Writing 101 – writing tips by Morgen Bailey

October 15, 2013October 15, 201313 Comments

In the absence of a guest blog today, I thought I’d bring you the contents of my Writing 101 (tips) page, just in case you’ve not explored this site (there’s a lot to see). Regardless of how much you’ve written (for me over 400 short stories / flash fiction, a bit of poetry and seven novels), we can all still learn. Let me know (in the comments box below) what struck a cord with you and if you have any tips of your own, please add those too and I’ll include them on the Writing 101 (tips) page, credited to you of course.

Also see Exercises, Ideas and Sentence starts, and for those living in the UK, I shall be running some Northampton Writing Courses from January 2014. Anyway, on to the reason for this page…

At 5am on Wednesday 24th October 2012, I woke up to a message from my Facebook friend Scott Goodman (he’s a night-shifter) saying, “Hello again Morgen. Been listening to some of your podcasts on tips for new writers, really interesting about the common mistakes that are made. Just to throw an idea at you have you thought about a section on your blog for, so to speak “writing 101″, how to teach the complete idiot to put pen to paper (yes me lol)”. I’ve met Scott (at the booQfest 2012) and know he is far from an “idiot”. I replied what a good idea it was and that “idiots” were only beginners who hadn’t learned yet… so, hence this page. Thank you, Scott!

I’ll build it up with lots of hints and tips but if there’s anything in particular you’d like to know then leave a comment at the bottom (and I have an Ask Me facility). There’s also a (Roald Dahl) shed load of hints and tips on the Podcast – mixed episodes page.

I shall start you with my writing essentials below, but as they build I shall probably create sub-pages under topics…

Writing essentials

American science-fiction novelist Jerry Pournell is reported to have said “I think it takes about a million words to make a writer. I mean that you’re going to throw away.” I started writing for fun eight years ago and more seriously five years ago and with five NaNoWriMo novels, one-and-a-half novels in between, three NaNoWriMo story collections (a cheat on doing a novel November 2011 but I still made the 50,000-word minimum), part of a script, some poetry and loads of short stories under my belt, including 31-story collections for Story A Day May, I’m pretty sure I’ve reached that target. How much of them I’ve thrown away I couldn’t tell you but it’s only a fraction, and if like me, you’ve dabbled before really knuckling down, you’ll feel better for it. It’s all about practice. If someone sat you in front of a piano, would they expect you to play a concerto? Would you expect that of yourself?

In my experience too many novice writers worry about finding their ‘voice’ and understanding their ‘craft’ early on. It can be a long journey, perhaps not as long as a million words, but providing you write regularly (daily is the ideal but when does life afford that luxury, although 300 words equates to 100,000 words a year so a great incentive) you’ll get there… and here are a few basics to put in your suitcase:

WRITING

Accents – less is more; indicate where someone’s from but don’t have their entire speech in that accent as you’ll alienate readers who don’t know that part of the country / world. I talk more about accents on http://morgenbailey.freeforums.org/putting-journal-entries-in-a-book-t81.html.
Adverbs – Stephen King’s writing guide / autobiography ‘On writing’ (link on Writing-related) has been the most suggested book in the interviews I’ve conducted. Amongst other things he’s notoriously against adverbs (‘ly’) and fair enough – in ‘completely dead’ you wouldn’t need the ‘completely’ because dead says it all, and a character doesn’t need to be ‘sighing wearily’ because the sighing tells us enough, but adverbs are necessary in the right context. Again it’s all about clarification and fine-tuning.
Beginnings – this was discussed on my forum (thread: Problems with Introductions), where I say, “Beginnings should invariably start with the action. Avoid info. dumps where you giving so much to the reader that their brain hurts especially where it’s irrelevant – do they need to know where the main character (protagonist) went to school? Sure, if it’s relevant and if they’re still there, or they’re reflecting back on it for a reason. That said, when you’re writing a first draft it doesn’t really matter how you start. It’s often said that an author can either delete (or better still cut / paste into another document) the first two chapters because the action starts in the third. If the first two chapters are important they can be slotted in later. Sure, we need to know who our protagonist is, the dilemma they’re facing, an indication of setting and another character fairly soon as they’re bound to have an interaction with someone else at some stage and it’s often another character (the antagonist) that causes our protagonist the problem”.
Chapter lengths – how long should your chapters be? It doesn’t really matter. James Patterson’s are anywhere between a paragraph or a few pages. Graham Hurley’s 300-page novel Nocturne has three chapters. I’d advise no more than 15-20 pages per chapter so that your reader can read the whole chapter in one sitting (e.g. before going to bed), although hopefully your novel will have such a great hook that they want to keep reading anyway.
Characters: flaws – all characters should have flaws. No one is perfect, even the good guys (and gals).
Characters: names – Character names are important as we often get a sense of their personality by what they’re called. A Mavis is likely to be older than a Britney and would, usually, act differently. Avoid having names starting with the same letter; if you have a Todd talking to a Ted, the reader can easily get confused. Bill and Ted would be fine and as we know, they had a wonderful time back in the late 1980s. Try to avoid starting your sentences with your character’s name, as it can get repetitive and obvious.
Characters: quantity – don’t have too many characters in your stories. Two or three is usually enough for a short story. I read Kate Atkinson’s Behind The Scenes At The Museum for a college course. The novel had about a dozen different (eleven, from memory) female characters. I ended up drawing a family tree (they were all related on the maternal side) and admit I was struggling but I persevered and was very glad I did… she became my favourite living author.
Colons – there’s often confusion between a colon and semi-colon. Generally if you’re going to list something use a colon, if you’re going to enhance or explain something you use a semi-colon.
Colours – it’s easy to forget to include colours in your writing, but adding them does make your writing feel more vivid.
Commas – I think we generally all know when to use full stops and commas. If you pause for breath you’ll probably need a comma. If you come to the end of a sentence use a full stop. They are usually used before a ‘but’. If you read your work out loud, it’ll be more obvious where they’re needed. There’s a discussion about grammar and punctuation on my forum and some more help on http://grammar.yourdictionary.com/punctuation/comma-usage.html, including, ‘If you use a number of adjectives to describe something, you sometimes have to put commas between them. Whether or not a comma is required depends on the weight of the adjective. Adjectives are, in order: Number, quality, size, age, color, origin, and type. So, if you say you have ten large books, you do not need a comma since ten is a number and large is a size. The adjectives are of the same weight or degree. If, on the other hand, you say you have a shiny, sparkling ring, you will need to put commas between them since shiny and sparkly both describe the quality of the ring.’
Dash vs hyphen – hyphens (-) are generally only used to connect two words. Longer dashes (–) are used in various ways, but mainly to separate two sections within a sentence where the text between the dashes is highlighted, more so than separating it with commas. In dialogue where the first character is cut off by the second character, the long dash is used immediately after the final letter and before the close speech marks, e.g. “That’s not f–” http://keligwyn.wordpress.com/2011/11/28/puncutating-interrupted-dialogue explains further and http://eliteediting.blogspot.co.uk/2011/08/hyphens-en-dashes-and-em-dashes.html is another great guide on dashes vs hyphens. Also http://www.csun.edu/~hcjou002/JHyphen.Guide.pdf has a great list of words that should and shouldn’t be hyphenated. There’s also a great page on hyphenating numbers on http://www.grammar-monster.com/lessons/numbers_as_compound_adjectives.htm.
Dialogue: keeping it real – remember that we don’t aways talk in complete sentences. Have characters interrupt each other, which would be written with a dash where the first character is cut off, e.g. “I knew you were going to–” “What?” I’d recommend studying any fictional TV programme and see what they do. Soaps are good examples because they’re often fast moving and set in minimal locations, e.g. a street or area of a town so more dialogue than action / camera movement (the equivalent of description in a book).
Dialogue: punctuation – punctuation in dialogue is very different to normal text. There’s a great set of dialogue punctuation rules at http://teacherweb.com/CT/scottsridgems/Jennes/punctuating.pdf. In dialogue where the first character is cut off by the second character, the long dash is used immediately after the final letter and before the close speech marks, e.g. “That’s not f–” http://keligwyn.wordpress.com/2011/11/28/puncutating-interrupted-dialogue explains further.
Dialogue: tags – it’s recommended that you can only go up to six pieces of dialogue (between no more than two people) without attributing it to someone. And there’s nothing wrong with ‘said’. Don’t be tempted to look at your thesaurus and say ‘Andy postulated’. You could also avoid tags by another character saying “Oh Andy, that’s…” or in the description; ‘Andy laughed. “That’s…”. Another practice for dialogue (especially if you need to distinguish between your characters) is to write a section, or even a whole piece of flash fiction, of just dialogue; no ‘he said’ / ‘she said’ but purely what they are saying. If you can write it, leave it for at least two weeks and then read the whole piece and know who’s saying what then that may help the rest of your writing.
Dialogue: also see ‘Said she vs she said’ below.
Direct vs indirect action – Try and make your writing as direct as you can. What do I mean by that? Have the character (Ted) throw the ball rather than say “The ball was thrown by Ted”. Also instead of saying “Ted saw the train speeding towards the car”, having the train speeding towards the car means you’re closer to the action.
Elipses – these are the … dots which always come in threes. If you use a computer package such as Word you’ll probably find it automatically changes the three individual dots to a set of three dots (so your cursor would only move one space instead of three when you go over them).
Endings – endings are just as important, if not more so than beginnings. They have to tie up all the loose ends – unless you’re writing a series where questions will be answered in later books, you need to make sure that any queries the reader may have had about the plot through the book are answered by the end. They also need to leave the reader with some emotion; relief, pleasure, at the very least satisfaction. How many times have you thrown down a book (a paper one rather than electronic, hopefully) because you’d been disappointed by the ending. Not only have you invested money in what you’ve just read but also several hours of your time. Of course if the beginning and middle weren’t good enough to keep you motivated you may not have reached the end but if they were then it’s even more important to reward the reader for making it thus far. It wasn’t all a dream (thank you, Bobby Ewing) or the antagonist a figment of the protagonist’s imagination (aka Stephen King’s Secret Window). Everything has to make sense, to the point where the reader says, “Oh yes, of course!” or they go back looking for the clues and find them.
Exclamation marks and capitals – try to avoid these wherever you can because the reader will think that you’re shouting at them. Obviously if your characters shouts ‘stop’ then you’d likely use an exclamation mark (and you wouldn’t need to say ‘he shouted’ because we know he did from what he said).
Exclamation marks or question marks – a great guide to when to use which mark http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/marks/exclamation.htm.
Farther vs Further – http://www.quickanddirtytips.com/education/grammar/further-versus-farther?page=all has a great explanation for the difference (think of far as a distance).
Feet vs Foot – http://www.quickanddirtytips.com/education/grammar/units-measure?page=all explains the differences (and other units of measurement).
Hyphen vs dash – see ‘Dash vs hyphen’ above.
Metaphors and similes – these are very similar and it’s not surprising that people get confused. Similes most common and are ‘as slow as’ or ‘like a’ so something’s being compared as something else (that it’s similar too). A metaphor is more direct; for example, ‘he was a mountain of a man’, so although the man is being compared to a mountain, the narrator is saying he is one.
Numbers – there’s a difference of opinion as to using numbers in a word or number form; some say 1-9 should be in full (i.e. one, two… nine) but others say up to / including 99 should be in number form. I think it looks better (unless a date, bus number etc) as a word regardless of the number. For hyphening numbers, see http://www.grammar-monster.com/lessons/numbers_as_compound_adjectives.htm.
Points of view – most people think of there just being two points of view: first (I/we) and third (he/she/they) but there’s also second person (you). Also see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narrative_mode. There’s a discussion about point of view on http://morgenbailey.freeforums.org/post295.html#p295.
Question marks – see ‘Exclamation marks or question marks’ above.
Quiet vs quieten – http://www.usingenglish.com/forum/ask-teacher/24951-quieting-vs-quietening.html has a debate as to whether it’s correct to quiet down or to quieten down something. What do you think?
Research – Get your facts right. If you don’t, someone will be sure to let you know!
Repetition – I’m a big fan of repetition… of not doing it. Unless it’s ‘the’, ‘and’ etc, a word should only be repeated if the second instance is to emphasise or clarify the first. For example, ‘Andy sat in the car. He beeped the horn of the car.’ You don’t need ‘of the car’ because we already know he’s in the car. If you said ‘Andy sat in the car. He beeped the horn and the car shook’ that would be fine because you’re clarifying that it’s the car and not the horn (because it’s the last object you mentioned) that’s shaking.
Said she vs she said – http://words.journalism.ku.edu/attribute.html favours the usual ‘she said’ although it adds “Place the attribution before the speaker’s name only when the name is followed by a long identification, an appositive or a non-restrictive clause, e.g. The train had sounded its whistleand had flares burning on the back car, said H.D. Muldoon, a brakeman on the train who witnessed the crash. or The train had sounded its whistleand had flares burning on the back car, H.D. Muldoon, a brakeman on the train, said.“.
Sentence length – Vary the length of your sentences. Short, snappy sentences make for pacier reading. Longer sentences are ideal when you want to slow down the action… perhaps for dramatic effect e.g. in suspense stories. Try and avoid having the noun (e.g. character’s name, He, She…) at the beginning of the sentence too often. It’ll feel like a list.
Show & tell – Probably the most used phrase when teaching writing is ‘show don’t tell’. If you have a character who is angry for some reason, saying ‘Andy was angry’ is a classic example of ‘tell’. Simply put, you’re not showing us how. If you wrote ‘Andy slammed his fist onto the table’ you are.
Song lyrics – Including lyrics in a piece is always tricky because if your story was self-published, you’d probably have to ask permission from the songwriter’s agent / record company, and maybe pay a royalty fee (usually steep for a well-known song). Submitting to a competition would be the organisation’s responsibility to check because they’d be the one publishing it. Quoting a song’s title is fine because titles aren’t copyright.
Speech marks vs inverted commas – I’m either old school or just plain English but to me, speech marks (” “) are for speech and inverted commas (‘ ‘) for names, speech within speech marks etc. Either way, you would use one for dialogue and the other for pretty much everything else. As long as you’re consistent you can use either. Remember though that the punctuation in dialogue is different, e.g. “It wasn’t the only one,” he said, scratching his head. The comma there goes inside the speech marks whereas if you use them as a name: My latest book, ‘The Serial Dater’s Shopping List’, is a chick lit. the comma would go outside because it’s not dialogue. I often get mixed up with dialogue punctuation as it doesn’t follow ‘normal’ rules so have a look in any book and you should be able to see an example of what you’re looking for.
Split infinitives – wherever possible try not to split your infinitives. In other words where you have a verb like ‘to dig out’ try and have ‘He dug out the address book’ rather than ‘He dug the address book out’. It’s only a little thing but it usually sounds cleaner. Of course there are instances where it’s not possible to do that, e.g. He threw the glove down on to the table. The verb is to throw down but you wouldn’t say ‘He threw down the glove on to the table’. You could but it doesn’t sound quite right.
Tenses – in theory this is easy, with ‘he went’ as past, ‘he goes’ as present and ‘he will go’ as future but you may have a section where you’re looking back. Generally if you’re writing in the past tense anyway and are reflecting just use the past perfect, ‘had been’ (or equivalent) for a couple of sentences so the reader knows it’s previous to the story then slip back into simple past tense or it’ll become heavy reading. You can then start a new paragraph / section break to return to the original timing.
Toward vs towards – http://www.quickanddirtytips.com/education/grammar/toward-versus-towards?page=all explains that, on the whole, us Brits say ‘towards’ and Americans say “toward”.
Was vs were – I recently reviewed a short story by James Eddy and he had a sentence of ‘The room was fairly small and the walls were painted terracotta…’ (it goes on to give some lovely description). Although you have ‘was’ and ‘were’, you can lose the ‘were’. You may not think it makes sense but if you read the whole piece it does, in my honest opinion, make the writing tighter.
Who vs whom – There are loads of sites out there discussing when to use ‘who’ and when to use ‘whom’. These include: http://www.quickanddirtytips.com/education/grammar/who-versus-whom?page=all, (‘who’ when the main person, the subject, is being talked about or doing the action and ‘whom’ when the secondary person, the object, is being talked about). There’s also http://www.grammarbook.com/grammar/whovwhom.asp, http://www.elearnenglishlanguage.com/difficulties/whowhom.html and http://www.prdaily.com/Main/Articles/Who_vs_whom_A_simple_trick_for_determining_when_to_8964.aspx, the latter of which says, “Figure it out by… replacing the who or whom with he or him. If he is wrong, so is who. If him is wrong, so is whom.”
Writer’s block – If you’re having trouble with a passage move on or leave it and return later with ‘fresh eyes’.

