. There were new and familiar names this month so anyone could win… it’s all dependent upon whether your story grabs me, for whatever reason (whether it be clever, funny, unusual, quirky, or sweet).

Apart from the top three and highly commended, there are some ‘Honourable Mentions’. They don’t win anything but they were so close to being Highly Commended that I wanted them to know how close they came. It’s still something for them to put on their CVs.

*The theme for December is ‘the winter summer holiday’ and you can submit your entries (and do send three) at any time up to midnight (UK time) on Thursday 31st December. Details and entry forms on https://morgenbailey.wordpress.com/100-word-free-monthly-competition. So without further ado, below are the successful entries this month.

Joint first place (each winning free access to three of my online creative writing courses (currently worth £60 / $60) or a free edit and critique of up to 2,000 words (worth £30 / $42):

Douglas Goodrich with ‘The Lost Oscar’

She always sits in the same seat every day, looking out at the large oak tree, outside the recreation room’s bay window. Gorgeous in her old age.

Margarette Felton is how she was known in Hollywood. Daisy Hinkler is how she grew up in Paris, Texas. Before the spoken words on screen, she was a goddess. Commanding a thousand dollars a week when others worked in sweatshops for a quarter of the salary.

But the elusive Oscar is what haunts her still today. She never won the gold. If only she’d have transitioned to the talkies, but silently she mourns.

Stef Smulders with ‘Animal Love’

When I bought the house, I hadn’t noticed next door’s dogs, five ferocious Rottweilers locked up in a tiny back garden.

Now their fights and endless waves of roars keep me awake at night.

“I’m afraid to approach them myself,” my neighbor said with a weird smile. Two sleeve tattoos covered his arms.

Then, one night, all is silent. A miracle! I go outside, curious to know why. Near the fence, I hear smacking noises. The dogs are eating.

The ‘I Love Dogs’ tattoo lighting up in the beam of my lantern tells me more than I want to know.

Joint second place (each winning free access to two of my online creative writing courses (currently worth £40 / $40) or a free edit and critique of up to 1,500 words (worth £22.50 / $31.50):

Anne Maguire with ‘New Start’

Jean was my new neighbour and was very chatty. “It’s lovely and quiet here, you’ll not be bothered by noisy kids or music.”

I wanted to tell her how I missed the sound of kids, of Sally playing her flute – really badly – and me smiling proudly. How I missed her incessant chatter about life at eight and all its intricacies. How I missed her shouting about how awful a mum I was.

Alex says I’ve not to keep bringing it up. This is a new start, he says. They don’t need to keep hearing about a dead child, he says.

Paul Mastaglio with ‘A Christmas Break’

Captain Ben Johnson made his way carefully along the trench. Where was everybody? Carelessly discarded mess tins littered the dusty floor while a helmet sat abandoned next to sandbags. There were no hushed conversations as cigarettes were rolled. No scraping sounds as weapons were cleaned. Nothing moved.

His reverie was broken by the sound of loud cheering coming from above. Ben hastily climbed a ladder and looked across no man’s land. British and German soldiers were chasing each other as they competed for possession of an old leather football. A smile creased his lips. Why couldn’t Christmas Day last forever?

Joint third place (each winning free access to one of my online creative writing courses (currently worth £20 / $20) or a free edit and critique of up to 1,000 words (worth £15 / $21):

Jane Brown with ‘To Boldly Go’

‘Why did you become an astronaut?’ the reporter asked.

‘To explore new places and stick flags on planets,’ I replied grinning.

I lied. I wanted to get away from Mother. The constant phone calls and visits had become unbearable. Even moving to a different country hadn’t helped. Funnily enough, she had been silent recently, ever since I’d told her I was leaving Earth.

I gazed into the blackness as an unexpected rocket approached my ship.

‘Surprise!’ Mother’s voice crackled over the comms. ‘I become an astronaut too! Isn’t it going to be fun up here? Just the two of us.’

Julian Cadman with ‘Silence Speaks Volumes’

Silence isn’t quite golden, when awaiting her call after giving out your number.

Silence isn’t quite golden, after you’ve told her parents what you do for a living.

Silence isn’t quite golden, when you’ve just proposed.

Silence isn’t quite golden, after your best man’s told what he thought was an acceptable anecdote during his speech.

Silence isn’t quite golden, when you wake up and realise you’ve forgotten to switch on the baby monitor.

Silence isn’t quite golden, after you’ve asked the consultant if it’s curable.

Silence isn’t quite golden, when stepping through the front door alone for the first time.

Highly commended (winning my Entering Writing Competitions course worth £20 / $20) or a free edit and critique of up to 1,000 words (worth £15 / $21) – in alphabetical order:

Bob Cairns with‘A Prayer Falls on Deaf Ears’
Cath Barton with‘The Angelic Glow’
Joyce Bingham with‘When Will You Leave, When Will You Tell?’
Katie Jones with‘The Silent Partner’

Honourable mentions (not winning anything but only narrowly missing out and still looking good on their CV) – in alphabetical order:

Alan Barker with‘Oh Dear, What Can The Matter Be?’
Carol Allison with‘The Commuters’
Darren York with‘Noose’
Michael Harries with‘Cwtch’

Congratulations, everyone. The entries for this month are already drifting in. Remember, you can send up to three per month so rather than miss out on a chance by sending one story, do submit more.

If you’ve enjoyed these stories and / or just want to leave a comment, please do so below and / or you can email me at morgen@morgenbailey.com., although I won’t (can’t) discuss forthcoming entries unless it’s a general query.

Results of Morgen’s 100-word competition: October 2020

November 1, 2020Leave a comment

Hello everyone and welcome to the sixty-second month of this competition. There were 52 entries from 25 authors for the theme of ‘creep’. NB You can all send in three stories for a better chance of being picked. Not an easy month to whittle down to the successful stories.

One was disqualified for only being 99 words. Another, from the same entrant, started as 99 but had ‘over turned’ as two words rather than one so it went down to 98 words. Fortunately the author’s third story was 100 words so that went through. A similar thing happened for another author (‘work load’ instead of ‘workload’ https://www.lexico.com/definition/workload) but one of the other stories was my favourite of the three so it wasn’t a problem.

Another ended being 99 words as there was an adjective (now-former) before a noun so it ‘lost’ a word. Another, from a regular entrant, was disqualified as there was a hyphenated word (battle-cry) that, sadly, shouldn’t have been hyphenated: https://www.lexico.com/definition/battle_cry. So separating them made it 101 words. It’s a shame as it was a great story but I have to be fair to everyone to amend any ‘errors’. Another of the same author’s stories had a word (‘her’) too many so removing that made it 99 words, so also disqualified. A different author had a story disqualified for ‘entry way’ which is (https://www.lexico.com/en/definition/entryway). Both of these examples are the same in UK and US English so no allowance for nationality unfortunately.

One 99-word story (from a regular entrant) had a hyphenated word so perhaps it was counted as two.

One story had a title that should have been hyphenated (One-way) but the title’s not included in the word count so it’s fine. Another (different author) had an adjective (‘white knuckle’ ride) that should have been hyphenated (because it’s not a white ride) so the 100-word story dropped down to 99 and was therefore, sadly, disqualified.

Another author submitted four entries but the third and fourth appeared to be the same. The first version of the story is the one accepted so I ignored the second.

One story had two standalone hyphens in the story which (and it’s in the rules) don’t count as words. As – hyphens, rather than (correctly) – dashes, Word does actually count them as words so sadly it only came to 98 words. Fortunately the author had submitted the maximum of three so the other two went through.

I was torn between two stories from an author and marginally preferred the one I deferred (more polite than ‘shelved’) but the title gave away the ending so an easy choice in the end.