EDITING

Every word has to count – does it move the story along or tell us about your characters? If not, the chances are it can be chopped. Cate Artios has a great editing checklist.
Spelling – do check your spelling. A spell-checker (the red squiggly lines in Word) and grammar check (green lines) will only go so far. Reading aloud (I mention that again below) will help with the grammar. Most common mistakes include there (a place), their (belonging to them) and they’re (they are) – easily done but something that point you out to a judge or editor for the wrong reason.
Take out the detail – although every scene needs some detail, you don’t have to have someone taking every step from the bathroom or kitchen to the bedroom. This is where you can leave a paragraph space and start the next scene, like you would in a script (although the format of that is more complex, I wrote one for now defunct Script Frenzy 2010). And don’t ‘pad’. If your book is too short don’t add in content that you’ve already said elsewhere (and certainly if you’re tempted to add a ‘tell’ when you’ve already ‘shown’ us what’s happening). These days with eBooks, the length of the book doesn’t matter as long as it’s good and you’ve not left anything important out (e.g. tying up all the loose ends by the final page). The best way to add content is by adding another character and / or dilemma. Rita Kuehn gives some great advice on adding here.
UK vs US – to colour or color? when is a bonnet a hood? In theory it depends on who you are aiming your piece at. If it’s going to be published in a US magazine then you’d generally go with US (ditto UK for UK) but if you’re character is American they’re going to call a bonnet a hood. My chick lit novel is set in Northampton, England and Izzy is from the UK so everything is British English. As long as the reader can understand and everything is realistic (accents, phrases etc) then go with whatever works (but do check your facts if you’re outside your postal or comfort zone!).
Wordy phrases – Why use three words (or more) when one will do… take a look at http://www.dailywritingtips.com/50-plain-language-substitutions-for-wordy-phrases for 50 examples.
Re-writing is also mentioned in http://morgenbailey.freeforums.org/hitting-a-wall-total-rewrite-or-editing-t82.html.

LAYOUT

Justification – pick up a book of fiction (especially a recent one) and you’ll see that the first paragraph of any chapter is not indented but the rest are. This is fairly standard across the board and how agents / editors would want to see your manuscripts laid out (and usually in Times New Roman or Arial, pitch font size 12).
Paragraph spacing – some writers are tempted to leave a gap when they’re changing character speech or a different topic but you would just use a new line (no blank spaces). Generally you’d only use a new paragraph (with a blank line in between) when there has been a passage of time.
Space bar – another kind of spacing: spaces between words. One. Old school (when I first started my secretarial training) was for two spaces but text these days is just separated by one space, even sentences.
Italics – if you have a character thinking, you’d usually use italics. You can also use it for names such as a restaurant or book title.

BEFORE, DURING AND AFTER

Read. It doesn’t matter whether it’s your genre or not (one of my Monday nighters writes amazing sci-fi but has never read a word of it) but reading will help you see how a story is structured and balanced between dialogue and description; short sentences speed the pace, long passages slow it down.
Join a writing group, get your work critiqued. Read your work out loud. It’s amazing what you’ll pick up when you hear it outside your head.
Subscribe to writing magazines, go to workshops, literary festivals. If you really want to write immerse yourself in all things literary.
A bit of a wild card but do you ever want to include phone numbers in your fiction and put random numbers in the hope they’re not real? If so, Ofcom.org.uk states that in the UK 01632 (then usually six digits) isn’t used and in the U.S. the equivalent is 555 and http://home.earthlink.net/~mthyen lists a load used in the movies / on TV. Now you know. 🙂
Know your audience: If, say, you’re writing for UK women’s magazines, know what level of a dilemma you can use for the likes of People’s Friend (gentle) to Woman’s Weekly or Take a Break (crime, spine chillers etc).
Perhaps most obviously is write. Even if you haven’t got much (or anything) to say, if you start putting pen to paper or fingers to keyboard, something will come out. Even if it’s appalling (a lot of my early writing was), you can’t edit a blank page.

There are many more examples I could give you (and I will put more on this page), but all you need to remember is that it’s not about clever words (because that ends up becoming ‘purple prose’) but just getting pen to paper, or fingers to keyboard and having fun. When your characters take over (and they will) you’ll have the time of your life!

I also have a tip of the week (so that’s 52 tips!) in my 365-day Writer’s Block Workbook (Volume 1), just $0.99 (or it should be, the most it would be is $1.49).

Let me know if you have any specific queries. You can Ask Me or my email address is below. What are your writing essentials? Do let us know.

Morgen Bailey

Other useful tips:

5PM Fiction 281: Bust-up At The Knees-up

October 14, 2013October 5, 2013Leave a comment

Welcome to the two hundred and eighty-first in this series that is ‘5pm Fiction’.

Late April 2011 I discovered StoryADay.org and the project that is to write 31 stories in 31 days. Anyone who knows me or follows this blog, knows how passionate I am about short stories so my clichéd eyes lit up at this new marvel. And just a few days later there I was, breathing life into new characters. This went on to become (with some editing of course) my 31-story collection eBook Story A Day May 2011. I have since published (as eBooks) the 2012 and 2013 collections, detailed on https://morgenbailey.wordpress.com/books-mine/short-stories/story-a-day-may.

I was nearing completion of the 2012 project when I decided that I didn’t want to stop at the end of May so 5PM Fiction was born. I put a load of prompts on the 5PM Fiction page and today’s was to write a story from the following sentence start: The party was in full swing…. Here is my 192-worder.

Bust-up At The Knees-up

The party was in full swing when the first punch happened. By accident, a reveller, drunk on free booze, dancing to YMCA, arms flailing, singing, badly, at the top of his voice.

Sandra gasped as Uncle Neville rubbed the side of his cheek and stared at the best man, Trevor.

“No!” she shouted as Neville pulled back his arm, hand curled into a fist. “He-”

But Neville couldn’t hear Sandra as she sat at the top table, her wedding dress leaving little space for her father and new husband to sit either side of her. Big and fluffy, that’s what she’d always dreamed of.

“Meringuey,” her best friend and Maid of Honour, Beth, had called it but Sandra had smiled and said, “I know. Isn’t it great!”

But then as she’d lost weight, wanting to be the perfect bride, it – the dress and the wedding arrangements – had closed in on her, given her claustrophobia that only happened to other people.

The fight between Trevor and Uncle Neville had been yet another defining moment in a horrible day. Sandra looked round at her husband of six hours, Andy Farmer, and her heart sank.

***

Photograph above courtesy of morguefile.com.

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Post-weekend Poetry 093: After Marius the Epicurean by Phillip Ellis

October 14, 2013October 6, 20131 Comment

Welcome to Post-weekend Poetry and the ninety-third poem in this series. This week’s piece is by freelance critic, poet and scholar Phillip A Ellis.

After Marius the Epicurean

The names of that great populace

dear to the Roman home,

on special occasions were not forgotten

about the place of their former abode,

a little cold;

a few violets,

a cake dipped in wine:

the dead genii were satisfied with little.

Crying in the stillness

of the night,

the dead genii were satisfied–

bread, oil, wine, milk–

with simple gifts

like other objects,

all the means of daily life,

the dead genii were satisfied with little.

Old wine was poured out freely

as he sank into a sleep,

moving in procession

through the fields

with a kind of awe

that was still upon him;

as he awoke amid the rain,

the dead genii were satisfied with little.

Gods were all around his bed:

the spell of his religion

as a part of the essence of home,

the dead genii were satisfied with little.

I asked Phillip what prompted this piece and he said…

“After Marius the Epicurean” is a found poem, derived from Marius the Epicurean> by Pater. It is a form I have used here and there, as the result of being attracted to certain short passages in my reading matter.

Intriguing. Thank you, Phillip.

Phillip A. Ellis is an Australian poet, critic and scholar. In addition, he compiles bibliographies and concordances. His The Flayed Man, has been published by Gothic Press, and he is working on A Harvest, for Diminuendo Press. Another collection has been accepted by Hippocampus Press, which published his concordance of Donald Wandrei’s poetry. He is the editor of Melaleuca, a journal of poetry. He has recently had Symptoms Positive and Negative, a chapbook of poetry about his experiences with schizophrenia, published by Picaro Press, and Arkham Monologues published by Atlantean Publishing.

Phillip lives in northeastern New South Wales, and derives inspiration Australia’s landscapes, wildlife and people. He also loves to respond to Australian poetry, from poets such as Brennan and Slessor, up to contemporaries such as Tranter and Stuart Barnes. He also finds inspiration in his many interests.

Phillip’s poetry relies on a strong sense of technique. As a result, he has had over nine hundred poems published in places such as Jacket, Bluepepper, Freefall, and Contemporary Rhyme. A certain proportion of his poetry is speculative verse, since science fiction, horror and fantasy are among his interests. He is also interested in working further with narrative and prose poetry.

Phillip’s website is http://www.phillipaellis.com.

***

If you’d like to submit your poem for consideration for Post-weekend Poetry take a look here or a poem for critique on the Online Poetry Writing Group (link below).

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For writers / readers willing to give feedback and / or writers wanting feedback, take a look at this blog’s Feedback page.

I welcome items for critique directly (see Editing & Critique) or for posting on the online writing groups listed below:

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Morgen’s Online Novel Writing Group

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Morgen’s Online Short Story Writing Group

We look forward to reading your comments.

Free eBook: Fifty 5pm Fictions (Volume 5): Oct 13, 2013

October 13, 2013September 28, 2013Leave a comment

I’m delighted to say that my fifth volume of ‘Fifty 5pm Fictions’ is free today, Oct 13, 2013 (it was yesterday too).

NB. Because of other postings due later, this notification goes out at 5am UK time which will still be the day before in some parts of the Amazon world, so you may have to wait a few hours for the offer to kick in.

Fifty 5pm Fictions (Volume 5) exclusive to Amazon.com and Amazon.co.uk, containing the following stories:

I could have cried (491 words), Even the dog is borrowed (302), Me, myself and I (895), Transparent (433), The ghost of the half-empty bed (622), Andrew would have been proud (330), Furry like a dog (698), Passion Wagon (60), All he wanted (198), Best in Show (795), Two backwards, one forwards (476), Full Moon (166), Eddie’s Fault (454), Getting to seven (204), Smile (140), Incessant Vera (194), Elimination (294), Lock jaw (29), Hold On (725), They try to with the food (670), Just getting started (60), An American Werewolf in London (710), No joke (127), A lot to learn (933), Sentimental keepsake (547), Ocean Drive (321), Police escort (619), Spice of life (238), Giving Gene Simmons a run for his money (55), Two Rows (567), Half-human (292), A Bad Feeling (300), Off by Heart (120), Hot Air (55), Write what you know (141), How hard can that b- (55), All Heart (504), Through (111), Curved into a smile (663), Tumble Turn (167 words), Bringing Work Home (87), Muddied By Misfortune (163 words), A Right Miss Marple (333), Mum Thinks It Was Me (210 words), Trust Me (391 words), Attracting Airheads (427 words), Erlina Didn’t Mind (94 words), First Day (151 words), Cleaning Up The Town (71), Holding Hands (400). Total word count: 16,998.