Other observations:

when speaking to someone and using a name, nickname or term of endearment (which counts as a name), you’d need a comma before the name, i.e. ‘Do you know John?’ is asking if the person knows someone called John. ‘Do you know, John?’ means that the character is speaking to someone called John but asking them if they know something. A subtle difference but you want to avoid confusing the reader so they jump out of the story.
we mumble / mutter / whisper under our breath so wouldn’t need ‘under my / his / her breath’.
although grammatically correct, I recommend you don’t put commas between adjectives, and certainly not immediately before the noun / object. It slows the pace… really slows it where there are several and anything that slows what should be a fast-paced page-turning read is best avoided.
like ‘erm’, we do say ‘well’ as a dialogue pause but it’s best not to include it in our writing, or at the most have it as a characteristic for one of the characters. Ditto ‘look’.
there were the occasional ‘creep slowly’ (and ‘slowly creep’ which is a split infinitive’). By default, ‘creep’ implies a slowness so the adverb can go. 🙂
there was a story with two characters whose names started with the same letter. They were different in gender and length (Amy/Andrew) and it’s such a short story that there couldn’t be any confusion but I recommend using as few duplicated letters as possible. I use a table to keep track and you can find one for novels at https://morgenbailey.files.wordpress.com/2020/10/1c-names-table-novels.doc and short stories at https://morgenbailey.files.wordpress.com/2020/10/1c-names-table-stories.doc. Whether you’re editing something you’ve already written or starting a new piece, it’s worth using something like this to ensure originality, even for instance if it’s avoiding having a character called Katherine when you’ve got a church called St Katherine. (Note: no full stop after the ‘St’. The same goes with Mr, Mrs, Dr etc. They’re more common in the US but I recommend not having full stops after these shortenings to avoid any readers thinking they’ve come to the end of the sentence.)
where an action has ‘starts to’ / ‘started to’ or ‘begins to’ / ‘began to’ before it, most of the time they’re not needed because unless the action is interrupted, the verb alone works better / is stronger. An example would be ‘the phone began to ring’. If it stops without being answered then that’s fine (although it still rang!) but if not then just have ‘the phone rang’.
although ‘rooted to the spot’, ‘frozen on the spot’ (or similar) is a cliché it won’t count against you but clichés are best avoided. http://www.be-a-better-writer.com/cliches.html is a great list of 681 clichés to avoid.
there were some stories with some fabulous onomatopoeic words and ‘active’ verbs (crash, plunge, rumble, races, howls, shrieks). Look at your verbs and see how they can be more vivid.
‘police’ is a generic noun unless forming part of a title, e.g. ‘West Midlands Police’. Like group, money, company, couple, family etc., is a single entity should be a single verb (e.g. ‘was’ rather than ‘were’). That said, it depends on how natural it sounds.
it’s always best to ‘show’ us how a character is feeling rather than telling us. Instead of saying s/he’s infuriated, have her/him do something like growl or say something that ‘shows’ us.
numbers under 100 are best written in full so they blend with the rest of the text (especially where they are 1^st, and the likes, as eReaders tend not to like ^superscript) so I’ve amended the ones that are. That said, I think all numbers unless titles (BMW Series 5) etc. are best written in full.

The winning stories are ones that I reacted most favourably to. They were clever, surprising, eek-making (in a good way), or gave me a warm fuzzy feeling (without being sickly). Sometimes a story beats another because it has a stronger link to the theme so it’s worth writing a story to the theme rather than tweaking a story you already have to loosely fit it. Alternatively there may have been several stories on with same topic so I chose my favourite of those. With any competition, much rests upon the judge’s preference and it’s usually ones than garner a stronger (positive) reaction that do the best.

*The theme for November is ‘silence isn’t quite golden’ and you can submit your entries (and do send three) at any time up to midnight (UK time) on Monday 30th November. Details and entry forms on https://morgenbailey.wordpress.com/100-word-free-monthly-competition. So without further ado, below are the successful entries this month.

First place (winning free access to three of my online creative writing courses (currently worth £60 / $60) or a free edit and critique of up to 2,000 words (worth £30 / $42):

Stef Smulders with ‘Attic’

There’s a madman in the attic. At night, his shuffling keeps me awake. I wait for the stairs to creak but nobody descends.

By day I sit at my desk and rock my body, fighting the anxiety that’s creeping up on me.

One night, I listen behind the bedroom door. Silence. I exit and climb the stairs. At the top, my head at floor level, I stop to look around. Minutes pass.

There’s nobody there.

Feeling safe, I enter and crawl into a corner.

There’s a madman in the attic. At night he shuffles around.

But there’s nobody listening downstairs.

Joint second place (each winning free access to two of my online creative writing courses (currently worth £40 / $40) or a free edit and critique of up to 1,500 words (worth £22.50 / $31.50):

Anne Maguire with ‘Project Creep’

I’d heard the term several times in the meeting.

At a break I asked Andy and he said “project creep” was when a project got out of control via lots of little blips rather than a big mistake.

He said, like when your rug creeps four inches nearer the telly rather than moving into the dining room.

I thought about life. I’d expected to be married to a man and with kids by the time I was thirty but here I was less than that, married to a woman who was pregnant – my rug was definitely in the dining room.

Jane Broughton with ‘The Name of the Game’

I’m a creeper. I creep up walls and around windows. I’m tenacious and can adapt to any surface. I use the smallest chinks in mortar to anchor myself to a building. I dig in and then up I go, steadily and stealthily. I probe as I ascend; seeking out open windows, loose frames, gaps in roof tiles, any opportunity for access. Once I spot my chance I exploit it mercilessly. You won’t know your house has been cracked by the creeper. Not until you remark on the small absences, a wallet here, a necklace there. The name is my game.

Third place (winning free access to one of my online creative writing courses (currently worth £20 / $20) or a free edit and critique of up to 1,000 words (worth £15 / $21):

Joyce Bingham with ‘The Dead are Watching’

As she approaches, the smell of the cemetery, damp soil, leaf mould, and worm casts is replaced with the iron hint of blood, the stench of rotten soul.

Her transparent dull aura reveals her vices, her nature.

I can feel my fellow residents moan and writhe, some in pain, others in pleasure. She is a creep, a troll, carrying, with delight and glee, photographs which will destroy a life.

She cuts across my plot, I will the ivy to trip her, the device cracks as it hits my headstone. I send a pestiferous breath across its surface, the electronics fry.

Highly commended (winning my Entering Writing Competitions course worth £20 / $20) or a free edit and critique of up to 1,000 words (worth £15 / $21) – in alphabetical order:

Lesley McLean with ‘Annelida’
Sarah Robin with ‘Another Stormy Sunday Afternoon’
Scott Rhodie with ‘Not the Life of Riley’
Sue Massey with ‘The Hole’
Valerie Fish with ‘Douglas’

Honourable mentions (not winning anything but only narrowly missing out and still looking good on their CV) – in alphabetical order:

Anne-Marie Chaplin with ‘In The Wild’
Douglas Goodrich with ‘Cheers!’
Liz Aiken with ‘The Dance of Life’
Patricia Cooksley with ‘Cowboys and Indians’
Paul Mastaglio with ‘The Perfect Shot’

Congratulations, everyone. The entries for this month are already drifting in. Remember, you can send up to three per month so rather than miss out on a chance by sending one story, do submit more.

Results of Morgen’s 100-word competition: September 2020

October 11, 20201 Comment

Hello everyone and welcome to the sixty-first month of this competition. There were 53 entries from 22 authors for the theme of ‘the swimming pool’, a popular one this month. And as you’ll see more successful entries. (You’d think I’m feeling particularly generous but actually just less able to lose some great stories!)