Other volumes to follow… A list of these and my other eBooks can be found here.

My Amazon page is http://www.amazon.co.uk/Morgen-Bailey/e/B007SNIBF8 or http://www.amazon.com/Morgen-Bailey/e/B007SNIBF8.

** NEW!! You can now subscribe to this blog on your Kindle / Kindle app via Amazon.co.uk or Amazon.com **

For writers / readers willing to give feedback and / or writers wanting feedback, take a look at this blog’s Feedback page.

I welcome items for critique directly (see Editing & Critique) or for posting on the online writing groups listed below:

Morgen’s Online Non-Fiction Writing Group

Morgen’s Online Novel Writing Group

Morgen’s Online Poetry Writing Group

Morgen’s Online Script Writing Group

Morgen’s Online Short Story Writing Group

We look forward to reading your comments.

Author Spotlight no.336 – Allen Smith

October 12, 2013October 9, 20131 Comment

Complementing my interviews, today’s Author Spotlight, the three hundred and thirty-sixth, is of humourist, fiction and non-fiction writer Allen Smith. If you would like to take part in an author spotlight, take a look at author-spotlights.

For many baby boom writers, invoking the popular television show “Leave It to Beaver” is the easiest way to describe their white bread, middle-class upbringing, complete with stay-at-home mom, working father and a brother who shares their bedroom. For Allen Smith, it hit even closer to home. “I went to high school with Jerry Mathers – the Beav, from the popular television series,” Allen says. In fact, they played on the same football team at Notre Dame High School in Sherman Oaks, California and hung out together on the weekends driving out their neighbors with what marginally passed for loud, objectionable garage band music.

Allen Smith was born and raised in Van Nuys, a suburb of the San Fernando Valley in Los Angeles. The youngest of two brothers, he lived an idyllic life free from violence, divorces and poverty. A time when kids could walk safely to school and the worst thing anybody expected them to do was pinch a few cigarettes or smuggle a copy of their dad’s Playboy into the Faculty restroom.

In 1967, Allen graduated from Van Nuys High School – the same institution that boasted more famous alumni like Marilyn Monroe, Robert Redford, Tom Selleck, Natalie Wood and served as the cinematic backdrop for “Fast Times at Ridgemont High,” “My Stepmother is an Alien” and “The Wonder Years”.

After graduating from high school, Allen enlisted in the U.S. Navy during the height of the Viet Nam war era. As an eighteen-year-old, ripe for the draft, it seemed like the thing to do until he figured out they actually shot at each other over there. After completing boot camp, Allen volunteered for duty in Viet Nam to stay off of ships. In true military fashion, he was promptly sent to Oahu, Hawaii for two years where he spent his days working with gorgeous officers’ wives, holding their hands and helping them find housing while their fighter pilot husbands risked their lives flying missions over the war zone. Because he was too young to get into the bars and rejected by all of the local girls, Allen spent every afternoon and weekend surfing until his brown skin took on the look of a used oxford. Eventually, he and his brother (who transferred from the U.S.S. Enterprise to be with his sibling on the island) rented a two-bedroom house on the tip of Waimea Bay, with mangoes growing in the yard and the most famous big-wave beaches up and down the street.

After being discharged in 1969, Allen knew that he wanted to go to college – largely because of Dustin Hoffman’s adventures in the movie, “The Graduate”. The first two years, he merely went through the motions, sowing his wild oats, barely managing to graduate with an Associate of Arts degree. The following fall, he got through the first two weeks at California State University, Northridge before succumbing to a severe case of hepatitis and had to drop out of school.

The fall semester was nearly over by the time Allen regained his health. So, the question was, “Now what?”

Bitten by the ski bug in 1965, Allen loved skiing, the mountains and all things cold. Faced with a blank slate and the opportunity to either wait for the next semester or go where his heart took him, he accepted a job at a local ski resort, working as a lift operator, ski patrolman and ski instructor, followed by a summer in Europe. It wouldn’t be the last time skiing became a major part of his life.

After several restless years living in the mountains, Allen decided to pursue a “real job,” moved back to Los Angeles and enrolled at the Royal Barber College in downtown Los Angeles, where he spent the better part of a year shaving, trimming and delousing the homeless until he accumulated enough hours to take his barber’s license examination. A year later, he earned his cosmetology license and cut hair at several posh salons during the height of Disco Fever, sleeping with the majority of his clientele, until an angry husband with a gun made moving to San Diego seem like a good idea.

After 10 years of buzz cutting, bobbing and shingling every form of frizzy, highlighted, layered and processed form of split ends, Allen returned to academia to finish his bachelor’s degree. At the same time, he got swept up in the long distance running craze of the early 1970s and enrolled in the Exercise Physiology program at San Diego State University, eventually earning his Master’s degree and certification as a Preventive and Rehabilitative Exercise Specialist with the American College of Sports Medicine. His first job offer took him straight back to Los Angeles where he became the Director of the Executive Fitness Program at the prestigious Los Angeles Athletic Club on the corner of 7th and Olive.

Another 10 years went by before Allen became bored with taking responsibility for other people’s health and started looking for yet another new career. The answer was computers – those clunky, gray office machines that occupied the entire corner of your desk. Smitten by computers in 1980 (long before the Internet or home computers), he started looking for ways to make himself marketable to a new field. Because of his teaching experience in graduate school, he was given the chance to train new computer users at a local import company, while spending nights inhaling users’ manuals before anyone caught onto to the fact that he don’t know the first thing about what he was doing. “For the life of me,” Allen says. “I have no idea why they hired me.” Nonetheless, a new career was born.

By 1996, after working in a number of different technical positions, Allen was offered a chance to combine his love for skiing and working with computers when he moved to Colorado, working for Vail Resorts. His mission was to keep more than 200 computers on Vail Mountain up and running in between powder runs in Vail’s famous back bowls. “To this day,” Allen says, “it was the best job I’ve ever had. I skied over 140 days a year – and got paid for it.”

Allen is still living in Vail and teaches skiing full time during the winter while focusing on his writing during the summer. He’s currently wrapping up his third book, “The Zygote and the Pink Canoe” (you’ll have to read the story to figure that one out) while he continues to write for local newspapers, magazines, the web and other freelance assignments.

“inhaling user manuals” I love it! And now from the author himself:

I am an award winning, syndicated writer living in Vail, Colorado. In 2006, I was a Humorpress Semi-finalist for “Birth Anomalies I’d Like to Have”, and a Finalist for my essay, “For Better or For Worse: Man Takes Marital Vows with Himself”.

I have been featured on NBC News, ABC’s The View, KYSL Radio, TV8 Vail and Plum TV16. I have also been published in The Writer Magazine, The Denver Post, The Aspen Times and was a founding writer for Lance Armstrong’s wellness website, Livestrong.Com.

My first book, “Ski Instructors Confidential: The Stories Ski Instructors Swap Back at the Lodge” was published in 2005, is in its second printing and sold around the world in book stores and on-line.

My second book, “Watching Grandma Circle the Drain” (AuthorHouse, 2011) has received rave reviews on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Books-a-Million and dozens of independent websites and blogs.