One was disqualified for having an ‘any more’ (quantity) where it should have been ‘anymore’ (time). I have to be fair to everyone… sorry! It was the only entry from that author so they were disqualified*. What a shame. Another was disqualified for having ‘into’ twice which, removing one would have made it 99 words. Fortunately the author had submitted two other stories. NB You can all send in three stories for a better chance of being picked.

All three stories from one (regular) author were disqualified for being 97, 98 and only 81 words which was a shame. Another story, the only one by that author, was only 95 words. I can’t stress how important it is to ensure your story is the correct word count. They’re only 100 words long so you can do it manually or copy/paste onto something like www.wordcounter.net.

One story had full stops as ellipses (i.e. . . . instead of …) but fortunately the author hadn’t counted these as words and the story was 100 spot on. Another also had an ‘any more’ that should have been ‘anymore’ affected the word count (thankfully it wasn’t my favourite of the three submitted). ‘anymore’ is time whereas ‘any more’ is quantity so the latter is correct here. The easy(ish) way to remember is that quantity is usually followed by a noun, e.g. ‘Do you have any more cake?’ And anymore often appears at the end of a sentence, e.g. ‘I don’t want this anymore.’

One solo entry was unfortunately disqualified for having a hyphenated word that shouldn’t have been. Had the words been before the noun then it should have been. An example is: ‘the doctor on call’ vs ‘the on-call doctor’. https://www.lexico.com/definition/on_callprovides other examples. Tricky but again I have to be fair to everyone.

A new entrant had, on first view, sent four stories. The maximum is three so I was going to submit the first three only for judging until I saw the third was a resend of the first story with the title’s incorrect spelling corrected. Another entrant had sent two versions of the same story (with very minor alterations). The first version of a story goes through and a spelling error won’t see a story disqualified (that’s usually only for non-100 words – for no reason other than too short or long, or if a word is missing so would go over if added, or if a piece has not been written to the theme) but it’s always worth creating your story in another format first and reading and rereading it before you copy/paste it into my page’s form. If it’s a good enough story it won’t make a difference but does lose a brownie point. Another had ‘Mum’ (the name) as ‘mum’ (my/a mum) rather than capitalised. Again not disqualified for that but worth mentioning.

One story had a title that should have been hyphenated (A Girls-only Holiday). Titles aren’t included in the word count so that’s okay. The same author though had a word within a different story (cold induced) that should have been hyphenated so when it was corrected, it dropped the story to 99 words. The easiest way to know if a word should be hyphenated is whether either word can stand alone as an adjective. In this case it was ‘cold induced heart attack’. ‘cold heart attack’ wouldn’t make sense. Ditto ‘induced heart attack’. Although the latter is better, we need to know what the induction was. In this case it’s ‘cold’ so needs to be ‘cold-induced’.

Although one of an entrant’s three stories appealed to me the most, I chose a different story because it focussed more on the swimming pool rather than a brief mention. I’m sure (like to think) the stories were written for this competition but the closer to the theme a story is, the more likely it is to succeed over those who may have already existed but be tweaked for the relevant theme. Also, try not to make your story too cryptic. There were a couple this month where I read them and went “Huh?” Still the same reaction the second time so they sadly didn’t go through to the final judging.

Another story (one of two submitted) had ‘sole’ instead of ‘soul’. Again, not something that would disqualify a story but more losing a brownie point. I preferred the other story anyway so that went through. Another had ‘dove’ which https://www.lexico.com/definition/doveconfirms is the North American spelling of the past tense ‘dived’ so no error, although I always recommend having the spelling correct for wherever the story is set (if we know). Other observations:

Where the speech has an unrelated dialogue tag, e.g. someone laughing, moving, smiling etc. (with it capitalised: “That one?” He laughed as she picked up the mug.) the punctuation should be a full stop rather than a comma. Had it been related description, it would be a comma (“That one?” he asked as she picked up the mug.). Note: that the ‘he asked’ would always be small ‘h’ even after a question mark, exclamation mark etc.
Although grammatically correct, I recommend you don’t put commas between adjectives, and certainly not immediately before the noun / object. It slows the pace… really slows it where there are several and anything that slows what should be a fast-paced page-turning read is best avoided.
I also recommend not inverting dialogue tags (and there were some), e.g. ‘said Simon’ instead of ‘Simon said’. ‘said’ tends to blend so also better than more flowery expostulated, cried* etc. https://www.proofreadingservices.com/pages/said is a list of 272 (reasonable) alternatives, although it includes coughed, laughed and chortled where they aren’t directly speech verbs. *this is very much a personal preference but I do think ‘cried’ should only be when someone’s shedding tears.
Where you have two characters of the same gender in the scene, it can be confusing with just ‘he, she, him, her’ etc. They should always refer to the last character mentioned, e.g. Emma and Tim went to visit her grandfather. He thought the man looked tired. = Tim thought…
‘feet’ should be foot when preceding a noun, i.e. a ten-foot pillar vs the pillar was ten feet tall.
Where an action has ‘starts to’ / ‘started to’ or ‘begins to’ / ‘began to’ before it, most of the time they’re not needed because unless the action is interrupted, the verb alone works better / is stronger. An example would be ‘the phone began to ring’. If it stops without being answered then that’s fine (although it still rang!) but if not then just have ‘the phone rang’.
Technically, ‘now’ (‘by now’, ‘just now’ and ‘right now’) is present tense, which is fine in dialogue but not in past tense narration. Had the narration been present tense, we still don’t need the ‘now’ because it’s technically happening now. All, now, very and just are often overused so I recommend, especially in a longer piece, seeing how many you have in a piece and chopping where possible.

*The theme for October is ‘creep’ and you can submit your entries (and do send three) at any time up to midnight (UK time) on Saturday 31st October. Details and entry forms on https://morgenbailey.wordpress.com/100-word-free-monthly-competition. So without further ado, below are the successful entries this month.

Joint first place (each winning free access to three of my online creative writing courses (currently worth £60 / $60) or a free edit and critique of up to 2,000 words (worth £30 / $42):

Darren York with ‘A Dead Cool Pool Party’

“My glass is empty man, fill her up now,” barked an inebriated Sinatra, irking Bogart and Monroe canoodling together on a sunlounger.

“Over here, waiter, without delay,” bawled an impatient Noel Coward, causing me to spill his martini.

Stan Laurel calmed him with a joke and he dived into the pool to cool off, watched by Kennedy, suspecting anyone and everyone. “Relax, John,” I said handing him a cocktail, “you’re dead now.”

Liberace plonked himself down at the piano and, ignoring a cacophony of groans, let rip with eager fingers.

Vera sang her song. We’ll meet again? I hope not.

Oliver Barton with ‘Left Behind’

Behind the Methodist chapel is the swimming pool. Was. There is only the chapel in the village (now a holiday cottage), the Post Office (closed last lifetime), the pub (the Last Resort). And this ex-pool, an insolent donation to the villagers by the self-appointed squire of yesterday. Now it is full of stuff: a shopping trolley, aspirations, dreams, abandoned hope. From a crack in the middle, springs a tree. Sycamore? Yggdrasil? Into its boughs, local youths have flung pairs of trainers that hang dangling, votive offerings to Lastbus, the God of Getting Away From Here. Alas, he went, aeons ago.

Second place (winning free access to two of my online creative writing courses (currently worth £40 / $40) or a free edit and critique of up to 1,500 words (worth £22.50 / $31.50):

Sue Massey with ‘Fantasy Swimming’ (a tough choice between this and ‘Bikinis and Boys’)

Carrie dangled her feet over the edge. Cool water lapped at her calves. Through blue-tinted goggles the swimming pool became the Mediterranean Sea. She plopped into the water, took a gentle breath, and submerged. Little bubbles escaped from her nose and mouth. She was a submarine. Carrie loved that first gentle length. Tight muscles released, aching joints creaked into life, and her body tingled. After a thirty-minute swim, she took off for the Bahamas to soak up the heat of the sauna, then showered in the monsoons of India, dressed, and cycled off to work. Tomorrow she’d swim with dolphins.