I have also contributed to “Chicken Soup for the Soul: Runners” (2010) and “The Gigantic Reader” (2008). I’m currently wrapping up the manuscript on my third book, “The Zygote and a Pink Canoe,” another collection of humorous and satirical essays.

I started dabbling with writing while I was completing my graduate thesis, “The Relationship Between Glycosylated Hemoglobin and Plasma Lactate Accumulation in the Type II Diabetic During Sub-maximal Exercise”. After spending 10 hours a day reading and writing about blood, I was desperate for a way to break out and exercise my suppressed sense of humor. So, I stole a few sheets of department letterhead and posted an “authorized” list of approved thesis topics. They included subjects like “The Effects of Chest Hair on the Aerodynamics of Russian Women Pole Vaulters During High Altitude Training” and “Blood Doping in Male Pre-pubescent Chess Players”. It was a hit. It even got a laugh from the department chairman.

Another similar exercise occurred when I was working for the U.S. Army in Munich, Germany. Bored with the doldrums of my daily routine, I posted a memorandum from the base commander explaining the new restroom policy. Concerned with the senseless amount of time being wasted visiting the restrooms, he implemented a policy whereby employees were allotted two, ten-minute visits per day, based on the first letter of their last name. Miss your appointed time? You had to wait until the next day. I knew it was a success when my office mate swallowed it hook, line and sinker and ran down the hall to complain about the new policy. I left a short time later…

Since then, I’ve enjoyed poking fun at everything in life – the more serious, the better. Nothing is off-limits. And, like many standup comedians, I’m constantly looking for fodder on the hundreds of newspapers and websites I peruse on a daily basis. It doesn’t take much to get me going. I recently heard about a program for incarcerated inmates who bring homeless dogs into their cells to teach them sound domestic values in exchange for companionship. I thought to myself, “That’s great for the inmates, but what effect is that going to have on the dogs?” The result was an essay about an impressionable dog that ended up smoking cigarettes, getting tattooed, joining a prison gang and smuggling cell phones and other contraband into Leavenworth State Penitentiary.

Another idea came from simply going out to dinner. On a first date to an expensive restaurant, I was embarrassed to admit that I couldn’t interpret half the items on the menu. Instead of asking the waiter what Haggis canapé giardiniera on brioche toast was, I just ordered it – and half a dozen other foreign sounding dishes. The result was one of my favorite essays, “The $84 Windpipe”. I’ve also written about things like going online to find a sizzling Russian bride, the challenges of naming a newborn baby, challenges in personal hygiene and what it’s like to be stuck in Purgatory (only to go on to be reincarnated as a Jewish chicken).

One of the keys to great humor writing is finding something most people can relate to – the simpler, the better – then inject emotion, stress and tension into it. Voila… You have the beginnings of a great, funny story. It’s a winning equation that Jerry Seinfeld and other successful comedians have used for years in standup routines, screenplays and magazine articles.

Another thing I do that results in great outcomes is extensively researching the subject before writing. I approach comedy articles as if they were non-fiction topics. For instance, I wrote an article called, “The Happiest Peak on Earth” about a father who promised to take his young children on a Mount Everest expedition. By the time they were released from school for their vacation, the climbing window had closed. Did he cancel the trip? Absolutely not. He just changed the climbing location to the Matterhorn – not the majestic peak towering over Zermatt, but the cement behemoth in the middle of Disneyland in Anaheim, California – 147 feet above sea level. I included genuine locations like Pixie Hollow, Sleeping Beauty’s Castle and the Gibson Girl Ice Cream Parlor on Main street and wrote the story as if I was describing a life or death summit to the top of Mount Everest – including equipment, food and challenges. Accurate, tight articles result in wonderfully humorous stories.

Writing great stories starts with a great idea. What you do with it depends on your creativity and the courage to take the subject somewhere where it’s never been before.

You can find more about Allen and his writing via… website: www.snowwriter.com or his blog at www.snowwriter.com/blog.

***

If you would like to take part in an author spotlight, take a look at opportunities-on-this-blog (the spotlights are option (a)) or email me for details.

** NEW!! You can now subscribe to this blog on your Kindle / Kindle app via Amazon.co.uk or Amazon.com **

For writers / readers willing to give feedback and / or writers wanting feedback, take a look at this blog’s Feedback page.

I welcome items for critique directly (see Editing & Critique) or for posting on the online writing groups listed below:

Morgen’s Online Non-Fiction Writing Group

Morgen’s Online Novel Writing Group

Morgen’s Online Poetry Writing Group

Morgen’s Online Script Writing Group

Morgen’s Online Short Story Writing Group

We look forward to reading your comments.

Free eBook: Fifty 5pm Fictions (Volume 5): Oct 12 & Oct 13, 2013

October 12, 2013October 12, 2013Leave a comment

I’m delighted to say that my fifth volume of ‘Fifty 5pm Fictions’ is free today Oct 12th & tomorrow Oct 13, 2013.

Fifty 5pm Fictions (Volume 5) exclusive to Amazon.com and Amazon.co.uk, containing the following stories:

I could have cried (491 words), Even the dog is borrowed (302), Me, myself and I (895), Transparent (433), The ghost of the half-empty bed (622), Andrew would have been proud (330), Furry like a dog (698), Passion Wagon (60), All he wanted (198), Best in Show (795), Two backwards, one forwards (476), Full Moon (166), Eddie’s Fault (454), Getting to seven (204), Smile (140), Incessant Vera (194), Elimination (294), Lock jaw (29), Hold On (725), They try to with the food (670), Just getting started (60), An American Werewolf in London (710), No joke (127), A lot to learn (933), Sentimental keepsake (547), Ocean Drive (321), Police escort (619), Spice of life (238), Giving Gene Simmons a run for his money (55), Two Rows (567), Half-human (292), A Bad Feeling (300), Off by Heart (120), Hot Air (55), Write what you know (141), How hard can that b- (55), All Heart (504), Through (111), Curved into a smile (663), Tumble Turn (167 words), Bringing Work Home (87), Muddied By Misfortune (163 words), A Right Miss Marple (333), Mum Thinks It Was Me (210 words), Trust Me (391 words), Attracting Airheads (427 words), Erlina Didn’t Mind (94 words), First Day (151 words), Cleaning Up The Town (71), Holding Hands (400). Total word count: 16,998.

Other volumes to follow… A list of these and my other eBooks can be found here.

My Amazon page is http://www.amazon.co.uk/Morgen-Bailey/e/B007SNIBF8 or http://www.amazon.com/Morgen-Bailey/e/B007SNIBF8.

** NEW!! You can now subscribe to this blog on your Kindle / Kindle app via Amazon.co.uk or Amazon.com **

For writers / readers willing to give feedback and / or writers wanting feedback, take a look at this blog’s Feedback page.

I welcome items for critique directly (see Editing & Critique) or for posting on the online writing groups listed below:

Morgen’s Online Non-Fiction Writing Group

Morgen’s Online Novel Writing Group

Morgen’s Online Poetry Writing Group

Morgen’s Online Script Writing Group

Morgen’s Online Short Story Writing Group

We look forward to reading your comments.