Joint third place (each winning free access to one of my online creative writing courses (currently worth £20 / $20) or a free edit and critique of up to 1,000 words (worth £15 / $21):

Liz Aiken with ‘Who Defines What A Swimming Pool Is?’

It is the two-legged ones, the ‘hoomans’, I call them.

They like this game. I play to please. Finding, retrieving, and returning the ball. He tells Jo she will never be a bowler with her erratic throwing.

Exhausted by running, chasing the red ball. Panting with the heat instinct takes me towards…

NO! – resonates loudly through the air. With deaf ears, my four legs ignore the command. Water’s allure is irresistible – jumping into the pool I swim. They see a stagnate water, I see a cooling paradise.

Wagging my tail joyfully as they tell me I am a filthy dog.

Valerie Fish with ‘My Water Baby’

Living on the coast, we’d be in the water all year round, whatever the weather. We knew the tides, the dangers; you would have thought we’d be safe in a public swimming pool…

If only swimming caps hadn’t gone out of fashion. If only she’d tied her hair back…

The coroner concluded there was a fault with one of the filters; the council was heavily fined, and we were awarded compensation, but no amount of money could bring my precious girl back.

Now my little water baby is swimming with the angels.

I will never go in the water again.

Highly commended (winning my Entering Writing Competitions course worth £20 / $20) or a free edit and critique of up to 1,000 words (worth £15 / $21) – in alphabetical order:

Anne Maguire with ‘Drained’
Bailey Winters with ‘Endless’
Dhananjay Bapat with ‘Primal Rage’
Jane Brown with ‘Changing Colours’
Jennie Cordner with ‘In at the Deep End’
Joyce Bingham with ‘Be Careful What You Wish For’
Julian Cadman with ‘The Ripple Effect’

Honourable mentions (not winning anything but only narrowly missing out and still looking good on their CV) – in alphabetical order:

Cath Barton with ‘Moonlight Serenade’
Clare Law with ‘The Pool in the House on the Island’
Flissie with ‘Solly O’Sullivan’s Last Words’
Laura Besley with ‘Chatter on the Sidelines’
Lesley McLean with ‘The Drowning’
Paul Mastaglio with ‘Horror by the Sea’
Stef Smulders with ‘Cupcakes’

Congratulations, everyone. The entries for this month are already drifting in. Remember, you can send up to three per month so rather than miss out on a chance by sending one story, do submit more.

Results of Morgen’s 100-word competition: August 2020 (finally!)

September 27, 2020September 28, 2020Leave a comment

Hello everyone and welcome to the sixtieth! month of this competition. My apologies for it being so late this month… it’s been a manic one.

There were 41 entries from 22 authors for the theme of ‘update’, with the complication of not being able to start a sentence with a pronoun (the characters’ names, I, You, He or She, A/The (thing or person)).

Three, unfortunately all from the same entrant, were disqualified for being 98, 99 and 101 words. The lower two had punctuation separated from words so when reconnected, they brought down the word count. Another was disqualified for having a word missing (‘what they WERE talking about’) which would have made it 101. It’s a simple error and should have been detected before submission. Fortunately the entrant submitted another story which went through to the judging. This wasn’t the case however for another entrant who was disqualified for the same reason (cruel as TO take) and it was their only story. This is why it’s always worth submitting three.

Another entry had a word (https://www.lexico.com/definition/spaceship) as two words so when conjoined made the story 99 words. I have to be fair to everyone so it’s always worth checking sites like lexico.com if you’re in doubt. And another story had a ‘that’ missing. I’m all for chopping ‘that’s but not when the rest of it is incorrect or doesn’t make sense. 😦

I noticed that a few stories had inverted dialogue tags, some where the verb isn’t a dialogue verb, e.g. smiled, laughed, coughed… basically any action that’s directly connected with the speaking. While a publisher is unlikely to reject a story for that reason, I highly recommend

*The theme for September is ‘the swimming pool’ and you can submit your entries (and do send three for a better chance) at any time up to midnight (UK time) on Wednesday 30th September. Details and entry forms on https://morgenbailey.wordpress.com/100-word-free-monthly-competition. So without further ado, below are the successful entries this month.

Joint first place (each winning free access to three of my online creative writing courses (currently worth £60 / $60) or a free edit and critique of up to 2,000 words (worth £14 / $18):

Carmina McConnell with ‘Befriended’
Thank you for your purchase of the update for household robot ‘Dreamer’. Model 2023 has a host of new features surpassing any other on the market. Let me talk you through these. First: a flying control so your ‘Dreamer’ can now keep your ceilings spotless alongside the former floors and upholstery cleaning facilities. Next: the new culture button ensures you will never again venture outdoors into unhealthy arts venues. Finally: the ‘companionship’ mode is now so sophisticated that all former friendships become obsolete. Don’t worry about the update payment: ‘Dreamer’ Model 2023 has already taken control of all your finances.

Stef Smulders with ‘Mail Order’
When she first presented Robbie to her friends, they were thrilled.
“Wow, Carrie, you found the ideal man! Where? How?”
“Through mail order,” Carrie answered.
All burst into laughter.
It hadn’t been all that easy. Searching the dark web for hours, days, weeks on end. Copy-pasting Chinese texts to Google Translate. But it had been worth the effort.
Although the instructions clearly stated that the robot was not programmed for sex, Carrie couldn’t resist the perfection of Robbie’s body, his muscles, the smooth skin.
“What are we doing?” Robbie asked, Carrie on top of him.
“Just updating your software, Rob.”

Second place (winning free access to two of my online creative writing courses (currently worth £40 / $40) or a free edit and critique of up to 1,500 words (worth £11 / $14):

Darren York with ‘A Job Worth Doing’
Blue jeans; red top; blond hair, glasses and slight limp. Shops every morning after dropping his wife off at work. Quick hello, before one slice across the throat does the job. Step back before a crimson fountain stains the shoes. Escape in car.

Message update: do not kill. Abort job.

Return to scene stemming bleed with scarf. Target still breathing; still alive. Call ambulance; he’ll live.

Message update: good to go again.

Follow ambulance to the hospital. Wait around posing as doctor; turning off life support. Get out. Another bloody update… drop my phone into river… updating my curriculum vitae.

Third place (winning free access to one of my online creative writing courses (currently worth £20 / $20) or a free edit and critique of up to 1,000 words (worth £7 / $9):

Cath Barton with ‘My Sister, Former Masterchef Contestant, Announces Her Intention to Visit’

‘Just a flying visit,’ she’d texted, ‘on our way to the coast. Be with you for coffee at eleven. Don’t go to any trouble.’
Knowing how particular my sister was, I went to considerable trouble and baked biscuits, iced them too.
At 10.45 on the day she sent a message: ‘Delayed setting off. With you by lunchtime.’
Panic stations! Shop-bought was never good enough for Yvonne. More baking, with me getting hotter than the oven.
At 12.45 another update pinged in: ‘Sorry, no time to stop, children mad for the beach.’
Mad didn’t begin to cover the way I felt.

Highly commended (winning my Entering Writing Competitions course worth £20 / $20) or a free edit and critique of up to 1,000 words (worth £7 / $9) – in alphabetical order:

Carol Allison with ‘The Home Office’
Joyce Bingham with ‘The Hit Man’
Laura Besley with ‘Awakening’
Lestie Mulholland with ‘Incommunicado’
Wendy Hayko with ‘After Life’

Honourable mentions (not winning anything but only narrowly missing out and still looking good on their CV) – in alphabetical order:

CJ Nicol with ‘King of the Castle’
Elena Canty with ‘A Different Kind of Virus’
Patricia Cooksley with ‘Introducing Eric’
Yvonne Mastaglio with ‘Waste of Time’

Congratulations, everyone. The entries for this month are already drifting in. Remember, you can send up to three per month so rather than miss out on a chance by sending one story, do submit more.

Results of Morgen’s 100-word competition: July 2020

August 17, 2020Leave a comment

Hello everyone and welcome to the fifty-ninth month of this competition. There were 39 entries from 18 authors for the theme of ‘a mature student’. NB You can all send in three stories for a better chance of being picked.

PLEASE NOTE: I changed website provider and lost emails from 3^rd to 5^th August inclusive. If you submitted any stories during that time, please submit again using the usual form before 31^st August. Thank you!

Two stories were disqualified for being 101 words with no obvious reason. Another (sadly from the same author) started at 102 but went down to 99 when numbers were correctly hyphenated (fifty-five and eighteen-year-old before a noun). Another for the same reason (fifty-year-old).

Another was disqualified for being a word over as it had ‘everyday’ (e.g. an everyday occurrence) rather than ‘every day’ (it happens every day).

*The theme for August is ‘update’ but for an extra challenge this month, the story must not have any sentences beginning with a pronoun: i.e. the characters’ names, I, you, he or she nor ‘The’.

You can submit your entries (and do send three) at any time up to midnight (UK time) on Monday 31st August. Details and entry forms on https://morgenbailey.wordpress.com/100-word-free-monthly-competition. So without further ado, below are the successful entries this month.

First place (winning free access to three of my online creative writing courses (currently worth £60 / $60) or a free edit and critique of up to 2,000 words (worth £30 / $42):

Alan Barker with ‘Kissing Under The Magnolia Tree’

“Draw something that brings back a happy childhood memory.”
He ambles round the classroom, glancing over the shoulders of the students as they sketch. Most are girls in their late teens who remind him of Clare: carefree and pretty with long hair.
At the last desk he lingers. The picture depicts a boy and a girl kissing under a magnolia tree beside a lake. His gaze shifts to the student, but her head stays resolutely down and her short-bobbed greying hair masks her face.
Loosening his tie, he sidles back to his desk to check the names on the register.

Joint second place (each winning free access to two of my online creative writing courses (currently worth £40 / $40) or a free edit and critique of up to 1,500 words (worth £22.50 / $31):

Jane Brown with ‘Bubble Bubble’ (I also loved Jane’s ‘Never Too Late’ but chose this upbeat story)
“No, no! ‘Eye of newt’ not ‘tie of mute’!”
Sally sighed, then started from scratch. A few minutes later her potion was bubbling lime green.
“Very nice!” Theodora beamed. “Gold star for you, Sally!”
That night, Sally’s children did the usual “We’re not eating this slop!”
Billy said, “Mum, I thought your food would improve after all these cooking lessons you keep running off to. When are you making one of your new recipes for us?”
Sally thought back to that morning’s potions lesson – ‘How to transform humans into toads’.
She looked around at her ungrateful children.
“Soon.” She smiled.

Joyce Bingham with ‘The Most Free I Have Ever Been’

Entering the building the noise from the cafe is deafening, music blaring, voices raised to compete. Chairs are set into amorphous shapes, students milling in and out of the abandoned tables. The sign for the library points through the melee, I reason there must be another way round, too many people, bags, books, laptops, dirty coffee cups, abandoned rubbish. Then I remember I am allowed to be here, free from parental responsibility, these are not my children but my fellow students. I decide to plough through the tangle of humans. Someone calls my name, I am welcomed into the fray.

Joint third place (each winning free access to one of my online creative writing courses (currently worth £20 / $20) or a free edit and critique of up to 1,000 words (worth £15 / $21):

Patricia Cooksley with ‘First Class’

Elsie may have been the oldest student in the class, but becoming a mature student was the best thing she had ever done. Her husband had objected to her studies, as he wanted her to stay home. He claimed that she just needed maths. However, he should not have worried about the milkman overcharging Elsie. (He was paid with favours!)
As the orchestra heralded the arrival of Elsie’s group to the podium, Elsie accepted her First Class degree in Chemistry. Unsurprisingly, Elsie had learned about lethal chemicals. She knew she could add them to liquids unnoticed. Elsie’s husband liked tea!

Peter Lambden with ‘Experience Counts’
Sam ignored the whoops and cheers from the kitchen. She hadn’t come to university at her age to waste time drinking. No, she’d come to prove herself.
She thought back to the previous night. She could’ve forgiven herself for not spotting the cling film over the toilet, but she really should’ve noticed the butter on the door handle.
Sam snuck across the corridor into Ben’s bathroom, unscrewed the shower head and poured in the loose tea and coffee grounds. She then headed into the kitchen with a smile on her face. A mature student was not to be messed with.

Highly commended (winning my Entering Writing Competitions course worth £20 / $20) or a free edit and critique of up to 1,000 words (worth £15 / $21) – in alphabetical order:

Darren York with ‘A Matured Vintage’
Laura Besley with ‘Never Too Late’
Lestie Mulholland with ‘Easy Times’
Paul Mastaglio with ‘Trying A New Tablet’
Sue Massey with ‘Secret Success’

Honourable mentions (not winning anything but only narrowly missing out and still looking good on their CV) – in alphabetical order:

Amy Gaffney with ‘Noddies’
Bev Philcox with ‘Mature Student’
James Montgomery with ‘35 Years Fielding’
Maddy Hoffman with ‘The Lights Were On’
M Anthony David with ‘Kamala’s Decision’
Stef Smulders with ‘Homework’

Congratulations, everyone. The entries for this month are already drifting in. Remember, you can send up to three per month so rather than miss out on a chance by sending one story, do submit more.

Results of Morgen’s 100-word competition: June 2020

July 15, 2020Leave a comment

Hello everyone and welcome to the fifty-eighth month of this competition. There were 20 entries from 10 authors for the theme of ‘a Twitter conversation’… a really tough month so I’m not surprised the entries were down from the usual 30-40+. The ones that came in though were really fun to read.

Two stories were disqualified for not having the @ Twitter handles but fortunately the third story from that author had so it went through to the judging… and did well, so it’s always worth submitting the maximum three stories. Another was disqualified for arriving past the midnight (UK deadline) and it wasn’t in the full Twitter exchange format as per the example so wouldn’t have qualified anyway. It’s a shame because it was the solo entry from that author.

*The theme for July is ‘a mature student’ and you can submit your entries (and do send three) at any time up to midnight (UK time) on Friday 31st July. Details and entry forms on https://morgenbailey.wordpress.com/100-word-free-monthly-competition. So without further ado, below are the successful entries this month.

First place (winning free access to three of my online creative writing courses (currently worth £60 / $60) or a free edit and critique of up to 2,000 words (worth £14 / $18):

Darren York with ‘One Last Job’

@dennis hows things?

@gnasher had better days

@dennis got a job for us

@gnasher no good mate

@dennis pays well

@gnasher my legs have gone

@dennis no running required for this one

@gnasher can’t bark anymore

@dennis I can bark and carry you, if you want?

@gnasher not funny, I’m in a home

@dennis for good?

@gnasher till I die

@dennis you’ve got years left

@gnasher no, I don’t know how long

@dennis I can come and fetch you. one last job?

@gnasher a bone in it?