5PM Fiction 280: Cocoon

October 11, 2013October 5, 2013Leave a comment

Welcome to the two hundred and eightieth in this series that is ‘5pm Fiction’.

I was nearing completion of the 2012 project when I decided that I didn’t want to stop at the end of May so 5PM Fiction was born. I put a load of prompts on the 5PM Fiction page and today’s was to write a story in second person-viewpoint set at an airport. Here is my 200-worder.

Cocoon

It’s the one place you dread. Psyche yourself up so much that you feel sick before you get on the plane. If you liked alcohol more you’d get drunk but then you know that would make things worse.

Looking around, you compare like-for-like; ‘suits’ on the red eye, but even the shades of grey differ. You’ve been often enough the past few weeks for some to become familiar but they look through you, used to seeing the same faces but not communicating, unless it’s mobile to ear.

You send a text to your brother, always waiting at the other end, say your flight’s on time and you’ll be there as usual.

The sign comes up and you switch off your phone, put it in your bag, no need for the formality of a reply.

The flight’s not too bad and you think you might actually start to enjoy it but you know you won’t have to do this much longer. That Dad won’t last much longer.

As you walk into arrivals, a stranger holds a placard containing your name and you feel your legs weaken. You switch on your phone and it beeps, clicking the ‘read’ button confirms the worst.

***

Photograph above courtesy of morguefile.com.

** NEW!! You can now subscribe to this blog on your Kindle / Kindle app via Amazon.co.uk or Amazon.com **

For writers / readers willing to give feedback and / or writers wanting feedback, take a look at this blog’s Feedback page.

I welcome items for critique directly (see Editing & Critique) or for posting on the online writing groups listed below:

Morgen’s Online Non-Fiction Writing Group

Morgen’s Online Novel Writing Group

Morgen’s Online Poetry Writing Group

Morgen’s Online Script Writing Group

Morgen’s Online Short Story Writing Group

We look forward to reading your comments.

Flash Fiction Friday 108: A Shrinking World by Christopher Farley

October 11, 2013October 9, 20137 Comments

Welcome to Flash Fiction Friday and the one hundred and eighth piece in this series. This week’s is a 349-worder by Christopher Farley. This story will be podcasted in episode 34 (with two other stories and some 6-worders) on Sunday 1st December.

A Shrinking World

The greens and greys reflect on the surface of the lake. It’s almost 11pm and it’s still hot and humid. There may be another storm tonight. More water. At least the clouds will block out the sun, which won’t set, not this far north. It’s like having a yellow moon in the night sky. Or what should be night.

You see, Greenland really is a green land now. The glaciers turned into water quite a while ago. This high up on the plateau we’re safe from the rising waters, for now. Ice at the North Pole? That’s a memory for some of us, for others, the kids, it’s just a myth, like dragons and hoards of gold.

Oh, the push on the boundaries of science. Fools! In their search to prove or disprove something called Higgs Boson with their atom particle collider something went wrong, horribly. They shrunk the planet. Continents started sliding under or over each other and the world, as the old communications advert used to say, just got smaller. All that water had to go somewhere and so it went up.

The world became estranged mountain communities; the Rockies, Andes, Himalayas. I even heard there’s a small Alpine community but no one has ever returned to confirm this. They want to and they try. They leave in old, rusty ships from time-to-time. People still insist on leaving, buoyed by hope but not by water. The oceans are far too dangerous now. The Earth has become one continuous stretch of water so when a storm hits there’s no longer any landmass to break up the huge waves that just continue to build and the wind continues to blow. I’ve heard even the most massive ships wouldn’t have a chance out there. My chance? I’ll take it on the land under my feet, what remains of it, and hope.

At one time, the world worried about nuclear war and an atomic winter. Now the Earth’s crust is edging nearer to its core and it keeps getting hotter; they created an atomic-particle summer.

And the waters keep on rising.

I asked Chris what prompted this piece and he said…

I had this view of Lake Maggiore one evening just as the sun was setting behind the mountains, of which I took a picture. I then wondered what sort of world it would be if I were actually sitting on one of the last pieces of terra ferma left in the world. This is the result.

Apart from a lack of knowledge of things blog-technical, I have no knowledge whatsoever of either Higgs Boson or atomic particle colliders, but I did only have 500 words to play with. 🙂

You did indeed. Aren’t I mean. 🙂 Thank you, Chris.

Christopher Farley. He lived a sheltered life in the wilds of Kent from where he was saved by the written word. So much so that he still corresponds with certain people with A PEN AND PAPER!!

Upon moving to London, a bit like Dick Whittington, searching for streets of gold, he happened upon a beautiful Italian lady who later decided to take him to the sunny realm of southern Switzerland, where he can still be found, smiling inanely, continuously in search of Weissbier.

When he is not working or drinking he sits in front of the computer, searching for fictional inspiration. You can find Chris via his blogs http://christopherfarley.wordpress.com and http://talkingtosh.wordpress.com.

If you’d like to submit your 6-word or 500-word max. stories for consideration for Flash Fiction Friday take a look here, or up to 2,000 words for critique on my Online Short Story Writing Group (links below).

** NEW!! You can now subscribe to this blog on your Kindle / Kindle app via Amazon.co.uk or Amazon.com **

For writers / readers willing to give feedback and / or writers wanting feedback, take a look at this blog’s Feedback page.

I welcome items for critique directly (see Editing & Critique) or for posting on the online writing groups listed below:

Morgen’s Online Non-Fiction Writing Group

Morgen’s Online Novel Writing Group

Morgen’s Online Poetry Writing Group

Morgen’s Online Script Writing Group

Morgen’s Online Short Story Writing Group

We look forward to reading your comments.

5PM Fiction 279: Just Enough To Say I’m Here

October 10, 2013October 5, 2013Leave a comment

Welcome to the two hundred and seventy-ninth in this series that is ‘5pm Fiction’.

I was nearing completion of the 2012 project when I decided that I didn’t want to stop at the end of May so 5PM Fiction was born. I put a load of prompts on the 5PM Fiction page and today’s was to write a story from the one-word prompt of ‘speculate’. Here is my 525-worder.

Just Enough To Say I’m Here

“Speculate to accumulate,” Ted beamed as he waved his winning ticket at the row of betting shop TV screens.

Gerald screwed up his slip and threw it on the table, pulling a face at Ted behind his back.

Ted turned round and Gerald quickly changed his expression to a smile, albeit a fake one. “How many is that now?”

“Four. Just need another two and it’s three grand, thank you very much.”

Gerald puckered his lips and blew out a quiet raspberry. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen three thousand pounds in any form; on his bank statement, let alone winnings, but then he didn’t bet in the quantities Ted put on. Annie wouldn’t let him, especially since he’d retired. They didn’t have that sort of cash to “throw away”, as she called it.

“You should stick with my recommendations, Gerry,” Ted added, pulling out a pack of cigarettes from an inside pocket and walking towards the front door.