@dennis of course there is

@gnasher ok, but hurry

@dennis on my way

Joint second place (each winning free access to two of my online creative writing courses (currently worth £40 / $40) or a free edit and critique of up to 1,500 words (worth £11 / $14):

Diana Hayden with ‘Trending on Twitter Worldwide!’

@harrypot got him

@weasley6 how

@harrypot zapped

@weasley6 dead?

@harrypot kind of disintegrated

@hermgraing If there’s no body then we can’t be sure

@weasley6 stop panicking Hermione

@harrypot before he died he went weird like he’d lost his power

@hermgraing That was Neville. He cut off Nagini’s head.

@weasley6 Nev’s a hero

@harrypot that explains it

@hermgraing Duh, Ron! Harry’s a hero too!

@harrypot What shall we do now?

@hermgraing Have a really good summer holiday!

@harrypot No, I mean will the world be safe? Do we need to do anything?

@weasley6 Reckon everything’s OK now Harry

@malfoyd hi kids

Sue Massey with ‘Lockdown Lyrics’

@popster Topical random prompts. Reply by song title.

@punkster OK. Social distancing?

@popster Don’t stand so close to me. Shopping?

@punkster I’m all lost in the supermarket. Present day?

@popster The times they are a-changin’. Education?

@punkster School’s out for summer. Next holiday?

@popster Fly me to the moon. Annoyed?

@punkster Get off my cloud. Where you live?

@popster Ghost town. Work?

@punkster Clampdown. Entertainment?

@popster That’s entertainment. Pub?

@punkster I wish! Two pints of lager and a packet of crisps please!

@popster Nice one! Wine?

@punkster Little ole wine drinker me!

@popster Wine o’clock. Virtual cheers!

@punkster Good health!

Third place (winning free access to one of my online creative writing courses (currently worth £20 / $20) or a free edit and critique of up to 1,000 words (worth £7 / $9):

Lestie Mulholland with ‘Waiting for an Answer’

@Godot: what do you want for Christmas?

@Sally: my two front teeth

@Godot: no silly, what do you really want?

@Sally: a fudge car

@Godot: and what else?

@Sally: wish you weren’t so far away

@Godot: it’s only a 10 minute walk

@Sally: may as well be the moon

@Godot: don’t sulk Sally

@Sally: I’m not

@Godot: so what do you want for Christmas?

@Sally: the house is horrid, mom shouts a lot

@Godot: should I get those pink sneakers

@Sally: no, mom already got them for me

@Godot: so what can I do?

@Sally: come home dad, come home

Highly commended (winning my Entering Writing Competitions course worth £20 / $20) or a free edit and critique of up to 1,000 words (worth £7 / $9) – in alphabetical order:

Adrian Deasley with ‘Clownclub’
Astra Lowelle with ‘The Party Planner’
Joyce Bingham with ‘Elvis has Left the Building Site’
Paul Mastaglio with ‘Rover’s Return’

Honourable mentions (not winning anything but only narrowly missing out and still looking good on their CV) – in alphabetical order:

Carmina Mcconnell with ‘Rarely Pure and Never Simple’
Jane Broughton with ‘Staying Safe’
Valerie Fish with ‘The Other Woman’

Congratulations, everyone. The entries for this month are already drifting in. Remember, you can send up to three per month so rather than miss out on a chance by sending one story, do submit more.

Results of Morgen’s 100-word competition: May 2020

June 30, 2020Leave a comment

Hello everyone and welcome to the fifty-seventh month of this competition. Sorry it’s so late this month… unforeseen circumstances (new books, elderly mother etc.). There were 42 entries from 21 authors for the theme of ‘may or may not’… I did struggle this month with some stories to see where the theme fitted. There either felt no connect or so loose that they felt as if they been tweaked to try to fit the ‘may or may not’. NB You can all send in three stories for a better chance of being picked.

Two (from the same author) were disqualified for having a ‘maybe’ that should have been ‘may be’ (It may be…). Another was for having words connected with /s which still count as separate words. Even if they hadn’t they were inconsistent so the story would have either been 98 or 101 words. One story was 99 words for no obvious reason other than there being a hyphenated word (16-wheeler) which could have been counted, by the author, as two. Sadly it was the only story submitted by that author so it (and the author) was disqualified. Another story had hyphens between words which Word counts as words but they’re not, and when corrected to dashes, they don’t so was only 96 words instead of 100. There was also other punctuation detached from the word they should have followed so that made the story 95. Fortunately there were two other submitted stories so one went through to the final judging. One story was disqualified because it had ‘maybe’ (noun) as ‘may be’ (verb), https://www.grammar.com/maybe_vs._may_be explains the difference. Sadly the author’s other submission (always worth sending three) was also disqualified for being 108 words. And she was new to the competition this month so doubly sad.

There were two from an author that I felt were as strong as each other. I chose one over the other purely on a ‘began to’* but then the other story had two ‘head’s (no relation) close together and a sinking heart so I decided to keep them both as Highly Commended, winning one prize between them but not publishing the story so the author’s free to send them elsewhere without them being deemed as ‘previously published’.

*Where an action has ‘starts to’ / ‘started to’ or ‘begins to’ / ‘began to’ before it, most of the time they’re not needed because unless the action is interrupted, the verb alone works better / is stronger. An example would be ‘the phone began to ring’. If it stops without being answered then that’s fine (although it still rang!) but if not then just have ‘the phone rang’.

Another tip (inspired by a story where every sentence started ‘The’ or ‘He’): be careful of having too many sentences (and paragraphs in a longer piece) starting with pronouns (e.g. I, he, she, the character’s name). Even if they’re quite long paragraphs so they don’t leap out, it’s something to be mindful of. So if a section feels a bit flat, it could be that you have too many sentences / paragraphs starting with a pronoun, e.g. ‘Barry did this…’ or ‘He did that…’, or that you have too much narration (Andy was angry) vs. dialogue or the character ‘doing’, e.g. “Get out!” Andy slammed his fist onto the desk.

You may have chosen a different order or indeed not placed one or more of them so if you entered and didn’t find your story here, don’t lose heart. You probably only just missed out so do enter new stories this month*, next month, whenever you like (but not in advance!). It’s an ongoing competition and free, so you could win at any time. There were new and familiar names this month so anyone could win… it’s all dependent upon whether your story grabs me, for whatever reason (whether it be clever, funny, unusual, quirky, or sweet).

Apart from the top three and highly commended, there are some ‘Honourable Mentions’. The authors don’t win anything but they were so close to being Highly Commended that I wanted them to know how close they came. It’s still something for them to put on their CVs.

*The theme for June is ‘a Twitter conversation’ (click HERE for an example) and you can submit your entries (and do send three) at any time up to midnight (UK time) on Tuesday 30th June. Details and entry forms on https://morgenbailey.wordpress.com/100-word-free-monthly-competition. So without further ado, below are the successful entries this month.

Joint first place (each winning free access to three of my online creative writing courses (currently worth £60 / $60) or a free edit and critique of up to 2,000 words (worth £14 / $18):

Julian Cadman with ‘Hitting the Buffers’
The smile now leaving our station is yours.
This train of thought will not be stopping, it’s terminal bound.
And please note this journey doesn’t appear on your scheduled timetable.
So, apologies, but due to signalling problems the lights have all turned red.
Your unattended baggage has been destroyed.
Please don’t bother listening out for any further announcements.
And apologies for any delay in your ongoing journey caused by this derailment.
Your first class season ticket to ride is now invalid.
Mind the gap. Did you ever even notice it widening?
You may or may not have.
Anyhow, all change!

Sue Massey with ‘Morgen’s May Prompt’
We discuss Morgen’s May prompt. Jane thinks “may” sounds more eloquent than “might”. She uses “might” a lot. She may try to change that. We recall our childhood manners, “Please may I leave the table?” Only after we’d eaten all our dinner. We decide to have fun with the prompt. During our regular telephone conversations and emails, we will include a sentence using Morgen’s phrase. As many times as we like. After several glasses of wine, its usage becomes funnier and wittier. A month on and it’s still keeping us amused. We may or may not grow out of it!

Joint second place (each winning free access to two of my online creative writing courses (currently worth £40 / $40) or a free edit and critique of up to 1,500 words (worth £11 / $14):

Taria Karillion with ‘Fiat Iustitia Ne Pereat Mundus’ (May justice be done, lest the world perish)
Two shoppers reach for the last stickered loaf.
One hand, rough, fingernails glossed in Final Reminder Red. The other, rubble-brown, save for the white skin ring of last month’s shopping.
Both pause – the packet is the colour of a graduation gown, and the flag from which the other fled.
Red-nails grabs and turns on broken heel.
At the conveyor belt altar, the other’s too-big coat reveals a baby sling, a tiny hand.
Red looks back… Tearing the loaf in two, she holds out half.
And for a moment, in that small corner of the world, humanity comes up for air.

Valerie Fish with ‘Will I or Won’t I?’
I may or may not have a drink today. That’s my choice. I don’t have to have one, I could stop drinking any time I like, but why should I? It’s my life and I’ll do whatever I like despite what my husband says. He thinks I’m drinking too much. He was mad at me last night, accusing me of flirting with the guy at the bar, and ended up sleeping downstairs. Boring old fart.
He says I’m not the same person when I’ve been drinking. Whatever…
I may or may not have a drink today. But I probably will…

Joint third place (each winning free access to one of my online creative writing courses (currently worth £20 / $20) or a free edit and critique of up to 1,000 words (worth £7 / $9):

Jane Broughton with ‘Not a Happy Ending’
“Do I look like a genie?” hissed the scaly demon.
“You may or may not be a genie,” Dolores replied, “but you came out of that lamp so you owe me a wish.”
“For the last time, I’m not a genie! I went in there for some peace while I thought up some fresh evil to curse humanity with. It’s not easy coming up with something original and terrifying.”
“Talk to the hand,” Dolores retorted. “I wish for the man of my dreams…”
“Done,” interrupted the demon, “but you didn’t specify which dream.”
Dolores screamed as Boris lumbered towards her.

Lestie Mulholland with ‘Word Adversaries’

‘You may or may not believe me, Maisie, but messy Molly makes magical mulberry muffins.’
There! Fifteen words allowed for the best sentence demonstrating alliteration. I got ten M’s Ma’m.
‘Whether wise William wanted Wally to wait while he went walking westwards we’ll not know.’ I got eleven W’s Ma’m, I win!
My two best students were at it again, head to head. It was on days like these that I loved teaching, you know, when the class instructs itself because it understands and now reaches out to grab just desserts.
Maggie and Michael, 10-year-old combatants, top of my crop!

Highly commended (winning my Entering Writing Competitions course worth £20 / $20) or a free edit and critique of up to 1,000 words (worth £7 / $9) – in alphabetical order:

Darren York with ‘The Magic Box’ and ‘Back to Oblivion’ (I couldn’t choose between the two!)
Diana Hayden with ‘Secrets’
Hannah Rose with ‘Forward or Backward’
Katie Jones with ‘Mayday’
Steve Lodge with ‘Let There Be Something’

Honourable mentions (not winning anything but only narrowly missing out and still looking good on their CV) – in alphabetical order:

Jane Brown with ‘Three Children and a Bridge’
Joyce Bingham with ‘They May Or May Not Grow, The Seeds Are A Bit Old’
Laura Besley with ‘Regret is Also Pretty Damn Cold’
Mira with ‘One Last Knock’
Omer Berkman with ‘The Way Home’

Congratulations, everyone. The entries for this month are already drifting in. Remember, you can send up to three per month so rather than miss out on a chance by sending one story, do submit more. If you’ve enjoyed these stories and / or just want to leave a comment, please do so below and / or you can email me at morgen@morgenbailey.com., although I won’t (can’t) discuss forthcoming entries unless it’s a general query.

Results of Morgen’s 100-word competition: April 2020

May 18, 20201 Comment

Hello everyone and welcome to the fifty-sixth month of this competition. There were 38 entries from 21 authors for the theme of ’20:20 vision’. NB You can all send in three stories for a better chance of being picked.

One was disqualified for having a word (well earned) before a noun that should have been hyphenated, making the story 99 words instead of 100. Three others were disqualified for the same reason; the words being ‘thirty odd’, ‘once flawless’, and ‘year old’ after a number. In the context, the first meant between thirty and forty rather than thirty strange things so should have been hyphenated. Two others became 99 because they each had a solo hyphen which should have been a dash but either way, it’s punctuation, not a word. Another for having ‘in to that should have been into’ (https://idioms.thefreedictionary.com/suck+into), making it also 99. Another story was 100 words but had a word that should have been two (brightside) so was actually 101.

One story lost brownie points for having ‘a smiled’ instead of ‘a smile’, which was a shame. These stories are really short and most devices (computers certainly – usually cmd/esc on a Mac) to read your writing out for you (I use my Kindle Fire’s text-to-speech function for longer pieces) so it will sound wrong rather than look like a word that fits. Another story was disqualified for having a word missing (‘in night’ rather than ‘in the night’). It’s all a shame and could seem petty but I have to be fair to all entrants to treat the entries equally.

*The theme for May is ‘may or may not’ and you can submit your entries (and do send three) at any time up to midnight (UK time) on Sunday 31st May. Details and entry forms on https://morgenbailey.wordpress.com/100-word-free-monthly-competition. So without further ado, below are the successful entries this month.

First place (winning free access to three of my online creative writing courses (currently worth £60 / $60) or a free edit and critique of up to 2,000 words (worth £30 / $18):

Jane Brown with ‘My Beautiful Table’

‘Wow!’ John exclaims. ‘This table setting looks amazing. But you don’t need to go to so much trouble!’
‘First impressions count.’ I grin.
The doorbell rings, making me jump and my glasses slip off. John goes to answer while I hurriedly grab candles from the bedroom to complete the setting.
John re-enters the room with his parents. ‘Mum, Dad, this is Katie…’ He stops. They all stare wide-eyed at the table, mouths open.
Confused, I retrieve my glasses from the floor and look again at the table. My beautiful table.
Oh. I never knew how similar candles and vibrators looked.

Joint second place (each winning free access to two of my online creative writing courses (currently worth £40 / $40) or a free edit and critique of up to 1,500 words (worth £11 / $14):

Patricia Cooksley with ‘Hot Scones’

George sauntered down Chapel Hill Lane. The smells of horse manure and silage entered his nostrils, making him sneeze. He looked up at John, not knowing where he was headed. As they approached an old farmhouse, John was tempted by the sweet aroma of freshly baked scones. He loved them hot with lots of butter and cherry jam. “How about it?” he asked George.
George’s mouth watered as he anticipated a snack. They entered through the garden gate before they were greeted by Doris. “Who needs 20:20 vision when you have nostrils and a guide dog? Don’t you agree, George?”

Simar Singh with ‘Nature’s Law’

I was born in Wuhan, a small province in China.
Mother birthed me to save herself.
So I went to the butcher’s market and followed a man to his village.
Anything to save my mother.
From China, I accompanied a European and an Asian, traveling far and wide
I reached the pools of Hawaii and sat in the colosseum.
I particularly liked Italy and New York.
I am a toddler so chaos ensued everywhere I went
The world screamed at me to stop, but the streets remained quiet.
Now the seas are finally clear and stars discernible.
Mother is healing.