Gerald had tried that in the past but then they’d both lost and Ted had blamed him, calling him his ‘unlucky tonne’. They’d fallen out for a while after that but then Ted had phoned him, asking him out again, as if nothing had happened.

Gerald wasn’t sure why he was even there. Ted didn’t need him, he knew everyone in the betting shop on first name terms. Gerald thought it was the masochistic streak in his… he couldn’t even call him a friend. His co-patriot, conspirator. Whatever it was, Ted clearly wanted him there to show him off, belittle at time, conscious or otherwise.

Gerald watched Ted through the shop window, puffing away on the little white stick that used to bring Gerald such pleasure but now disgusted him; the smell, the expenses, the alienation since the Smoking Ban had come in. But Ted wasn’t alienated, there were more people out there with him than inside with Gerald, not that they were ‘with’ Gerald. No one paid him any attention, no one other than Ted had spoken to him the whole time he was there. They’d probably not even noticed he was there. They’d probably not even noticed he was back, or had been away; the little grey man that no one sees.

Colour, Gerald thought. I need to start wearing some colour, get Annie to dig out my holiday clothes. Nothing too loud, just enough to say I’m here.

Flicking through the Racing Post, Gerald reached the next race, the three o’clock, and looked down at the list of horses, riders and trainers. He’d followed Ted’s form long enough to know what he’d pick and knew he should do the same, but something told him that today wasn’t going to be his lucky day, whatever he did.

But then he realised it didn’t matter. Nothing mattered other than being happy and he wasn’t happy, not here. He was happy at home with Annie. Anywhere with Annie. So yes, he’d ask her to dig out his holiday clothes, give them an airing, then pack them, take her away somewhere, and stop being the little grey man that no one but Annie sees.

***

Photograph above courtesy of morguefile.com.

** NEW!! You can now subscribe to this blog on your Kindle / Kindle app via Amazon.co.uk or Amazon.com **

For writers / readers willing to give feedback and / or writers wanting feedback, take a look at this blog’s Feedback page.

I welcome items for critique directly (see Editing & Critique) or for posting on the online writing groups listed below:

Morgen’s Online Non-Fiction Writing Group

Morgen’s Online Novel Writing Group

Morgen’s Online Poetry Writing Group

Morgen’s Online Script Writing Group

Morgen’s Online Short Story Writing Group

We look forward to reading your comments.

Guest post: NaNoWriMo Boot Camp, or How to Produce a Killer Novel in 30 Days by Evan Marshall and Martha Jewett

October 10, 20134 Comments

Today’s guest blog post, on the topic of the wonderful (this’ll be my seventh) NaNoWriMo, is brought to you by Evan Marshall and Martha Jewett.

NaNoWriMo Boot Camp, or How to Produce a Killer Novel in 30 Days

Who says you’ve got only 30 days to produce your NaNoWriMo masterpiece? Why not start now? You could at least lay down the framework for your novel. Here are our seven tips for doing this with maximum impact.

There are no rules (except the word length, of course). Your aim is simply to write a dynamite story. These days a lot of authors are having great fun with “genre blends.” Try it. It’s a great way to brainstorm and come up with a darn good story idea. Just take two or more genres you love and stir well. Here’s an example. Let’s say you love (1) murder mysteries, (2) urban fantasy and (3) YA. Hmm . . . a YA urban fantasy murder mystery. YA means a teenage protagonist. An urban fantasy would be set primarily in a city, and often there is a kick-ass heroine. A murder mystery means, well, a murder, and someone solving it. So your lead character is a city-toughened teen female who sets out to solve the murder of someone close to her. Since it’s urban fantasy, the suspects involve vampires, maybe a werewolf or two, a demon, and let’s throw in a shapeshifter. No—let’s make the shapeshifter her sidekick, a friend from school. We like the way this is shaping up. You try it!
Focus on a great hook for your novel’s beginning. Do not start with a description of the weather, or some long-winded explanation of who your main character is, her life up to now, and so on. Start within the head of this character, who is in the process of doing something truly interesting. Now take from this situation a sentence to begin your novel that will make your readers sit up and take notice. Let’s take our urban teen amateur detective above. She’s gone to the home of her friend the shapeshifter to hang out after school. He has said he wants to show her something. The shapeshifter is most comfortable in the form of a mountain lion. He lives in the ruins of a building on the outskirts of town, and can usually be found up on a stone ledge. But today he’s not there, and your heroine can’t find him anywhere else either. However, it’s clear he’s recently eaten. Tarlon wasn’t on his usual ledge, but she knew he’d been here recently because a fresh deer carcass lay on the floor in front of her, its entrails torn out. That would certainly hook us!
Since you’re working with only 50,000 words, keep story-slowers to a minimum. If your reader has seen one of these before, don’t describe it. If you must describe it, use “description in action.” In other words, what you’re describing is moving somehow. Let’s say you’re describing Tarlon’s abandoned building. The hospital had been bombed into oblivion at least ten years ago, but dust still rose from the ruins like dirty steam. Avoid flashbacks, which slow down or stop your story. Readers have little patience for them even in full-length novels. If you must show us something from the story’s past, do it in short bursts and spread them out. Finally, avoid explanations unless the reader needs one in order to understand what’s happening in the story right now, and that’s when you give it to us. Tarlon lovingly opened the mother-of-pearl box, looking sad—it had been a gift from his mother when he was a young shapeshifter.
Keep your viewpoint characters to a minimum. You could easily go with only one viewpoint character—your lead—in a 50,000-word novel. Or two would work; possibly three, but that’s pushing it. Obviously, if you’re writing a romance, you’ll have two viewpoint characters, the hero and the heroine.
In a novel of this length, avoid a subplot unless it’s integral to the main story line. Otherwise a subplot diverts interest from the story you’re really trying to tell, and that can be fatal in a short novel.
Don’t start your wrap-up too late, or you’ll be accused of having written a “tacked-on ending.” A good place to start your story’s wrap-up segment is three-quarters of the way through the story. In a typical 50,000-word manuscript, this is around page 150 of a 200-page manuscript.
Have fun and don’t hold back. This is your chance to really have fun. There’s no editor breathing down your neck or telling you your novel doesn’t fit neatly into a cookie-cutter category; no parent figure to tell you not to use “bad” words or write about sex; no creditors wanting you to write a story that will make money. This book is just for you. Sure, if you can do something with it later, that’s great, but don’t create it with that in mind. The best novels are written primarily to be entertainment for their creators.

I’m so looking forward to November 1st. Thank you, Evan, Martha!

Evan Marshall is a fiction expert, mystery author, and former editor. For 30 years he has been a literary agent specializing in fiction. The Marshall Plan® Novel Writing Software, co-authored with Martha Jewett, is based on his bestseller The Marshall Plan® for Novel Writing.

Martha Jewett is a memoir advocate, editorial expert, and co-author of The Marshall Plan® Novel Writing Software. She has worked as an editor, editorial consultant, ghost writer, and literary agent.

Evan and Martha have kindly sent me the software and I shall be reviewing it on this blog in the next few weeks!

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