Third place (winning free access to one of my online creative writing courses (currently worth £20 / $20) or a free edit and critique of up to 1,000 words (worth £7 / $9):

Joyce Bingham with ‘Five Goats in my Garden’

Delicately coloured tulips, vibrant hyacinths, selected to match the hellebores, are snatched, chewed and enjoyed. I can’t look away as yellow teeth pull and tear at delicate plants, hooves crush, maiming new emerging shoots.
My 20:20 vision of my garden, nearing its maturity, the long hours I toiled, pruned, weeded, selected, planted. I talked to them, cajoled them into new growth, worried over the lack of, or too much rain.
Now my garden is being eaten, I feel invigorated, I laugh with pleasure, I hug myself in the joy of being alive and giving nourishment to the Great Orme goats.

Highly commended (winning my Entering Writing Competitions course worth £20 / $20) or a free edit and critique of up to 1,000 words (worth £7 / $9) – in alphabetical order:

Alan Barker with ‘Deadeye Shot’
Jennie Gardner with ‘Under Review’
Laura Besley with ‘Foresight’
Lestie Mulholland with ‘Seeing is Believing’
Paul Mastaglio with ‘Stay Home’
Peter Lambden with ‘Fine Lines’

Honourable mentions (not winning anything but only narrowly missing out and still looking good on their CV) – in alphabetical order:

Alex Ravenhall with ‘Taboo’
Allyson Salmon with ‘Presbyopia’
Christine Law with ‘Through the Looking Glass’
Christopher Tattersall with ‘The Voices’
Darren York with ‘The Watcher’
Shalom Galve Aranas with ‘The Flight Stewardess’

Congratulations, everyone. The entries for this month are already drifting in. Remember, you can send up to three per month so rather than miss out on a chance by sending one story, do submit more.

The 100-word and 500-word comps are open for May

May 2, 20202 Comments

Yes, April has been and gone. A weird time and a step toward normality and another lighter hour in the evenings.

My free 100-word competition

The theme for May is ‘may or may not’, however it takes you. For details, please take a look at the 100-word comp page. It’s a free competition and you can win free …Editing and Critique or my Creative Writing Online Courses. The page also lists the upcoming themes for the next few months so you can write them whenever you like but don’t submit early as they’ll be disqualified. Good luck.

BeaconLit 500-word competition

May’s theme is ‘it’s in the stars’, again to be used in any way you would like within the 500-word maximum. Rules, prizes, entry form etc. via https://beaconlitblog.wordpress.com/500-word-competition. Entry is just £3 per story and you can enter as many times as you like. This is the last month in this competition, with the top three stories (from three different authors) from each month going through to the shortlist (of 27 entries), from which a final ten are picked who share the prize pot worth over £500! With everything going on, we’re still hoping to bring you the festival but should it not take place then the results will be announced, and top 3 stories published as planned, on the BeaconLit websites.

Results of Morgen’s 100-word competition: March 2020

April 18, 20209 Comments

Hello everyone and welcome to the fifty-fifth month of this competition. There were 50 entries from 24 authors for the theme of ‘since sliced bread’. NB You can all send in three stories for a better chance of being picked.

A massive eleven stories were disqualified this month, several for only being 99 words: one had a row of dashes which did count on Word as being a word but isn’t, it’s purely punctuation. Sorry. (Ditto another story which had three so was actually 97 words – it’s in the rules!) Another had a closed speech marks separate from the word which, when reattached, downgraded the story by a word. A third had a number that wasn’t hyphenated (twenty eighth), one for ‘part time’, an ‘under the table’, and another for a ‘pitch black’, where they all came before nouns. Another, a clever dialogue-only piece was 101 words for no reason other than having one word too many, which was a shame.

*The theme for April is ’20:20 vision’ and you can submit your entries (and do send three) at any time up to midnight (UK time) on Thursday 30th April. Details and entry forms on https://morgenbailey.wordpress.com/100-word-free-monthly-competition. So without further ado, below are the successful entries this month.

First place (winning free access to three of my online creative writing courses (currently worth £60 / $60) or a free edit and critique of up to 2,000 words (worth £14 / $18):

Katie Jones with ‘The Last Supper’
Past: His hands squeezing her neck.
Present: His hands clutching his throat.
Past: Her eyes wide, pleading for air.
Present: His face crimson, gasping to breathe.
Past: Pressure released, her lungs fill with oxygen.
Present: Life extinguished, he exhales his last.
Eventually, his drunken abuse became too much. He should’ve been more careful with his culinary choices, especially when intoxicated.
His final meal, a satay chicken sandwich. An unfortunate mix-up, given his nut allergy. His last words? That he could murder something to eat.
She smiles. Cruel irony. He always did think he was the best thing since sliced bread.

Second place (winning free access to two of my online creative writing courses (currently worth £40 / $40) or a free edit and critique of up to 1,500 words (worth £11 / $14):

Alan Barker with ‘My Little Miracle’
They said it wouldn’t happen.
My doctor. Two fertility specialists. And any number of relatives and so-called friends.
What do they know?
I lean over the cot and gaze at you. Is that a cheeky grin I detect? I’m sure my eyes are reflected in yours. We are so bonded, aren’t we, my darling?
I long to pick you up and hug you. Reaching down, I whisper, “Truly, you are the best thing since sliced…”
The final word sticks like a lump in my throat.
My breath stalls; tears are already forming.
Apart from your toys, the cot is empty.

Third place (winning free access to one of my online creative writing courses (currently worth £20 / $20) or a free edit and critique of up to 1,000 words (worth £7 / $9):

Jane Broughton with ‘Easy as Pie’
When Frank met Gloria he thought she was the bee’s knees, the best thing since sliced bread. He took her on a cruise and planned for their future.
Then he caught her canoodling with the captain, bold as brass. He was sick as a parrot. He realised he’d been green as grass and blind as a bat. He was mad as a hatter but he bided his time. He’d always been cunning as a fox.
When the ship docked, Gloria was missing, presumed brown bread. Frank walked off cool as a cucumber and got away as clean as a whistle.

Lestie Mulholland with ‘Where’s Mine?’
Certainly it was the greatest thing since sliced bread. You just had to see it in action.
Some argued that it had been around since before sliced bread but that didn’t matter.
It kept time very well, was able to perform multiple tasks accurately and efficiently. It could communicate, take responsibility, plan, organise, produce, sort and tidy. It used initiative and needed minimal management.
Amazing they thought.
What’s more it seemed tireless; things just got done: tea made, papers filed, Elastoplast offered. Nobody had invented it, it had just evolved and honed its skills.
Everyone wanted one. Their own secretary.

Highly commended (winning my Entering Writing Competitions course worth £20 / $20) or a free edit and critique of up to 1,000 words (worth £7 / $9) – in alphabetical order:

Ben Coco with ‘Her Kiss’
Cath MacKenzie with ‘Sliced Bread and Mechanical Hearts’
Jennie Gardner with ‘A Bread Slicer’
Joyce Bingham with ‘In Times of Crisis’
Taria Karillion with ‘The Essential Commodity’

Honourable mentions (not winning anything but only narrowly missing out and still looking good on their CV) – in alphabetical order:

Clare Law with ‘The Testament of a Private Soldier in the Invisible Army’
Jane Brown with ‘A Little Sting’
Laura Besley with ‘Not Bowing to Convention’
Mary T Bradford with ‘From Afar’
Rebecca Schwenk with ‘Sheet Dancing’
Sue Massey with ‘Feed the Ducks’

Congratulations, everyone. The entries for this month are already drifting in. Remember, you can send up to three per month so rather than miss out on a chance by sending one story, do submit more.